


Sweet Home Arkanis

by Gefionne, minzimpression



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Soft Kylux with angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:59:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 68,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gefionne/pseuds/Gefionne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/minzimpression/pseuds/minzimpression
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is engaged to the man of his dreams. There’s just one catch: he’s already married to his high school sweetheart, Ben Solo. Now he needs a divorce, and he needs it fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hux

**Author's Note:**

> AU loosely based on the film Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
> 
> Hux's POV chapters courtesy of [Gefionne](http://gefionne.tumblr.com/) and Ben's POV chapters courtesy of [minzimpression](http://minzimpression.tumblr.com/)
> 
> A little note about names: We started this off before Hux got his canon first name, so we chose to stick with what we had rather than use Armitage.
> 
> By popular demand we changed the tags to reflect the slightly angstier bits.

## Hux

_“Is this really supposed to be the introductory paragraph?” Hux looked disdainfully down at the printed page on the desk in front of him. “You spelled ‘medieval’ wrong_ twice _, and we_ cannot _start a paper with the line ‘Long ago in a land far, far away.’ I asked you to do this one thing, Solo, and you can’t even manage that.”_

_Next to him, Ben was resting his chin in the palm of his hand, watching Hux. They had been working together on their final European history report for the past three weeks, enough time for Hux to know that Ben Solo was the most intolerable partner he could have had the misfortune to be assigned. If the drivel he had written up was the best he could do, Hux had to wonder how he wasn’t failing out of tenth grade._

_“Solo,” he snapped, “are you even listening?”_

_“You’re going to marry me,” Ben said._

_The angry reprimand for substandard work Hux had been about to deliver died on his tongue. “What?”_

_Ben sat up straighter, a small smile playing at his lips. “I don’t mean now, but someday.”_

_Hux stared at him. “Are you insane? I don’t even like you.”_

_“You do,” said Ben. “You’d never admit it to your friends, but you do.”_

_“You’re wrong.”_

_“No, I’m not.” He leaned just slightly closer. “You like me.” Closer. “And you’re going to marry me.”_

_Hux wanted to laugh at him, to tell him he would rather hang than have Ben Solo for a husband, but the earnest brightness of Ben’s brown eyes had caught him and wouldn’t let go. He barely registered it when Ben’s warm fingers touched his cheek. All he could see were those eyes moving toward him, the lids slowly lowering._

_The kiss was brief, barely more than a brush of Ben’s lips against his, yet the moment stretched on and on. Hux was sixteen years old; he had been kissed before—and far more deeply than he was kissing Ben—but this was different. His heart was thundering in his chest, his body heating up._

_When Ben pulled back, he looked wonderstruck. “Wow.”_

_Hux blinked mutely at him, his throat too tight to even attempt to speak._

_“You felt that, right?” Ben asked. “Don’t you see now?”_

_“See what?”_

_“That you’re going to marry me.”_

_Hux took a breath. “I’ll consider it.”_

_Ben was still grinning when Hux kissed him again._

 

Hux sat up with a start, looking around him with bleary eyes. He was in the loft space he rented in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, half a world away from the classroom in which he and Ben Solo had been sitting in the dream. He rubbed a hand over his face. It had been years since he had dreamt of high school.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said the young man a few paces away. Mitaka—Dopheld, though he refused to let anyone call him that—was kneeling at the foot of a mannequin, adjusting the hem of the suit pants that hung from it.

“You weren’t suppose to let me sleep,” Hux said, getting up. “We have too much work to do.”

“Don’t get on his case about it,” said Phasma as she appeared from around the corner. “I told him not to wake you. You needed the rest. You looked like hell.”

He made a face at her, though he took the paper cup of coffee she held out to him. “How kind of you to say so.”

“You need to go home,” she said. “You’ve been here for almost two straight days, Hux. I know the show is tomorrow, but you need to shower.”

“I’ll have time for that later. I need to finish the alterations on the gala dresses before the models come in for the final fittings in the morning.”

“Already done. I put Thanisson on it. The semi-formal men’s collection, too.”

Hux let his shoulders relax, heavy with gratitude. “Phasma, have I told you that you’re indispensable?”

“Damn right I am,” she said.

Hux had met her in his first year at Parsons School of Design, when he was still a doe-eyed kid from nowhere. She had come to the States from England as a teenager, like him, and as the only two people with accents in their small—elite—fashion design program, they had been constantly pushed together. Fortunately, neither of them had minded. Since one particular party where they had both indulged in too many gin martinis, they had been inseparable.

Whereas Hux’s focus in school had been the design aspect of the fashion industry, Phasma had concentrated on marketing. Through her tireless efforts selling Hux’s work, they had managed to land their own show during New York’s Fashion Week. It was the event that would truly launch Hux’s career, putting him on the map and his clothing line in stores. Eventually he would have his own boutiques, but for now he would settle for having his work on the hangers anywhere.

“Everything’s under control, Hux,” Phasma said, giving him a hard look. “Go home and get some rest.”

“All right,” he said. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

As he walked past her, Phasma put her hand on his shoulder. “This is it. We’re really going to do it.”

“I know.”

Hux caught the train to his apartment in Brooklyn, a tiny studio that he paid far too much for. He trudged up the four flights of stairs to his door, unlocking the three deadbolts with three different keys. As he stepped inside, he nearly stepped on the red and pink rose petals scattered across the throw rug he had bought on sale at Pier One when he moved in two years before. The trail led through the entryway and into the central space, where at least ten vases of flowers were scattered around.

A full bouquet was lying on his bed, a handwritten note tied on with silk ribbon. Hux went over and lifted it, smelling the fragrant roses. On the embossed card he read:

 

_Darling - I thought you should have something as beautiful as you and your designs to remind you how perfect your show is going to be. I know you’re nervous, but you’re going to do wonderfully. I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow. - P_

 

Hux smiled. He hated when Poe called him pet names, but he knew it made Poe happy, so he tolerated it. After all, what other boyfriend of his had ever filled his apartment with roses?

Taking his phone out of his pocket, he pulled up his text messages and wrote: _I just got home. You are unbelievable. Thank you._

Setting his phone and the bouquet down on the bedside table, he looked at the bed. It wasn’t covered in petals, so Hux could fall into it without spending ten minutes collecting them. He stripped down to his shorts and slid under the covers. Just before he closed his eyes, his phone buzzed.

The message read: _You deserve all that and more. I love you._

Hux fell back against the pillows. Poe was, just as Hux had told him, unbelievable. They had met ten months before at a showcase. Poe, the son of Mayor Dameron, had been surrounded by admirers for most of the night, and Hux had resigned himself to appreciating the elegant cut of his tuxedo and his white-toothed smile from a distance. However, as Hux was standing at a table sipping his third glass of champagne, he had heard a deep-voiced, “Excuse me.” He had looked up to see Poe to his right, holding two glasses.

“It seems my plan wasn’t that well thought out,” Poe said. “I thought I could bring you a drink as an excuse to talk to you, but you already have one.” He raised one of the glasses. “Is it possible I could convince you that this one is better than the one you have?”

Hux, surprised, took a moment to reply. When he finally managed it, he said, “I believe you can.” He set down the half-empty glass he held and took the proffered one.

Poe grinned. “Cheers.” Their glasses chimed pleasantly as they met. “May I ask your name?”

“Hux.”

“Just Hux?”

“Brennan,” he said, “but I prefer my surname.”

“Hux it is, then,” said Poe. “What brings you here tonight?”

“I studied under Mr. Snoke. He invited me.”

Poe’s smile returned. “You’re a designer. Is that suit one of yours?”

“It is,” said Hux, glancing down at the three-piece, pinstriped suit.

“It’s lovely. It looks great on you.” Poe hurriedly added, “If I can get away with saying that after just introducing myself.”

Hux found the corners of his mouth turning up. A friendly conversation was transitioning very smoothly to a flirtation. “You haven’t introduced yourself.”

“Oh god. I’m sorry.” He held out his hand. “I’m Poe Dameron.”

“I know,” said Hux. “I think everyone here does. But it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dameron.”

“Poe, please. Hux.”

They talked for nearly half an hour more, but soon enough Poe was being pulled away to meet someone else. He gestured to the woman who had approached him that he would be right there.

“I’d like to have dinner with you,” he said to Hux. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

Hux had his usual weekly powwow with Phasma on Sunday nights. They got take out and went through Hux’s newest designs. They hadn’t missed one in nearly four years, but they were about to. “Yes, I am,” he said.

“Good. Great,” Poe said. “Seven o’clock at...La Pomme?”

Hux had read about that restaurant in the reviews; it was supposed to be utterly delectable. “That would be lovely.”

Poe’s radiant smile lit his face again. “Perfect. I’ll see you then, Hux. Goodnight for now.”

“Goodnight,” Hux said just before Poe was swallowed up by the crowd.

“Well, well, well,” said Phasma, shining in a backless silver dress as she appeared at Hux’s side. “What did aspiring senator Poe Dameron have to say to you?”

Hux drained the rest of his champagne. Somehow he did think it tasted better than the glasses he had had before. “I’m having dinner with him tomorrow.”

“Good God. Are you sure you’re ready to date the mayor’s only son?”

“I have no idea, but there was no way in hell I was turning him down.”

That first date had gone perfectly. Poe was charming, intelligent, and beautiful. Hux was enraptured almost immediately. The conversation flowed unrestrained between them, and by the time they finished the bottle of wine they had shared, Hux was determined to see him again. Fortunately, Poe was amenable. He asked Hux to join him for a walk in Central Park in two days. Hux had.

After that they had taken to seeing each other two or three times a week. Though Hux was self-conscious about his less than posh apartment, he had eventually worked up the courage to ask Poe to come home with him. It had been good, very good. Phasma had demanded details, but Hux had just smiled.

As far as he was concerned, he had gotten incredibly lucky. Poe was doting and sweet, sometimes too much so. He was different than any other man Hux had ever dated seriously. Hux’s friends had even begun to ask questions about just how serious they were. No one had dropped the M word yet, but it was implied.

Unbidden, the thought of dark brown eyes came into Hux’s mind.

“You’re going to marry me,” Ben Solo had said.

Hux stared up at the ceiling of his apartment. Poe was everything Ben Solo hadn’t been: cultured, social, _ideal_. Yet, Hux couldn’t help but think of that kiss he had shared with Ben, and all those that had followed. Sighing, he banished those memories and concentrated on the the scent of Poe’s roses.

 

* * *

 

Music was pounding from the runway just outside of the staging area where Hux was frantically working to prepare his models for their walks. There were ten people, each of them wearing the semi-formal attire that was the centerpiece of the show. There were formal gowns at the finish, but they were not Hux's true forte.

“Okay, people,” Phasma was saying. “Let’s do this.” Taking the first model by the shoulders, she guided him toward the runway. Hux watched him go with anxiety roiling in his gut.

“Relax,” said Phasma. “This is going to be flawless.”

“What if one of them stumbles?” Hux asked, clenching his clammy hands at his sides. He rubbed the thumb of his left hand against the underside of the third finger. “They’re young, inexperienced.”

“They’ll be fine. Have a little faith.”

“I don’t have faith,” he grumbled. “You know that.”

Phasma just rolled her eyes and went to see to the next model.

The full show took thirty minutes and, despite Hux’s fears, went off without a hitch. Hux finally felt like he could breathe as the master of ceremonies stepped out to once again to announce that this was B. Hux’s new line and it was going to be one of the highlights of the season. After they had changed back into their street clothes, the models hugged Hux and gave their congratulations. Thanisson and Mitaka each shook Hux’s hand. He thanked them both.

“We’re going to the afterparty to get drinks,” said Phasma. “You need one.”

“I can’t,” Hux said. “I have the charity gala with Poe.”

The Damerons, as politicians and bastions of the New York charitable establishment, were expected to appear at numerous benefits and galas. Hux had been nervous when he had first attended at Poe’s side, but he had since grown accustomed to making small talk with socialites and picking politely at his thousand-dollar dinners.

Phasma gave him an unsympathetic look. “I don’t know how you tolerate those things, but have ‘fun.’”

“Thanks,” Hux said, wry.

He had brought his tuxedo with him, so he stepped into the models’ dressing room to shed his button down shirt and slacks. He paused in front of the mirrors to straighten his hair before venturing out into the vestibule, where the show’s attendees were now milling about with various cocktails in their hands. Poe was easy enough to spot. Though he was almost a head shorter than Hux, he stood out in a crowd seemingly by charm alone.

“Honey,” he said when Hux got to him, taking Hux’s hand and kissing the knuckles. “That was incredible. I’m so proud of you.”

Hux smiled, warmth blossoming in his chest. “It went well.”

Poe shook his head. “You’re too modest. There’s so much talent in you sometimes I can’t even believe it. And all of these people see it now.”

Hux cast a brief glance around the room. Soon enough the critics in attendance would be writing up reviews of his collection. He should have stayed a little longer to speak to some of them, but he was relieved to escape. He wasn’t timid per se, but Phasma was the one who could talk up a storm. Hux usually just stood by and waited to answer questions about his inspiration or the particulars of his creative process.

“I’m sorry to steal you away from all this,” said Poe, squeezing the hand that he still held.

“It’s fine,” Hux said. “Really. We should go.”

Poe beamed. “Okay. Let’s go.”

A car was waiting for them at the curb outside. Poe held the door for Hux, letting him slide into the backseat first. He threaded their fingers together again as soon as he was seated beside Hux. They drove for maybe thirteen blocks, the traffic not yet heavy enough to really detain them, but not light either. Poe talked about the designs he had liked best, though he had seen them all before. Hux was content just to listen to him, the reality of his first real show still setting in.

When the car came to a stop and Hux looked out the tinted window, his brows drew together. “This isn’t the art gallery.”

“No, it isn’t,” said Poe. “I thought we could get a bite to eat first.”

“At La Pomme?”

“It’s your favorite.”

It was, and had been ever since their first time there. However, on a Saturday night it was bound to be completely full, which Hux despised. He had never been particularly fond of large crowds. But he said, “Okay.”

Poe leaned over and kissed him. “Okay.”

They got out and made their way to the door. Once again Poe stepped ahead to open it so Hux could pass through. It was darker inside than Hux was used to, and remarkably quiet. He could actually hear the soft, ambient music.

“Dinner for two?” said a hostess, appearing from the dining room. The _empty_ dining room.

“There’s no one here,” Hux said.

“Nope,” said Poe from beside him. “It’s just us.”

“You reserved the entire restaurant?”

“It was a special occasion.”

Hux looked around, blinking with disbelief.

“Come on,” Poe said. “Let’s sit.”

The hostess led them to a table at the center of the room. Most of the others around it had been cleared so that it stood alone.

“Starting with the champagne, Mr. Dameron?” the hostess asked.

“Yes, please. We’re celebrating.”

The cork popped and the wine fizzed as it was poured into their glasses. Hux held his up as Poe did.

“To you, Brennan Hux, and the start of an incredible career. I’m constantly amazed by your talent and your passion, and I know everyone else in the world will be, too.”

“Thank you,” said Hux. “For everything.”

Poe dragged his teeth across his lower lip, an endearing tick that Hux had learned meant he was nervous. “Oh, hell. I was going to wait to do this until dessert, but I can’t.” Getting up from his chair, he came around to the side of the table. He sank down onto one knee. All the breath rushed out of Hux’s lungs.

“Hux,” Poe said, “you know I love you, and I think you know I want to spend my life with you. So, this shouldn’t really come as a surprise.” He laid his fingers over Hux’s. “Will you marry me?”

Hux looked down at him, seeing the light in his face, the hope in his brown eyes.

Brown eyes. A deeper voice than Poe’s: “You’re going to marry me.”

_Get out of my head, Ben Solo._

“Hux? Honey, now would be the time to answer.”

Hux snapped back to himself. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

Poe pulled Hux to his feet. He took his face between his hands and pressed a long kiss to his lips. “You had me scared for a minute there.”

“I didn’t mean to,” said Hux as they sat back down. “Really.”

“I know.” Poe took a sip of his wine. “So, tell me, what do you think about a May wedding?”

Hux balked, freezing with his glass a few inches from his lips. “That’s two months away.”

“I don’t see a reason to wait. Do you?”

“Well, I...no, but it hardly leaves any time to plan.”

Poe waved a dismissive hand. “We’ll hire someone to take care of that. All you’ll need to do is put on one of your suits and walk down the aisle.”

The drink Hux took of the champagne was a bit deeper than was appropriate. “We couldn’t wait just a little longer?”

“June, then?”

“Ah, no. May is perfect.”

“Then it’s settled,” said Poe. “Now, let’s eat something before we have to face the fawning masses at this gala.” He motioned the waiter over and efficiently place their orders.

Hux watched him fondly, but couldn’t help the rising dismay. He wanted to marry Poe, he really did, and he would happily do so in two months. Except for the one thing that loomed over him, a specter from his past.

“You’re going to marry me,” Ben Solo had said, and Hux had. It had been twelve years ago when they were barely more than kids, but according to the great State of Alaska, they were still lawfully wed. And now he had only two months to change that.

 

* * *

 

“You’re doing what?” Phasma asked, her voice tinny over the phone.

“I’m at the Fairbanks airport waiting for a local plane,” Hux replied, half a sigh. He had just arrived after a ten hour flight from LaGuardia, which had put him in Fairbanks at one o’clock in the afternoon, just in time to make the daily run from the regional tarmac to the single airfield in the town of Arkanis, population eight hundred and twelve. Even in March the snows were still heavy enough to block the roads, making the airfield the only way to get both cargo and people into and out of town.

“What the hell are you doing in Alaska?” said Phasma. “We were supposed to get lunch.”

Hux switched the phone to his other ear. “It was an unexpected trip.”

“It certainly was. You decided to fly across the continent and didn’t say anything. Are you having some kind of breakdown about Poe?”

The day after Poe had asked Hux to marry him, Hux had chosen a select few of his friends to tell. Phasma, of course, had been the first. She had grilled him on how he felt about it, as if she knew that something was off about Hux’s attitude. But no one in New York knew anything about Ben Solo, and they weren’t going to. Hux would get Ben to sign the divorce papers he was carrying in the overnight bag over his shoulder and get out of Arkanis as quickly as possible.

“I’m not having a breakdown,” he said. “I’m fine. I just have something to take care of.”

“You’re being cagey. You’re never cagey. Is something wrong?”

“No, no. I promise I’m all right. I’ll be back in the city in a couple of days.”

“Fine,” said Phasma. “But tell me one thing. Does Poe know where you are?”

Hux hesitated, feeling a touch of guilt. “He knows I’m away, but...no. He doesn’t know I’m in Alaska.”

“You haven’t been home in ten years. Why now?”

“It’s personal.”

He could almost hear Phasma’s brows go up. “Okay, you don’t want to tell me. I understand. But keeping things from your fiancé is a completely different thing.”

“I know,” said Hux, “but this is something I have to see to myself. Call it my last piece of business as a single man.” It wasn’t really a lie. He and Ben had been separated for the last decade and since then Hux had behaved as if he were unattached. For all intents and purposes, he was. For two more months at least.

“All right,” said Phasma. “Don’t get eaten by bears.”

“I’ll try my utmost. Goodbye, Phasma.”

“Bye, Hux.”

As he hung up, he glanced out at the landing strip, its surface cleared of snow. Fortunately, the skies were clear, which would make for a smooth flight into Arkanis. _Un_ fortunately, there was only one pilot who flew the route. Hux cringed. He would be spending the next hour trapped in a dual-engine prop plane with Han Solo, Ben’s father.

“Excuse me,” said a middle-aged woman in an airport uniform. “Are you the one going to Arkanis?”

“Yes,” said Hux.

“Oh, good. I was sent to get you. The _Falcon_ is here.”

Hux almost shook his head. Han’s plane had to be the only aircraft in a five hundred mile radius that had a name that even airport staff used.

“Thank you,” he said, adjusting the bag he carried.

The woman eyed him. “Do you have any other luggage?”

“No. This is it.” He had packed light, rolling up his warmest sweaters, a couple of dress shirts, and two spare pairs of pants. He wasn’t planning on staying any longer than was absolutely necessary.

“Okay, then. If you’ll follow me…” She made her way across the quietest part of the airport and over to a side door.

The bitter air hit Hux hard, cutting through the midweight jacket he had brought with him from New York. It was his heaviest one, but even then it wasn’t quite enough. He would have to deal with it, though. He had had no intention of buying a new coat for one day, two at most.

The _Falcon_ was waiting on the small runway outside. Its fuselage was more battered than Hux remembered, but the bird of prey painted on its side was still as recognizable as ever. As they approached, the side door opened and a tall man in a leather bomber jacket stepped out. Hux knew him just as well as he knew the plane.

“Hey, Han,” said the woman, smiling (a little flirtatiously in Hux’s opinion). “I’ve got your passenger here.”

“Thanks, Elaine,” Solo said. He turned, holding out his gloved hand, but as he looked into Hux’s face, his eyes went wide. “I’ll be damned.”

“Hello, Han.”

“Hux. You’re the last person I was expecting to see.” He looked him over. “It’s been what, eight years?”

“Ten,” said Hux.

Han rubbed the back of his neck. “Jesus. Time really flies. What are you doing back here, kid?”

Hux felt heat creeping up into his face. “I need to see Ben.”

“Does he know you’re coming?”

“No. I...don’t have his phone number anymore.”

“Well,” said Han, “he’s gonna be surprised then. Nothing wrong with surprises if you ask me.” He clapped Hux on the shoulder. “You ready, kid?”

Hux gave a curt nod.

“Let me stow your bag,” Han said as he jumped up into the plane. Hux handed it to him before pulling himself inside. He had to duck as he made his way to one of the four seats behind the cockpit.

Han gave him a look as he returned to the forward part of the cabin. “What are you doing there, kid? Come sit next to me. Be my copilot.”

Hux swallowed, but couldn’t find a way to refuse. He dropped down into the seat next to Han’s, taking a moment to examine the array of knobs, switches, and gauges on the instrument panel. As Han sat, he handed Hux a large pair of headphones that would both muffle the noise of the flight and allow to them to converse without yelling. Hux put them on.

“You all set, kid?” Han asked.

“Yes.”

“All right. Here we go.”

The engines sputtered to life before settling into a more consistent roar. Hux was thankful he had never been afraid of flying. The _Falcon_ was reliable, but the ride was nowhere near as gentle as one in a commercial airliner five times the size. They taxied into position at the end of the runway, and then Han throttled up and they were off.

“So, where’ve you been putting up these past few years, Hux?” Han said when they had reached cruising altitude.

“New York.”

“The big city, huh? I’d say I’d like to see it, but I don’t want to lie to you. It’s just too much for me, I think.”

“It can be overwhelming at times, yes,” said Hux. He had never thought so, of course. As soon as he had arrived, he had fallen in love with the chaos and hubbub of the city. It was alive in a way that neither his small village in England nor Arkanis had been. He was absolutely sure that he could never be content to live anywhere else again.

Han glanced over at him. “What kind of work are you doing there? Wait, don’t tell me; let me guess. You’re a lawyer. You were always smart.”

Hux had hardly been the valedictorian of his high school class, but his grades had been good enough. “I’m actually a designer.”

“Like an architect?”

“Ah, no. I design clothing.”

“Huh. Well, you were always good at drawing.”

Hux had been a favorite of Mrs. Ackerson, the art teacher at the school, who had been one of the only people to encourage him to continue to draw and design. Almost everyone else was shepherded into technical fields like petroleum engineering—one of the most lucrative professions in oil-rich Alaska—or into the more physical side of the oil and gas industry: technicians who worked on the massive Trans-Alaska Pipeline System or those who worked in the pumping station in Arkanis. Hux had been determined to avoid that fate.

“How is Leia doing?” he asked, directing the conversation away from himself.

“She’s fine. Just fine. They keep her pretty busy over at town hall.”

Hux raised a brow. “She’s working for the town?”

“Oh, of course you wouldn’t know,” said Han. “You left before she started her campaign. She’s in her second term as mayor now.”

When Hux had last seen Leia Solo, née Organa, she had been the forewoman at the pumping station. She had run it with ruthless efficiency, earning it more than a few awards from the pipeline company. The plaques had hung in Leia’s office there. Hux wondered who sat in that office now.

“That seems like it would suit her,” he said.

Han laughed. “You’ve got that right. She’s got Arkanis running like a well-oiled machine.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Have you heard much from your folks?”

Hux frowned. He hadn’t spoken to his parents since the day he had signed his marriage license. They had been willing to let him stay under their roof after he came out, but when he had announced that he was going to marry the boyfriend they pretended he didn’t have, they had told him to get out and not come back.

He and Ben had stayed with Han and Leia until after the wedding, when they moved into the cabin that had belonged to Ben’s grandfather. It had been in terrible shape, but Ben had promised he would fix it up, and Hux had believed him. Ben had always been good with his hands.

“I’m afraid I haven’t heard from them, no,” Hux said.

“Wish I could tell you I knew how they were doing,” said Han, “but they don’t spend much time visiting when they’re in town.”

That was a polite way of putting it. The Huxes had come to Arkanis from England because of Brendol Hux’s work, but never seemed to take to the country. They had few friends in Arkanis, and had always spent quite a bit of their time in Fairbanks. By the time Hux was in high school, he was used to living alone in the house for several weeks at the time. That was, of course, when he wasn’t with Ben and his family.

He looked at Han out of the corner of his eye. Rural Alaska was not necessarily the most forward-looking place, but when Ben had stood in front of his parents with Hux’s hand clasped in his and called Hux his boyfriend, Han had said, “Well, all right, then,” and offered them something to drink as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Leia had hugged Hux and welcomed him to the family. Hux had been so overwhelmed by affection given so freely—his own father was stoic in the extreme and his mother reserved—that he had been struck nearly dumb.

“You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?” Han had said as he passed the bowl of mashed potatoes at dinner that night.

Ben, who sat beside Hux, had laughed. “Oh, he can talk. He read MacBeth’s whole speech in English class yesterday.”

“It’s a soliloquy, not a speech,” Hux had said before he could stop himself.

“You know what I meant,” said Ben. He had turned to his parents. “You should have heard it, though. He was really good.”

Hux had flushed at the compliment. Their teacher had said the same thing, but it didn’t have the same effect as when Ben said it. Very few things had the same effect on Hux as when Ben said them.

“Well, you’ll have to read it for us, Brennan,” Leia had said. Despite the fact that everyone in Arkanis called Hux by his surname, she had always used his first.

“All right, Mrs. Solo.”

He had done the reading in their living room after dessert, sitting in a slightly sagging recliner by the fireplace. The copy of MacBeth he had held that night had been new then, its pages crisp and spine uncreased. He still had it. It was on the bookshelf in his apartment in New York. It was far more battered now; when he had nothing to new to read, he would go back to it. He thought he might be able to recite that soliloquy from memory now; he had gone over it so many times.

“You’re going to need a ride out to the cabin, huh?” said Han, bringing Hux’s attention back to him.

“Oh. Yes.” It actually hadn’t crossed his mind. He had been in the city for so long that he almost automatically assumed there was a cab to be caught somewhere. But that was definitely not the case in Arkanis.

“I bet Chewie can take you in the truck. He’s coming to pick up the produce we’re hauling in.”

Charles “Chewie” Lewis was Han’s childhood best friend and Ben’s godfather. He drove one of the town’s snow plows, but he delivered the fresh food and other necessities that Han flew in every day.

“I would appreciate that,” said Hux.

“Sure thing, kid.” Han shot him a brief glance. “I still can’t really believe you’re back.”

“It’s only for a day or so. I just need to speak to Ben, and then I need to be back in New York.”

“He’s gonna be real glad to see you, Hux. We all are.”

Hux forced a smile, though he doubted it looked convincing. “It’s good to see you, too.”

They landed forty-five minutes later, coming down smoothly onto the runway that Chewie had likely cleared of snow that morning. Han cut the engines as Hux pulled off his headphones. He was just getting down from the plane when a truck with the fading logo of Kanata’s Grocery on the side pulled up. A hulking man stepped out, his hair long and shaggy under his ballcap.

“Ho- _ly_ shit,” Chewie said. “Hux. Been a while.”

“Yes, it has,” said Hux. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain. You?”

“Fine.”

“Hey, Chewie,” Han called from a few paces away. He was opening the _Falcon_ ’s cargo door. “You going to give me a hand with this or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Chewie said. “You mind hauling a couple of boxes of lettuce, Hux? It’ll go faster with three.”

“Sure.”

It took thirty minutes to unload the plane and get everything arranged in the back of Chewie’s truck. It was a small shipment that day.

“Hop in, Hux,” Chewie said when they were finished. “Han said you’re going to the cabin?”

“Thank you, yes.”

“See you around, kid,” said Han as Hux climbed up into the cab of the truck. “Say hi to Benny for me. I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

Hux nodded and gave him a wave before shutting the door. The drive from the airfield into town took about ten minutes, but the cabin was at the far end, so it was closer to twenty. Hux’s anxiety was beginning to build as they turned onto the long driveway. It wasn’t plowed, but the snow had been packed down hard enough that they could drive over it. The truck groaned as they hit a bump. Then the cabin was in sight.

Hux’s lips parted as he took it in. The log house he remembered was still there, nestled among the trees, but it barely resembled the squat cabin he and Ben had moved into when they were eighteen. It had been added on to, and there was porch out front where a pair of snow-covered Adirondack chairs sat. The roof had been replaced with dark green metal. Beside the house was a two-storey garage that had not been there before.

“He did a good job with it, didn’t he?” Chewie said.

“Ben did all this?” Hux asked.

“Well, he hired a company to put the addition on and build the garage, but he did the inside himself. You’ll see.” Chewie unwrapped a stick of gum and chomped down on it.

“Thank you for the ride,” Hux said, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Welcome. See you, Hux.”

Chewie backed the truck into the turnaround by the garage and then headed back toward the road. Hux watched him go, his stomach tightening with nerves. Taking a deep breath, he approached the house. The snow on the porch steps hadn’t been shoveled, and it was cold enough that it squeaked as Hux walked through it.

There was no button for a doorbell, so he rapped curtly on the glass front door. It had been plain wood when Hux had last walked through it. There were quite a few more windows now, he noted. He had always used to complain to Ben about how dark and dreary the cabin could be. Ben had said it saved on their heating bills, but Hux would have been willing to pay a few more dollars every month for a little sunshine.

There was no answer, so he knocked again. He shivered slightly as the wind blew. The bare branches of the trees above him creaked. Pressing the side of his hand to the glass, he peered inside. He couldn’t see much; the lights were off. It was possible Ben wasn’t at home. Hux cursed, thinking that it might have been a better decision to call ahead, but what he had told Han was true. He didn’t have Ben’s phone number.

As the wind died down again, he heard something from the direction of the garage. He thought it sounded like music. Going back down the steps, he made his way over to the side door of the garage and tried the knob. It turned, and the door swung open.

The music came through clearly. Hux almost laughed as he recognized the driving chords of The Sex Pistols’ “God Save the Queen.” It had once been one of his favorites. The song was punctuated by the hiss and snap of an acetylene torch. Hux could see the sparks hitting the concrete floor of the garage from around the side of a sizable piece of metal. Hux moved toward it cautiously, not wanting to get too close.

Rounding it, he saw the man wielding the torch. He was dressed in a ratty pair of jeans and steel toed boots. The henley he wore was torn in several places, the holes stretched across his broad shoulders and back. He had on a full mask to protect his face and eyes. He was facing away and was too focused on his work to see Hux.

A loud bark cut through the air, making Hux jump. He looked up to see a husky come padding across the floor toward him, its ears up and tail flagging. It moved a little stiffly, betraying its age, but it looked friendly enough, so Hux reached out a hand for it to sniff. It did so warily, but then pressed its head up into Hux’s palm. He patted it, rubbing at its ears.

“Aren’t you a handsome old man,” he said as he reached down to look at the tag that hung around its neck. It read: “Palpatine.” Hux’s stomach clenched.

“I have a surprise for you,” Ben had said as he stomped the snow from his boots one evening ten years before.

Hux had been in the kitchen of the cabin working on dinner. He hadn’t really been in the mood for any of Ben’s antics. They had fought that morning—again—about Hux’s college applications. Ben had told him more than once that it was too expensive and that he wouldn’t mortgage the house to send Hux to school for a few years just so he could get a job in Fairbanks and leave Arkanis. Hux had argued that it was what he wanted, that he wouldn’t get a job at the pumping station or the grocery store or the library like everyone else. He didn’t want to stay here forever.

“You know I hate surprises,” he had said, stirring the pasta once before going back to cut cucumbers for the salad.

“You’re going to like this one,” said Ben. He was carrying a box, it’s top open. “Come here and look.”

Hux had sighed and set down the knife.

Ben had put the box down on the kitchen table and reached inside. A little whimper came from the gray and white puff of fur he lifted out. “His name’s Palpatine.”

“What kind of name is that?” Hux asked, though he was already holding out his hands for the puppy. He was warm, and Hux could feel the quick beats of his heart. His eyes were ice blue.

“He’s registered with the Kennel Club, so they have to have unique names,” said Ben. “Lando picked it. Don’t ask me.”

“We can’t really call him that,” said Hux, touching the puppy’s downy ears. “Pal. We’re going to call you, Pal.”

“Told you you’d like the surprise.”

Hux glanced up at see Ben looking pleased with himself. “I never thought about having a dog, but it’s...all right.”

“I know, but look at him.”

Hux patted the puppy again. If it made Ben happy, he wasn’t about to tell him to give Pal back to Lando. “He’s a good dog. It’s a good surprise.” Hux stepped closer and kissed Ben, the puppy squirming between them.

He hadn’t been much bigger than he was then when Hux had packed a bag and left both Pal and Ben behind.

Hux pulled his hand back from Pal’s head, standing up straight again. The dog had other ideas, though, barking and jumping up as much as his old bones would allow him to. He had to be almost eleven years old, senior for a husky.

At the racket the dog was making, the figure with the welding torch stilled. The flame went out abruptly as he released the handle. He set it down as he turned toward Hux.

“Ah, hello,” said Hux. “I apologize for barging in. The door was open and, well...I’m looking for Ben Solo. Is he here?”

The man didn’t reply immediately, nor did he move. Johnny Rotten’s harsh vocals echoed around the garage as Hux waited. As the song ended, though, the man reached for his mask and lifted it over his head.

“Hi, Hux.”

His breath stuck in his lungs. He knew Ben’s face immediately, but that was the only thing about him that was the same. He had always been tall, but Hux was certain he had grown another couple of inches. There were ridges and hollows of muscle beneath his shirt that had not been there before. His dark hair, damp with sweat, was long enough to brush his shoulders and hide his overlarge ears. This was not the boy Hux had married at eighteen; this was a man he hardly recognized.

“Oh. It’s you.” Hux winced inwardly. There were things that would have sounded more foolish than that, but he could think of very few of them at that moment.

“Yeah,” said Ben, dropping the helmet on the ground next to the torch. “It’s you, too.” He took three long steps closer, affording Hux the opportunity to appreciate exactly how much taller and broader he had gotten. Pulling a rag from his back pocket, he wiped his hands. “What are you doing here, Hux?”

Managing to get a hold of himself, he said, “I’ve brought the papers.”

Ben’s brows drew together. “Papers?”

Hux’s temper flared. “The divorce papers that my lawyers sent to you last year that you returned unsigned. Twice.”

“Oh. Those papers.”

“Yes,” said Hux, clipped. “Since you didn’t see fit to take care of this before, I had no choice but to come here and get you to sign them.”

Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, you came for nothing then.”

Hux scowled at him. “Don’t do this. I do not have time to argue with you. I have a noon flight to catch tomorrow.”

“You came for one day?”

“I would have come for less had it been possible.” Setting his bag on the floor, he unzipped the side pocket and pulled out the folder there. He held it out to Ben. “There are three copies. One for me, one for you, and one for the lawyers. They even have these colored tabs so you know where to sign.”

Ben eyed the folder, but made no move to take it.

“I’m not asking you to do this,” said Hux. “I’m telling you. This should have been finalized years ago.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Jesus Christ, Ben. We’re not children anymore. Please don’t act like one.” He waved the folder. “Sign the papers and let me go home.”

“This _is_ home. Or did you forget that off wherever you’ve been?”

“No,” said Hux. “Not anymore. I have a life in New York, and I’m going back to it as soon as you sign the damn papers.”

“Why now?” Ben said.

“Because I’m flying out tomorrow at�—”

“No. Why do you want the divorce now?”

Hux wet his lips. It shouldn’t have been hard to say it, to tell Ben that he was getting married again, but the words wouldn’t come. “It’s...time.”

“Who is he?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Ben glowered. “You don’t think I have a right to know who my husband is leaving me for?”

“I’m not your husband,” Hux sighed. “I haven’t been for a long time.”

Ben looked at him for a long moment, his brown eyes searching, but then his expression hardened and he said, “I have to go.”

“What?” said Hux.

“You heard me,” said Ben, brushing past him. “I have somewhere I have to be.”

Grabbing his bag, Hux charged after him. “You can’t just leave. You need to sign these. Ben, stop.”

“I can’t do this right now. Come back...later.”

“Later? Absolutely not. You have to do this now. It will take thirty seconds.”

Ben sprang up the porch steps, Palpatine on his heels. “I have to read the papers.”

“You didn’t even _read_ them when I sent them before?” Hux said as they reached the front door.

“I read the title. That was all I needed to see.”

“All you needed to see to know you weren’t going to sign them?”

“That’s right.”

“For God’s sake, Ben. I told you I don’t have time to argue with you, and I don’t. I’m getting married in two months.”

That brought Ben up short. He rounded on Hux, his eyes flashing. “Sounds like you have two months worth of time, then.” Opening the front door, he went through. The glass rattled as he slammed it in Hux’s face.

Hux watched him disappear into the dark recesses of the house, too stunned to move from his spot in front of the door. It wasn’t any surprise that the first thing they had done was fight, but Hux hadn’t expected it to end with him standing out in the cold with the unsigned divorce papers in his right hand. He rubbed his left across his forehead. He considered pounding on the door until Ben relented and let him in, but he wasn’t one to underestimate the pigheadedness of a Solo. So, instead, he shouldered his bag and started down the driveway toward the road.

There was only one place Ben could be going on a Friday evening, and that was Calrissian’s, the one and only watering hole in Arkanis. It was in the center of town, nearly three miles away, though, and Hux had no car. It wasn’t an impossible walk, but he was exhausted from flying all day and from the altercation with his soon-to-be ex husband. He needed something to eat and a shower, not necessarily in that order. As luck would have it, there was a place only about a mile away where he could get both: the Millennium Hotel.

Hux was chilled to the bone, his fingers starting to tingle painfully, when he finally crossed the threshold in the lobby of the hotel. Arkanis was far from a tourist destination and hardly needed a hotel, even one that had only twenty-six rooms, but it was kept open by the pipeline inspectors who came through on a regular basis. It was clean and well kept, smelling faintly of lemon-scented carpet soap.

There was a young woman in a neat blue blouse and a khaki skirt standing behind the desk as he approached. The standard bright smile and greeting she offered him faded when he got close enough for her to see him properly.

“Hello, Rey,” he said.

“Hux,” said Rey Skywalker, Ben’s only cousin and his closest friend. Her father Luke owned and managed the hotel. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here.”

“In your hotel lobby?”

“In Arkanis,” she hissed. “After what you did.”

Hux pressed his lips into a thin line. “You mean leaving town?”

“You didn’t just leave town.” She gave him a hard look. “Do you even know what Ben went through? No, of course you don’t because you _ran away_.”

“I _went_ away,” he said. “I wasn’t running from anything.” He didn’t know why he was even having this conversation with her. He didn’t have to explain himself, especially not in the middle of the hotel at which he was trying to get a room for the night.

Rey leaned in. “You really believe that? Please. You ran off on Ben. You deserted him.”

Hux felt the familiar stab of pain at that, but Ben had refused to support him going to college, and Hux had had no other choice than to leave. Unwilling to argue with Rey, he said, “Are you telling me I can’t stay here?”

She stiffened, but turned to her computer monitor. “Is it just you?”

“Yes.”

“Let me see your ID.”

He passed her his New York driver’s license and his Visa card.

“Is a king bed okay, _Mr. Hux_?” Rey asked, placing a contemptuous emphasis on the surname. She had been there on the day he changed it to Solo and was apparently not about to let him forget it.

“That’s fine, yes.”

“Do you need a receipt?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay.” She reached behind her and pulled a key—a real key, not one of the magnetic cards most hotels used—from the box behind the desk. “You’re in 108 for one night. It’s just one night, right? Then you’re leaving.”

He nodded.

Sliding the key across to him, she said, “Good. He doesn’t need you here anymore.”

Hux took it and left her, though he was sure he could still feel her staring daggers into his back. When he had first met Rey, she was a skinny slip of a girl two years younger than he was. He had arrived in Arkanis in the middle of the school year and was dropped into what was roughly the equivalent of his level in England, eighth grade. Rey had slid into the seat next to him on the bus, held out her small hand, and told him her name.

Hux had been most surprised by her accent, which didn’t sound like the slow drawls the rest of the Americans had.

“I was born in London,” she had told him. “My dad brought me here a year ago when my mum died. You’re from England, too.”

“Leicester,” he had said.

“What are you doing here?”

“My father works for First Order Petroleum. They run—”

“The pipeline. I know. That’s cool. What’s your name?”

“Hux.”

“Nice to meet you, Hux.”

She had shown him to his homeroom class when they had gotten to the school building. Singular. There were few enough people in Arkanis that the elementary, middle, and high schools shared the same building.

Hux had made friends fairly quickly, much to his satisfaction, but Rey did not remain among them. At least not at first. She still waved to him whenever they were in the same part of the hall, but they didn’t bond over their shared birthplace as he and Phasma had many years later. However, as Hux had grown closer to Ben over the course of their first two years in high school, Rey’s friendship had come along with it.

Though they hadn’t spent their whole childhoods together, Ben and Rey were as close as siblings. She had been the amalgamation of best man and maid of honor when he and Hux were married. She had been sixteen then and still had her braces on. It hadn’t stopped her from smiling radiantly when her cousin said “I do” as Hux slid a ring onto his finger.

Absently, Hux rubbed his thumb against the underside of his left ring finger. He had done it often after he had left the gold band on his bedside table in the cabin, but the slight indentation where it had once sat had long since disappeared. When he was nervous, though, he still found himself doing it.

The key stuck a little in the door to room 108, but he got it open after a few turns and walked in. The lights were off, so he flicked them on. The room was nondescript, as most hotel rooms were, though instead of commercially produced, abstract art or prints of pastoral cottage scenes, there were framed photographs of the natural wonders of this part of the Alaska on the walls. In the corner of each one were the initials FF. Finn Fischer had been in Rey’s year in school, and had always been quite good with a camera. Hux was pleased to see that he was still taking pictures.

Tossing his bag onto the floor at the foot of the bed, Hux went immediately into the bathroom. He took a long, hot shower, shaved, and put on some clean clothes. The black slacks and emerald green button down shirt were far too much for Calrissian’s, but he hadn’t brought jeans or an appropriately shabby flannel pullover. He combed his hair and treated it with a bit of pomade before pulling on his shoes again.

Rey was thankfully gone from the desk when he walked back into the lobby, replaced by a older woman with bottle blond hair. “Have a good evening, sir,” she said as he passed.

He was already halfway to the bar when he realized he had left the divorce papers back in his room.

“Shit,” he muttered, tugging the collar of his coat tighter around his neck and preparing himself to face Ben again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely [coralshards](http://coralshard.tumblr.com/) drew this amazing drawing of Ben greeting Hux for the first time in ten years.


	2. Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun with ben's opinion about the whole situation! -- minze

## Ben

_  
“What. Are. You. Doing?”_

_“Stop fidgeting or I’ll drop you.” Ben tightened his grip around the hollows of Hux’s knees and his shoulders. “I’m trying to carry you over the threshold. What do you think I am doing?”_

_Hux’s face grew hot, and his freckles were clashing horribly with the red of his cheeks. He only started to move more, trying to weasel out of Ben’s grip. Ben huffed and stumbled, almost sending both of them to the ground._

_“We’ve been married for three weeks now. You didn’t attempt that at your parent’s house,” Hux complained, but stopped squirming when he noticed that Ben would let him fall down on his ass if he didn’t behave now._

_“Yeah, that wasn’t_ our _home. This is. So I’m going to do it properly. Now stay still and open the door for me, will you?” Ben really should work out more. He may have been tall but more muscle would be a nice asset. Probably. He should ask Hux if he wanted a more filled-out husband._

_Hux just sighed and reached out to open the door to the small cabin that once had belonged to Anakin Skywalker. He had built it with his own hands after he’d married Ben’s grandmother. Ben’s mother and his uncle had been born here. And now it was destined to become the home of Ben and Brennan Solo._

_The door opened and Ben carried Hux over the threshold but let him down as soon as they were standing in the living room. Ben looked at Hux’s face expectantly. He really needed his husband to like their new home. He deflated when he studied Hux’s face. Hux was making his ‘I-really-want-to-sneer-in-disgust-but-I-don’t-because-I-love-you’ face. Ben sighed and looked around in the small cabin. It really wasn’t very fancy. The living room was the biggest room with a small kitchenette. There was a cozy looking fireplace in one corner. A narrow hallway lead to a small bedroom which had an adjoining bathroom. There was a bit of furniture there, covered with dusty sheets. There were two big windows left and right of the front door that let in most of the sunlight, but the other walls were bare wooden beams. At least that would have on heating costs._

_“It’s—” Hux started but didn’t seem to know what to say._

_“I’m going to renovate it, don’t worry,” Ben said hastily. Hux turned to him, blinking in surprise. “It’s going to get bigger and um...more livable? Sure, my grandparents moved out of here as soon as they could, but I think that I can make it liveable. I really like this cabin. I-I was looking forward living here with you.”_

_Hux studied him for a few seconds, and then he smiled. The smile that he showed rarely and only for Ben. It lit up his whole face. Of course he was standing in the middle of a sunbeam that was filtering through one of the two big windows. It illuminated his red hair, making it look like he was on fire. Ben had once told Hux that he looked like he was kissed by fire. Like he was born in it, molded by it, emerged from it with fire-red hair and a fiery and passionate personality. Hux had turned red at that and had buried his face in his history textbook. He didn’t take compliments well. Especially from Ben, who liked to be very poetic about the love of his life._

_And now._

_Now he looked so beautiful again. Ben wanted to say something, anything, but he was just stunned into silence by the sheer beauty that was his husband._

_“That’s a nice idea, Ben,” Hux said. “But are you sure you can do it?”_

_Ben huffed and leaned forward to kiss Hux’s smirk off his face._

_“I can do anything for you,” he mumbled, burying his fingers in Hux’s red hair. Hux sighed and licked his lips. Ben pulled at his hair and Hux followed his lead, tipping his head back. Ben kissed his exposed throat and hummed._

_“How about going to check if the plumbing in the shower works?”_

_They were a bit sweaty from packing their belongings into Ben’s old truck and driving here._

_“Sounds lovely,” Hux breathed, though he grumbled when Ben lifted him up again, carrying bridal-style to the bathroom._

_“_ Honestly _, Ben,” he complained about being carried again. He did wrap his hands around Ben’s neck to stabilize himself, though. Ben grinned and opened the door to the small bathroom._

 

Ben snapped out of his thoughts, standing under the shower spray of the very shower of his memories. He groaned in misery and ducked his head under the water, trying to tune out the very real world that materialized in the form of his husband half an hour ago. Fucking _hell_. Ben felt so off-balance, he had to reach out and grab the wall in front of him. Tipping his head forward, he let the shower spray massage his neck and took a deep breath.

How dare he.

How dare he just show up after ten fucking years? And looking like _that_. Hair nowhere near shaggy, but neatly slicked back with pomade. God, he even could pull of _sideburns_. The longer hair was gone apparently, making way for a style that made that red hair even shinier.

Why did he still have to look so good? He had left Ben a decade ago, without a word. He just left his ring on the bedside table and fucking vanished. The universe was so unfair. It could have given him at least some scar or too much weight. But no; he still was the perfect looking creature that Ben fell in love with fifteen years ago.

Ben looked down between his legs, offended because his cock had decided to stir at the thought of his cowardly husband.

“Stop it,” Ben hissed at it.

Fucking Hux demanding a fucking divorce, so he could _marry_ someone else. Someone that wasn’t Ben.

Oh, well. _That_ thought let his erection die very quickly. He didn’t even have to turn on the cold water. (And he definitely didn’t think about how many years he’d spent on this plumbing, so one actually _could_ change between hot and cold.)

A year after Hux had fucked off, the first stack of divorce papers had fluttered into Ben’s mailbox. From _New York City_. Hux really had chosen the one city that was furthest away from Arkanis. Ben had thrown the envelope in the trash. Just like the other three envelopes that had followed. After that it had been blissful silence until last year when a new stack of papers came (from fancy-sounding law firm; there’d been fucking watermarks on the papers). Ben hadn’t read those either. But he honestly wouldn’t have thought that the other man would come over here personally. Cheeky little shit didn’t even tell him beforehand. Which was incredibly smart. Because if Ben would have known, he’d probably would have taken his long overdue vacation to the other side of the planet.

(“ _Don’t be such a coward, Ben. You can’t just alway run out of the cabin when we’re fighting. Come back. Hey, come BACK!”_ )

Enough of that now.

Ben wouldn’t sign those papers. Never. Hux had decided to marry _him_ and it would fucking stay like this. Why should Ben give in if Hux had been to one to be the coward and run away?

He could imagine what asshat Hux had chosen for himself. Probably the complete opposite ofBen.

( _”Ugh, don’t be so vulgar all the time, Ben. Jesus._ ”)

Ben wanted nothing more than to crawl in his bed and sob into his pillow. It _hurt_ to see Hux again. Ben did not want to deal with this. He didn’t want to, and he _couldn’t_. Hux had _left_ him. He had packed his things while Ben had been asleep after a nasty fight between them and had just _left _. He hadn’t even told Ben where he was going. He just had left the ring on his bedside table and left Ben to his own devices. He had thrown away two years of marriage and four years of their relationship because—__

Because—

Ben turned off the shower with a hard smack that rattled the tap. He was not going to think about that. Hux could go and rot in his fucking fancy metropolis, fuck some push boyfriend, and sew until his fingers bled.. Ben didn’t care. Hux could do anything except marry another guy. Ben would not relent. And he certainly wouldn’t talk to Hux again. Hux could fuck off right where he came from.

Ben stepped out of the shower and didn’t bother to blow-dry his hair. He would wear a hat and be in his truck anyway.

( _”You’re going to catch a cold, Ben. You can’t just go out there with wet hair. We’re in Alaska, you know._ ”)

After his body was halfway dry, he threw the damp towel on the floor, missing the hamper on purpose. He didn’t have the nerve to organize things. To be tidy. All he wanted was to smash this whole cabin and scream and put his head in the snow to calm down. But a look at the small duck-shaped clock on the tiny bathroom shelf told him that he already was late by fifteen minutes. Shit.

Ben walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom (now bigger and brighter, with additional windows, just like Hux had wished for) and looked for his stone-washed black jeans. He found them crumpled and half-stuck in the drawer of his closet. They weren’t _that_ dirty. They were good enough for Arkanis’s only watering hole. A black wifebeater, red and black plaid shirt, and a black vest followed. After putting on thick woolen socks that his mother had knit and given him for Christmas, he bolted out of the bedroom and slipped into his warm boots. A matching scarf for the socks and a beanie followed.

Palpatine was already scratching at the door, whining as if he knew exactly where they would be going. Ben grabbed his keys and walked out of the door without bothering to lock it (who would want to get in there? He had nothing valuable; his finished sculptures were always in storage in Fairbanks). He helped his precious senior dog on the passenger seat and slid over the icy driveway to the driver's side of the car.

“Let’s go then, Pal,” he said to the dog, and Palpatine barked, nudging the radio with his paw. He loved to howl with the music.

Ben turned on the radio and started his truck to get to Calrissian’s.

He parked right in front of it after a ten-minute drive, but didn’t get out of the car immediately. He was already late anyway, so leaning his head on the steering wheel and take a few deep breaths to calm down was perfectly fine. Probably. Whatever.

Everything was fine.

Hux would just go when Ben continued to ignore him. Or he should probably tell him that Hux would only get a divorce over his dead body.

His phone was vibrating furiously; probably Rey really starting to worry. Ben took a deep breath and got out of the car. He opened the passenger door and helped his old dog down.

“Good boy,” he told Pal. They didn’t take the main entrance to the bar but the back door that lead to the storage room and the other half of the house where the Calrissians were living.

“Knock, knock?” Ben yelled up the stairs. He could already hear whining and barking. Up the stairs, the wooden door to the big apartment opened, and Lando’s youngest daughter looked down. One of Pal’s great, great grandchildren was trying to shove her away to past to get down the stairs. Dogs weren’t allowed _in_ the bar, but Ben always brought Pal over so he could play with his enormous dog family. He gave Pal a tap on his back, and the dog scrambled up the stairs as fast as he could (which was impressive considering his age).

“I’ll be here a few hours,” Ben said to the teenager. She just nodded, already looking at her phone.

“Sure. Have fun, Benny,” she said and closed the door. Ben turned around and ducked around old, tall shelves full of alcohol and reappeared behind the actual bar counter. Lando chased him away when he tried to sneak out with a beer.

“Don’t you dare, Benny,” he said “You better go over there. Our Rey of sunshine looks like she is going to have a breakdown soon. You _are_ rather late, aren’t you, lad?” Lando reached over the counter to give Ben the beer he had attempted to make off with. He waved his hand and rolled his eyes when Ben tried to pay for it and just gestured in the direction of the pool tables.

Right.

Rey. And Finn. Waiting.

He slowly walked over to them, greeted by every single person in the bar. Everyone knew him and he knew everyone. Ben had been coming to this establishment before he had even been _able_ to. He had just been strapped to Han Solo’s chest.

When he eventually reached Finn and Rey’s pool table, Rey punched him in the side and poked his thigh with her cue.

“My god, Benny. I thought you’d be lying under your table, piss drunk, because—” She broke off and looked away.

Ben took a sip of his beer and shrugged. “Yes, he’s here. I know. He came to the cabin,” he told them as calmly as he could. Finn clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a third cue.

Rey looked at him hesitantly. “Are you all right?”

“Finn, c’mon start a new game. I want to kick both of your asses,” Ben told Finn before lookingat his cousin. “I’m fine. I wouldn’t. Drink. That…I am above that. Don’t worry. We just had a little talk. And then he left. Nothing happened. I’m fine.” When Rey looked at him skeptically, he added, “I really am.”

(He hadn’t been ten years ago when she had knocked on the door of the cabin one day and found him lying on Hux’s side of the bed, drunk and dirty. It had been his usual state for almost a year. If it hadn’t been for Rey, it might still be.)

He grinned at her, taking a swig from his beer. Finn had brought the balls in order again, and Ben leaned over the table, aiming his cue for the cue ball. He reached back, concentrating on the cue and the ball. He started the game with two balls neatly pocketed, but Rey wouldn’t let him concentrate fully on the game, always looking at him and asking if he really was all right. He missed his last shot, though, when she asked him if he knew that Hux checked into the Millennium Hotel.

Ben had foolishly hoped that Hux would just go, trying to get things sorted out via his lawyers again.

“For how long?” he asked, staring at his cue but not really seeing the table or the balls in front of him.

“For one night, only. He did have a larger bag, though,” Rey said, not being very helpful.

“Oh, I’m sure, he’ll fuck off tomorrow. Because I won’t sign shit and he can fly right back to his _boyfriend_ and stay married to me for fucking ever,” he sneered and glared at his beer, which was empty.

“Isn’t that a bit immature?” Finn asked, innocently as ever. “I mean, it’s been ten years. And he seems to like the guy. Just move on. You’ve been hurting for a decade now, Benny. I know you’ve been. You can’t just pine after a guy who left you. I mean, he probably isn’t worth it. You’re better than that.”

Huh.

“Also, there’s not just Hux, you know. You’re wasting your life because of this. Just let go and maybe both of you can be happy again.” Finn smiled his nice smile, eyes shining. Honest as always and didn’t even mean it in a bad way. He genuinely wanted Ben to be happy. Ben knew that. And yet...

There was always Hux. It always _had been_ Hux. It had been Hux since the first day of school, when Ben had listened to the ginger kid in front of him complain how different it was here in Arkanis, compared to some fancy town in England. Ben had fallen in love with his voice and his flaming hair right away. And when the boy had turned around and had sneered at him (“Your Discman is unnecessarily loud, you know?”) Ben had been sold. It had taken him almost two years until he had managed to convince Hux that they were the perfect match.

Finn opened his mouth to say something else, probably how it wasn’t worth it, how Ben could try to start dating again after ten years. Jessika Pava, for example, seemed to be interested in him (he had told Ben for weeks now) but he never got to say _that_. Instead, he said, “Well, speak of the devil.” He looked into the direction of the front door.

Ben didn’t need to turn around to know who had just come in. Literally every conversation had stopped, only to be continued in hushed and excited voices. Ben wanted to break his cue in two and ram the sharp end into something.

Finn looked at him and then over his shoulder again. “I’ll get us another round,” he told him and then he was off to the bar.

Ben couldn’t help it; he turned around and scoffed when he saw what Hux was wearing. Coming to the only bar in town in slacks and a green dress shirt (that definitely didn’t compliment the green of his eyes). Ben’s gaz stopped at Hux’s perfectly slicked back hair. He sneered when he thought back to Hux complaining about Ben’s side of the small bathroom cabinet in the cabin and Ben’s _ridiculous amount of hair products_ spilling over on Hux’s side.

Look whose hair was dripping with product now.

Finn greeted Hux with a pat on the shoulder and an awkward one-armed hug that Hux barely returned.

Ass.

Ben looked around and saw that every other patron in the bar was staring at Hux and then at him and then back at Hux again. They didn’t even try to hide their curiosity. Ben knew that tomorrow everyone in this fucking small town would know that Hux was back in Arkanis again. Surely, the gossip factory would work overtime from now on. Come tomorrow, probably countless neighbors would knock at his door with some lame excuse only to see if Hux was with him or to interrogate him about their relationship.

Oh joy.

Hux and Ben had been _the_ sensation of the last hundred years when they became the first gay couple to marry in Arkanis. Nobody had thought that it would actually work out between the uptight Brennan Hux, son of one of the bosses of the pipeline, and Benjamin Solo, son of almost-mayor (back then) Leia Organa. Ben was sure that most of them had sneered. Not because they were two men, but because they had been barely eighteen when they had married. He briefly wondered how many bets had been won when Hux left him after only two years.

Nobody knew why Hux had left him, not even Ben’s family and friends. Ben liked to pretend that he didn’t know either. He’d heard rumors about their break-up, though. The most laughable had been domestic violence. Ben had no idea why some people had thought that Ben had beaten Hux. Just because he was taller and bigger than the other man? Yes, Ben had anger problems; he had already had them as a kid, and the police had first caught him destroying public property when he’d been barely fourteen. Yes, Ben also had beaten up some bullies during his high school career (he’d broken the arm and three fingers of that one guy that had dared to call Hux ‘twink’). But Ben would never lay a hand on Hux. Never. Even now. Even after everything Hux had done to him; after leaving him.

“Are you going to play or are you going to stare at your husband’s ass forever?” Rey asked him snidely and poked his ribs with her cue. Ben came back to himself and rubbed at the sore spot on his chest. “I mean, he does have a nice ass, but sadly he is an ass, too,” she continued. Ben wanted to say something, anything, but all that he could manage was a grunt.

She _was_ right after all.

It took a significant amount of willpower to pry his eyes away from Hux. He looked into the big, worried eyes of his cousin and managed a smile.

“Okay, let’s finish this. I’m going to kick your ass,” he told her and sat down on a random bar stool, watching Rey pocketing her balls with ease. She was at her fourth ball in a row when Finn returned, three new and cold beers in hand. Ben grabbed the one Finn held out for him.

“Do me a favor and take over for me?” he asked Finn, who looked like he wanted to tell Ben exactly what he’d been talking about with Hux. “I need a break from her kicking my ass.”

Finn sighed, but nodded and took over for him (to continue getting beaten by Rey).

Ben nursed his beer for a while, watching Rey and Finn spicing up the match with ridiculous rules and trying to ignore Hux, who was still sitting at the bar, drinking some stupid cocktail that Lando probably hadn’t made in two decades. Hux, who was talking to everyone, because everyone came to him and started talking to him as if he were still a respectable inhabitant of Arkanis; as if he were still living here, being ~~happily~~ married to Ben.

Traitors. All of them.

Ben was contemplating getting another round, but Hux was _still_ at the bar, so Ben certainly wouldn’t go there. The final decision was made for him when Lando came by with a tray full of fancy-looking cocktails. Well, not that fancy, but every cocktail was fancy in Ben’s eyes.

He took one glass and sniffed at it. Gin.

“From a secret admirer,” Lando said, deadpan. Ben stopped in the middle of sipping at it. He looked over Lando’s shoulder and met the gaze of his husband. Why would Hux send three drinks to them? Unfortunately, the drink had already touched his tongue, and it tasted wonderful. So Ben swallowed his pride, looked away from Hux and let his beer get warm, favoring the cocktail.

“A friggin’ Tom Collins,” Lando muttered under his breath when he walked around the pool table to bring the cocktails to Finn and Rey. “Kid was always a bit snobby.”

Ben almost snorted out his drink when a slim hand touched his shoulder.

“I knew you’d like the drink.”

Smug. Bastard.

Ben breathed out a heavy sigh and ignored the urge to place his large hand on the smaller one. Instead, he shrugged and brushed off Hux’s hand with the movement. He sipped his drink and watched Hux leaning against the pool table to comment on Finn and Rey’s game.

“Still kicking their asses, I see,” Hux said to Rey, who gave him the middle finger in return. Ben had never loved his cousin more. She continued to ignore Hux, pocketing the black ball with a flourish.

Finn pouted, but was all smiles after a second, thanking Hux for the drink. Rey moved over to Ben, standing in front of him protectively. It should have been hilarious because she was so small and yet trying to cover his massive frame, but Ben was touched and put his hand on her hip, squeezing slightly to tell her that he was okay. Really. He was. Hux hadn’t shoved some new divorce papers under his nose or talked to him about his _boyfriend_. Hux was actually having a serious discussion with Finn about photography. When Ben closed his eyes, he could easily pretend it was twelve years ago, all of them celebrating Rey’s sweet sixteenth in Uncle Luke’s garage and playing pool.

“Benny,” said Rey, drawing his attention back to her. “You want to hear about the plans for the festival? Dad’s got some big plans this year.”

“Sure,” Ben said, though he couldn’t help but watch Hux out of the corner of his eye.

Apparently Luke’s idea for promoting the hotel at this year’s Spring Festival was giving out his gross, parched, and stone-hard butter cookies. Ben still had the suspicion that Luke only gave out one-week old cookies and saved the best for himself. He did have crumbs in his beard sometimes.

As Rey went into more detail about the craft booths Luke was sponsoring—there was a rumor he was trying to woo the widow Kanata, who made the best knit hats in town—Hux kept the cocktails coming. Lando grumbled and complained that he would be out of gin soon and that Hux paying way too much. Ben had caught him shoving bills into Lando’s jacket and telling him not to be so grumpy.

Ben tried to concentrate on his chat with Rey, he really did. But it was _Hux_ in his immediate vicinity. Ben was so sure that he caught a whiff of Hux’s aftershave whenever the other man was _moving_ , raising his arms, tipping his head, placing his perfect ass on the edge of the pool table.

It was so strange seeing Hux here in this bar, next to him, talking to Finn. But it was also somewhat irritating. Because Hux wasn’t here for Ben. He didn’t come back for him. He came back so Ben would sign the divorce papers. Sign them, so Hux could ride into the sunset with his new boyfriend.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize that Hux and Finn were looking at him, and apparently talking to him.

“Ben? Ben, we’ve asked you something….Ben? _Ren!_ ”

Ben snapped out of his reverie. He was always alert when Hux used _that_ name.

( _“Your signature on the marriage certificate looks like_ Ren _. How sweaty were your palms, Ben? Am I married to ‘Ren’ now?”_

 _"Are you making fun of me? It clearly says Ben. Oh my god, you_ are _laughing. Excuse me for being a bit nervous about marrying to the love of my life.”_

“Careful, Ren _. That sounds rather sappy. I’m going to use ‘Ren’ from now on when I need your attention. You_ are _a rather dreamy one."_

_“Am not."_

_“Are.”_

_“Only when you’re close to me."_ )

“What?” Ben asked.

Hux smirked at him. “We were just talking about your disastrous darts skills. Did you get any better during the last decade?” Despite the insult, Hux’s tone was playful and so like that he had teased Ben with all those years ago.

Ben couldn’t resist. “You can bet your small ass that I am the fucking champion in this bar,” he said, a bit overconfident, like always. (Always, always trying to impress Hux.)

“Are you now?” Hux asked, making his way to the wall where the dartboard was hanging. “I kind of doubt that. But let’s find out.”

“Yeah, let’s do this,” Ben murmured, ignoring his cousin’s worried gaze and following Hux into the rather poorly illuminated corner of the bar.

Hux didn’t even ask if Ben would like to start. He just took the darts, placed himself behind the line on the floor and started to throw very precisely, as always. Ben didn’t even watch the dartboard; he looked at Hux’s delicate wrist and the thin but strong fingers wrapped around the darts.

Ben wanted to feel them on his skin; he wanted to feel if there were slight callouses from gripping a pen or a pencil on his fingers. He wanted to know if Hux still wore that slight frown between his pale eyebrows when he was doodling.

( _“It’s not doodling, Ben. I’m trying to find out how these fashion illustrations work.”_

 _“You bought these ridiculously expensive pencils without even knowing how they_ work _?”_

 _“Yeah, well. It’s not like I can take a_ class _.”)_

“Your turn,” Hux said.

Ben blinked, taking the darts from Hux. Their fingers didn’t touch. Ben couldn’t say if that was intentional or not. He swallowed down his disappointment at not having touched Hux’s light and freckled skin, even for a nanosecond, and threw the darts, trying to catch up to Hux’s already impressive score.

“Not bad,” said Hux as he approached the board to retrieve the darts Ben had thrown. He had managed to get two in the fifteen space and one in eighteen. It wasn’t the strongest opening, but it put some points on the board.

“I wasn’t _that_ terrible before,” Ben said.

Hux cocked a brow. “Really believe that, do you?”

Ben watched as he threw the next round, hitting the bullseye once and closing out his three points on nineteen. Damn, he still was far better than Ben was.

“We always used to sit on that bench, right?” Hux asked after another round.

Ben looked where Hux was looking. The old bench with an even older table didn’t really fit into the whole concept of the bar. They had been there since before Lando had bought the old house and the bar with it. He had replaced everything but that one odd set. Nobody liked to sit there because the cold air blew across it whenever the front door of the bar opened. But it was also partially hidden and thereby private, so Ben and Hux had claimed it as their table as soon as Lando had allowed them into the bar when they were eighteen. He hadn’t served them anything stronger than Coke, of course. After a while they had taken to carrying a thick blanket with them, wrapping it around themselves as they drank their soda and just grinned at each other, basking in the glow of their young marriage.

“Yeah, we did,” Ben replied, staring at the darts and back at the corner again. Nobody was sitting over there. Of course not. It was still cold after all and the old fireplace was too far away. Ben threw his last dart, missing the target by inches.

“Remember when your father tried to sit down with us, and you threatened him to punch him in the face if he didn’t leave that very second? How long did he sulk? A day?” Hux grinned, arms crossed and still looking at that damned corner.

“Three days. My mother came by and ordered me to go and apologize. Don’t you remember that?” Ben asked, walking to the dartboard and plucking the darts out of it. He held them out to his husband, but Hux wasn’t even looking at him. He was still staring at the bench.

“Huh? I don’t remember that. Did she really come by?” Hux asked, finally looking back at him. His eyes looked so soft.

Ben bit his lower lip and shook his hand, trying to call Hux’s attention back to the darts. “Yes,” he said gruffly. “You probably weren’t at home. I guess that was the time you were sneaking off to that community college.” He couldn’t help the slight sneer on his face when he said that. He’d been _so angry_ when he found out that Hux had used the money that Ben had carefully laid aside for some bullshit drawing courses. _God_ , he’d been furious. He had wanted to use the money for a deposit for a small annex (banishing the kitchenette and building a real kitchen). But thanks to his dear husband, Ben’s plans had been nullified and—

“Right. I think we’re done here. I’ve won.” The softness was gone from his eyes. Ben looked back to the board; three darts were dead center. “I need a another drink.” Hux left the darts where they were and walked over to the pool table again. He ordered another round of cocktails with an impatient hand gesture that made Lando frown.

“Why, that went well,” Ben muttered under his breath and sulked a bit in the corner. Clearly he was in the fucking Twilight zone. This whole situation was strange and irritating and he probably should have gotten Pal and gone home. And slept. And definitely not on Hux’s side of the bed.

He looked sullenly over at the pool table,where Hux was still standing, not making any attempt to leave any time soon. But the stubborn streak that Ben had inherited from his mother showed itself.

Why should Ben leave? That was _his_ fucking bar. _He_ was the one who’d been here almost every evening for the past nine years. It didn’t matter that Hux was here. Hux was a _stranger_ here. A stranger who was chatting with _Ben’s_ friends.

Ben sighed and made a beeline for the bar, sitting down on the last free chair. Lando handed him his favorite beer without saying anything, and Ben ordered the Mrs.-special. A burger with the best fries on the whole continent. It was rather late and Ben would probably regret it later, when he would be lying in the bathroom with a stomach ache.

But for now it seemed like a pretty good idea.

He enjoyed two beers and his burger in silence, watching Bro Science YouTube videos on his smartphone. He almost managed to forget that Hux was here, too. Almost. Rey came by every ten minutes, feigning interest in the menu but checking on Ben all the same.

“You can talk to him, you know,” Ben said, when she came to his side for the third time. “You were friends once, too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Benny. We weren’t _that_ close.” Rey grinned, stealing some of his beer and looking down at his phone, chuckling when she realized what he was watching. She stayed with him then, successfully distracting him from the rather loud pool match behind the both of them. She asked him about his latest sculpture;if the rumors really were true and the next town over wanted to buy it for a quite high price.

Ben perked up after another half an hour when Hux’s voice drifted through the bar, telling Lando that he should be happy that he was paying him so much. Ben knew Hux was drunk when he became a rude, arrogant snob. Before Hux actually managed to get himself thrown out, Ben stepped in and grinned at Lando, telling him that he could stop bringing over the cocktails.

“Keep your husband in check, Benny,” Lando said, both playful and serious, but then turned away to get behind the bar again.

“Ah, Benny.” Hux grinned at him, almost squinting up at Ben’s face. “I feel rather good. Do you know when I last felt like this?” He grabbed Ben’s biceps, and goose bumps spread all over Ben’s body. Hux swayed and Ben’s hands shot out to stabilize him, his hands on Hux’s hips. It was the first time in ten years Ben had held him. Hux’s body hadn’t changed in the slightest. It still felt the same under Ben’s fingers.

When Ben didn’t answer Hux’s question, Hux rolled his eyes and leaned in.

“On our last camping trip. Do you remember that?” Hux asked him and then turned to Finn and Rey. Half of the bar that was already listening because Hux wasn’t using his indoor voice. “I was _so_ drunk. It was because of your damned Vodka-E mix, Ben, I swear. Remember how horny I was?”

Ben could feel the tips of his ears go red and he started to steer Hux into the direction of the door. Maybe that would shut Hux up. But Hux didn’t even seem to realize that they were moving at all. He just grinned and continued.

“Remember when I was all over you in that tent? The tent had _holes_ because you hadn’t checked it before we went. I wanted to crawl in Finn’s tent instead. At least it was in one piece.. Anyway...” Hux started to laugh. “Remember how I wanted to kiss you but then the whole world swept sideways and I threw up all over you? That was so funny.”

Now Hux was cackling, and Ben could feel the heat spreading over his cheeks.

“And then—” Hux breathed a laugh, grinning wide while Ben wrestled his arms into his (way too thin) coat. “And then you ran out of the tent _naked_ and jumped into the lake. Oh my god. Do you remember that, guys?” Hux asked, staring over to Rey, who was rolling her eyes, and Finn, who was awkwardly staring at his pool cue.

Ben buttoned up Hux’s coat, his fingers brushing Hux’s neck when he adjusted Hux’s collar.

“I think you need a bit of sleep, Brennan,” Ben told him and grabbed his own coat. “Bye, guys. I’ll call you later, or tomorrow, or...whatever.” He wrapped his arm around Hux when the other man started to sway dangerously again. When they passed the bar, Lando raised an eyebrow at the sight of both of them. He picked up his phone to tell his wife that she should bring down Palpatine.

“You’re not driving, are you, Benny?” he asked, concerned. He was looking at Hux who was still grinning and being very good at being the world’s heaviest human. Ben had trouble holding him tight _without_ holding him tight. Hux’s closeness was distracting enough. His body heat was seeping through his thin coat and now that he was next to Ben, Ben really could smell his aftershave. Palpatine came bolting through the door, barking when he saw Ben and jumping up and down. He always seemed five years younger after he played with the other dogs..

“No, of course not,” Ben said to Lando “I’ll go and get the truck tomorrow. Can you park it behind the house later?” Lando just nodded and took the keys.

“Good luck bringing him home.” He nodded at Hux, who was on his knees by now, cooing at Palpatine, who in return was licking Hux’s face enthusiastically. Sober Hux would have never allowed that.

Ben dragged Hux up again, calling for Palpatine so the dog would follow them and left the bar (with everyone watching, burning holes into their backs).

Ben looked at his truck wistfully (he never would have drunk so much if it weren’t for Hux) and then turned to the left with Hux in tow who was still talking. The hotel wasn’t that far away. Thankfully. Because Ben didn’t know how long he could refrain from shoving Hux face first into the snow, or kissing him. Both urges were strong.

“....and the air is so _clear_. And the sky. Look at the sky, Benny,” Hux was babbling, looking up and arching his back so strongly that he would have fallen backwards if it weren’t for Ben’s hand on his back. “In New York it’s always so bright. The lights never go out, you know. Not like here. Why is it so dark anyway? Saving power and turning off all street lights after one AM?”

Ben didn’t answer him; he just pushed Hux along, sighing in relief when the hotel came in sight at the end of the main street.

“Do you remember the midnight strolls we used to take around Christmas? It was our tradition wasn’t it?”

Hux, no. Why was he wallowing in memories? Why was he doing this to Ben?

“Why are you _here?_ ” It broke out of Ben before he could stop it, and he sounded _hurt_. He knew it and Hux definitely knew that too. Because he looked at Ben, blinking and acting a lot more sober all of a sudden.

“To get the divorce,” he answered. Ben didn’t understand how his heart could break again, and again, and _again_ , but it did.

“Then _why_ the fuck are you dragging up long gone memories of when we were happy? Or rather, when _I_ was happy. Because _you_ weren't," he punched his fist into the door, startling Hux, who looked back at him over his shoulder. He didn’t look drunk anymore.

"No, I wasn't. Because you wouldn't let me go to --"

“We didn’t have the money for you to actually go to school for another four years,” Ben roared. God, how did Hux manage to get him riled up so fast?

Hux didn’t even flinch when Ben practically yelled at him. His gaze was cool.

“Oh, we did have money, Ben. We had enough money to pursue _your_ dreams. But not _mine_.”

And with that he closed the door with a loud slam. Ben blinked at the wood.

That was not true. And not fair. Ben had wanted to make their home better first; he’d wanted to provide for his husband. He never forbade Hux going to college. He’d just wanted to earn some money first. But Hux had been so _insistent_ on doing everything _immediately_ .

Ben heaved a sigh and turned away. He had to go home and sleep.

Ben left the hotel with a dreadful feeling in his stomach and not even Palpatine’s happy barking could cheer him up when he collected him from the lobby.

“C’mon. We’re going home,” he told the old dog, breathing in deeply when they stepped out of the hotel. He stopped short when he could see his truck parked in front of the hotel.

Huh.

The passenger door’s window went down and revealed Han Solo.

“Dad,” Ben said, surprised, and walked over to the car. “Did Lando call you? I could have walked to the cabin myself, you know.”

“Get in, son,” was all Han said, and Ben scrambled into the car, squeezing Pal on the floor between his legs.

Ben’s own music greeted him; his dad had turned on the iPod that always lay in the truck. Han waited until Ben buckled up and then drove onto the main street.

“You don’t have to do this,” Ben mumbled, mind still reeling from his fight with Hux.

“Nah, it’s all right. I’ll just crash on you couch if that’s all right, Benny. Your mom threw me out again. I need a place to stay for the night.” Han winked at him. Ben knew that this was probably bullshit. The last time Leia actually had thrown Han out of their house must have been over twenty years ago. It was more likely that she told him to stay with Ben because Lando probably spilled that Ben was trying to get his drunk husband back to the hotel.

Ben kind of liked the idea that his parents thought he shouldn’t be alone tonight, so he didn’t call his father out on his obvious lie and just shrugged.

“It’d be great if you could drive me to the airfield tomorrow, though. I can get a ride back with Chewie tomorrow evening,” Han continued, driving across the slightly slippery road with ease. Ben remembered the driving lessons Han had given him years ago. How Ben had wanted to give up because Han had insisted Ben would have to learn how to drive with half a snow storm going on.

“Yeah, sure. I can do that. I have to leave town tomorrow for business anyway. Thanks for driving me, Dad.”

Han just smiled and then concentrated on the road again. Ben stared out of the window, musing about how fucked up his life have gotten during the last twelve hours. Again. He didn’t want this. None of this. For years, he had wished for Hux to come back. He’d pined after him. He even traveled to New York that one time. No. Not going there. Not thinking about that.

“So….Brenn, huh?” Han asked after a few minutes of driving, and Ben pressed his forehead against the cold window and closed his eyes.

“Dad….please don’t…” he mumbled.

“Oh, okay. Yeah. Sure thing, kid. Sorry.”

Han didn’t try to talk to him again, and Ben appreciated it. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed and sleep. Forever. That would be nice.

He nodded off to Han humming along an AC/DC song and manoeuvring the truck through the streets to the cabin.

He whined when the engine stopped, and Han shook him gently.

“Wanna sleep,” he slurred and his dad sighed fondly and got around the car to open the door and half-carry his son up to the cabin. Ben was almost asleep again when his head hit the pillow. He was barely aware of Han getting him out of his shoes and pulling the blanket over him. There was a hand in his hair, brushing away the strands from his forehead.

“You’ve got this, Benny. He wouldn’t have come personally if he didn’t want to see you again.” His father said from far, far away. Ben was probably dreaming it.

* * *

_  
He woke to the feeling of lips kissing every inch of his face. Opening his eyes groggily, he was confronted with the beautiful face of his husband, hair damp and face glowing. He was freshly showered and radiating happiness._

_“Good morning, husband,” he said to Ben, kissing his nose, and Ben sighed happily._

_“Good morning, husband,” Ben replied and moved a bit, propping up on his elbows to catch Hux’s lips with his. He didn’t get far because of the slight ache shooting through his body._

_“Ugh,” he mumbled, looking behind his back and glaring at his ass._

_Hux snorted and placed a hand on one cheek, stroking over the skin soothingly._

_“Rough night?” he grinned, kissing Ben again. Ben sighed into the kiss._

_“No, just my wedding night,” he breathed against Hux’s lips. “My husband fucked me for the first time. Excuse me if I’m a bit sore.”_

_“Did he now?” Hux asked, wrapping his hands around Ben’s neck and lying down on his back, taking Ben with him. “Was he any good?”_

_“Hmhm…” Ben hummed, pressing his chest to Hux’s and kissing his chin, leaving a soft trail along his jaw. “He was perfect. Do you think I could kindly repay him?”_

_Hux arched his back when Ben’s hands brushed over his nipples, stroking down._

_“Yes….”_

_Ben smiled at him and Hux smiled back. Ben knew that this soft moment would be branded into his memory forever._

 

Ben woke up slightly hungover and to the smell of bacon. Pal was nowhere to be seen in his bedroom, but he could hear his barking and Han’s laughter. So his dad really did crash on the couch then. Because he and Leia were worried about him.

Right.

Hux.

Ben groaned into his pillow and refused to think about Hux or how badly the night had ended.

( _“Why are you always fighting me, Ben?_ Why _? I can’t do this anymore. Why don’t you_ understand? _”_ )

After a quick shower and a bit of pondering if he just should sign those damned papers so Hux would just _leave_ again. And Ben could live his life….being single. And not married.

His gut churned when he thought about actually divorcing Hux.

Ben didn’t want to. He’d _promised_ Hux. Always and forever. That he wouldn’t leave his side.

(But Hux did.)

Ben looked for his nicer pair of pants and shirt. He even put on one of his three cashmere sweaters. He did have a business meeting after all. But he would never wear a suit. He did that once, at his wedding, and look where it got him.

Alone.

“Looking good, kid,” Han greeted him when Ben came out of the bedroom. Han gave him a once over and smirked when he saw that his son had even tamed his hair.

“Did you straighten your hair?” Han asked, amused, and Ben glared at him.

“No,” he huffed and sat down on the chair. “How’s your back? I’ve been meaning to get a new sofa for a while now.”

Han filled a cup of coffee for him and sat down next to Ben. He had an enormous amount of bacon on his plate that he probably wouldn’t be allowed to eat if Leia was here. But she wasn’t, and so Han dug in with glee in his eyes. They talked about Han’s flights for today and Ben’s meeting with a big neighborhood library that wanted to have a very specific statute of the library’s founder. Ben saw the glances Han gave him every now and then, clearly refraining from asking about Hux and what the actual matter was.

When it was eight, Ben stood up.

“I have to go now. You’re cool with getting to the airfield a bit earlier?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

Ben nodded and told his dad to leave the dishes; he’d do them in the evening.

“C’mon, Pal. We’re going for a long walk after I’m finished with that meeting,” Ben told his old dog. He and Han got their coats and Ben drove his dad to the airfield. Before Han got out of the car, he reached over to pull Ben into a bear hug. Ben endured it and nodded when Han told him that he should come by for dinner. Maybe tomorrow after the Spring Festival.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben mumbled. “Or we could just all eat something at the dance after.”

“Or that, yes,” Han huffed, and Ben was glad when he let go. “See you around, Benny.”

“Bye, Dad.”

Han gave Pal a last scratch behind his ears and closed the door. Ben drove off, managing to banish all thoughts of Hux and concentrating on thoughts about the meeting at ten.

(They loved his ideas. And they would give him much more money than he’d initially thought. His business had really gotten underway.)

* * *

It was after nine in the evening when he finally made it home again. The meeting took longer than anticipated and then Pal had absolutely refused to leave the fun dog park. After their long walk, Ben had been hungry and it had taken ages to find a restaurant that allowed dogs. Then he’d finally reached Arkanis again.

He just had wanted to buy some groceries from Maz’s store and then retire for the day. Unfortunately, Maz herself was behind at the cash register and sweet talked him into helping to put up the booth for the Spring Festival. One booth turned into two, turned into three, turned into four. And the whole time, Maz was ordering him and a few other poor souls around and tried to interrogate Ben, asking him if he was back together with Hux or if he was officially single now. Because Jessika, her grandniece, was such a nice and sweet girl. And didn’t they go to school together?

So, Ben’s mood wasn’t the best when he finally reached his home. He wanted to lie down, feet up, drink a few beers and watch TV.

The first thing he noticed when he opened the front door was that it was impossibly bright. He didn’t have that many lamps, but now he had to blink against stark light. The second thing he noticed was the mouth-watering smell floating through the whole cabin. And the third thing was _all of the fucking furniture being swapped_.

Everything had changed. There wasn’t one piece of his old furniture.

“What the fuck,” Ben asked. Did he pass out at the market? Was he lying between the booths and dreaming?

He must have been dreaming. Because suddenly _Hux_ came out of the kitchen, his hair falling into his face artfully. He was wearing grey cord slacks and a white woolen sweater. He was wearing a floral apron and carrying a tray laden with a delicious looking roast.

“Oh, gee. You’re home early, my darling husband. I’m glad I started cooking earlier. Come on, the table is ready.”

Ben was so stunned that he followed Hux to the back of the cabin where a beautiful dining table with antique chairs was standing now. The table was artfully decorated and loaded with all of Ben’s favorite foods.

“Did you work hard today? I am _so_ proud of you. Providing for both of us. What would I do without you? Certainly not get along with life. Sit, sit, my sweet husband.” He tugged at Ben’s coat and brought it over to the coat rack once Ben had taken it off. Ben sat down, still irritated. He sniffed at a bowl closest to him. Hux had always been a good cook but this smelled and looked phenomenal.

Hux came back, humming to himself.

“I hope your day was good, my darling. I spent so much time, renovating and cooking,” Hux said in a sweet voice, piling food on Ben’s plate. “That’s what you wanted, right? Your perfect little housewife.”

That was when the penny slowly dropped.

“That again?” Ben asked, not touching the food. Hux was still smiling sweetly. Too sweet. It didn’t suit him. Not at all. “Are you mocking me? Where the fuck did you get all this stuff from? Don’t you have anything better to do than using your money to play this stupid prank?”

Now, Hux smiled even wider and there was a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“Oh, but _darling_. What is _my_ money you’re talking about? I used _our_ money of course. Come on, eat, eat. I was standing in the kitchen for hours.”

He shoved the plate to Ben, taking a forkful of mashed potatoes and attempting to feed Ben. Ben swatted his hand away.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked, and Hux laughed. It sounded horribly saccharine.

“Imagine my surprise, Benny,” he started, his voice sounding normal again. “When I went to the bank to withdraw some money, because Rey was so helpful in telling me that she couldn’t take my credit card and needed cash. And Finn, our good friend Finn, asked me if I wanted to withdraw it from our _joint_ account. You know, the one we opened when we got married. I still have access to that.” Hux smirked and let that hang in the air for a while. Ben stiffened. He looked around the main room again, taking in the new and _expensive_ furniture.

“Oh, and I thought we could use a whole new kitchen, too. What with you always being hungry and my duty to cook for you,” Hux added smugly. Ben jumped up, walking over to the kitchen. He kicked open the door and groaned. His ancient and old-fashioned kitchen (when he had built the annex, he hadn’t bothered to buy new appliances) was gone. Instead a shiny and sleek, modern kitchen greeted him. Everything was new. And looked expensive.

“Hux, what the _fuck?_ ” he exploded, yelling at his husband. “How much of _my_ money did you spend?”

Just like the ~~good~~ , old times.

Ben turned around and stared at Hux, furious. Hux just looked at him calmly. He took off his apron and folded it neatly, before placing it on Ben’s vacant chair.

“$8,569 and 26 cents. But the more important question is why you have so much money? Where did you get that from? Are you doing some illegal stuff? Oh, _Ben_. I thought you were better.”

Ben didn’t know which of those things he should be more offended about:. the fact that Hux just spent eight thousand bucks—that he spent _Ben’s_ money like that—r the fact that he thought Ben was a criminal.

“Oh, fuck you,” Ben spat and took a step forward. Ben probably looked imposing, but Hux didn’t move an inch; he just sneered at him. Ben wanted to grab him and shake him. What was wrong with Hux? Why would he do this?

“It’s none of your fucking business where I got my money from. You fucking arrange for this new shitty furniture to be taken back as fast as possible and you fucking pay me back every little cent. Do you fucking understand me?”

They were nose to nose now. Ben furious. Hux smug.

“No,” his husband said. “I thought you’d like that. Me taking care of your well-being and all that. You didn’t even try my food. I’m hurt. What’s your problem, Benny? Isn’t that all that you wanted?”

Ben wanted to cry.

“What have I ever done to you, Brennan?” he asked, voice rough.

Hux’s eyes widened at the hurt in Ben’s voice and he blinked a few times. He then sighed and stepped away from Ben.

“You won’t divorce me,” he said simply. Bending down to his bag, he pulled out the damned divorce papers. He pushed them at Ben’s chest. Ben didn’t make any move to actually grab them.

Hux sighed as if Ben was the irrational one here.

“Please, Ben. I’ll transfer the amount from my New York account. You can even leave the furniture as it is. Just sign the papers so I can marry the man I’m very much in love with.”

Hearing this hurt more than waking up in an empty bed and seeing the simple gold band on Hux’s bedside table.

And Hux’s eyes looked _hopeful_. He almost begged Ben to sign the papers, so he could marry another man. A man, he apparently was very much in love with.

“Get. Out.”

“Pardon me?” Hux asked.

Ben was shaking with rage. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. I never want to fucking see you here again. I swear to god, if you’re not out of this house, _my_ house, in ten seconds, I will punch you in your fucking face. I will punch you so hard that you won’t be able to marry your fucking man _ever_ because your fucking nose will be fucking shattered. And we all know how vain you were with your _first_ wedding pictures.”

“Ben—” Hux said, looking startled. Did he truly think he could barge in here, change everything and make demands like that?

“OUT!” Ben screamed at him. Hux shrank back and Palpatine howled.

“You’re a fucking _animal_ , Ben.” Now Hux was angry too. But he stuffed the divorce papers back in his bag and walked over to the door where his coat was hanging. “You fucking asshole. Why can’t you just let me be happy for once?”

Ben flinched, and Hux stormed out of the cabin, not even putting on his coat. Ben could see him stomping away through one of the big windows.

He stood stock still for a minute, maybe five, or ten minutes.

He was already regretting what he’d said. He’d _never_ lay a hand on Hux. Never.

And then he let out a scream that sent Pal bolting for the bedroom. Ben grabbed the heavy and new dining table and flipped it over. The plates smashed on the floor, china and glass breaking. Hux’s wonderfully smelling food was ruined.

Ben breathed heavily, staring at the mess he’d made and kicked the broken shards away for good measure. When he realized that breaking his new stuff wasn’t helping him calm down, he turned away and stormed out of the cabin and into his garage.

Work.

Work always managed to calm him down.

He would start the new project for the library and not think about Hux.

(Oh, how he fooled himself. He thought about Hux the whole night, building and smashing his prototypes. He woke up in the garage the next morning. Poorly wrapped in a thin blanket and freezing his ass off. He was lucky that the small heater hadn’t stopped working during the night.

Too bad for Hux, though.

Wouldn’t it have been convenient if Ben froze to death? He would be such a happy widower, finally being able to marry the man of his dreams.)


	3. Hux

## Hux

_It was after nine o’clock in the morning when Ben finally came through the door, stomping the snow from his boots as he shucked his jacket. Hux was standing in the kitchen, wrapped in a blanket and staring at a cup of coffee that had gone cold. He had made it only twenty minutes before, but the chill in the house had cooled it quickly._

_“Where have you been?” Hux said, looking up at Ben. “Your shift ended at seven.”_

_“There was a pressure issue with the pipeline,” said Ben as he shuffled toward the small kitchen in his socks. His eyes were dark and sunken, his face drawn. He looked like he had been up all night, which, of course, he had. He had pulled a double shift at the pumping station; sixteen hours._

_Hux went to him, laying a hand on his cheek. “Look at you. You’re exhausted. You can’t mean to do this again.”_

_“We need the money,” Ben sighed. “The heater is still out. I bet you can see your breath in the bedroom.”_

_Hux had closed the door to the small bedroom they shared before he had gone to sleep the night before. He had lain on the sagging sofa next to the fireplace, the only source of the warmth in the house since their heater had broken down two days before. It wasn’t the dead of winter, but March was still cold enough to make it uncomfortable in the house. Without Ben to sleep beside him, Hux would have shivered through the night in the bed, so he had pulled a heap of blankets onto the sofa and curled into a ball. Still, he had slept fitfully. It had been nearly a full year since he had slept alone._

_“Ben,” Hux said, “you know I can get a job. I can check out at the grocery store or see if Luke needs an extra clerk at the hotel. I could even get something at the pumping station.”_

_“No,” Ben said sharply. “Not there. It’s too...rough.”_

_Hux rolled his eyes. “I’d be monitoring pressure gauges and computer monitors, not working out on the line itself.”_

_Ben’s hands closed around Hux’s shoulders, though he could hardly feel the grip through the blanket. “I said no.”_

_Anger flickered to life in Hux’s gut. “Why do you have such a problem with me working? You said it yourself; we need the money. Let me help.”_

_“The extra shifts will make up for it.”_

_“But I don’t do anything here. I’m bored, Ben.”_

_“You think bagging groceries at Maz’s is more interesting?” He pressed a brief kiss to Hux’s brow. “You shouldn’t have to do that. I don’t want it to be like Mom and Dad. I don’t want you to have to do what she does just to put food on the table.”_

_“Your mother does her share. Let me do mine.”_

_“Hux, do we really have to talk about this again?”_

_“Double shifts aren’t something you can do long-term, and you know it.”_

_“It’s just until the heater’s fixed.”_

_Hux closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t understand Ben’s insistence on Hux staying at home. This was not the 1950s; Ben didn’t have to be the sole breadwinner. The notion was ridiculous in the extreme._

_Running his hand over Ben’s hair, Hux said, “I miss you when you’re gone at night.”_

_Ben slid his arms underneath the blanket and around Hux’s waist. “It won’t be for long, baby. I promise.” He drew Hux into a lingering kiss, his mouth far warmer than the air around them._

_“You need to sleep,” Hux said when they broke._

_Ben touched his forehead to Hux’s. “I can’t. The Spring Festival is today. I need to be there to cheer you on in the race. Even though everyone already knows you’re going to win.”_

_Hux smiled. “They don’t start until noon. Lie down for a while.”_

_“Will you stay with me?”_

_“Of course.”_

_Hux took a moment to stoke the fire again before sitting down on the sofa. Ben curled up next to him, resting his head in Hux’s lap. Despite the broken heater and the disagreement that still lingered at the back of Hux’s mind, contentment settled over him. He stroked Ben’s hair, listening to his husband’s sleepy breathing until he himself drifted off._

 

When Hux opened his eyes, the interior of the cabin was gone, replaced by the white and green wallpaper of his room at the Millennium Hotel. After Ben had thrown him out of the cabin yesterday evening, he had spent some time just walking. He knew Ben’s temper well, and wasn’t altogether that surprised that what Hux had done to the house had infuriated him, but the rage he had flown into had still managed to shake Hux some.

When they were younger, it has always been Ben that had stormed out after a fight. He had never gone so far as to insist that Hux leave. Of course, the cabin had been _theirs_ then. Hux could hardly argue that it still belonged to him as well. If Ben wanted him out, he was within his rights to make him go.

But it was _how_ he had done it. He had threatened Hux with violence. That he had never done before, and while Hux had never feared him, he was certain that Ben had meant what he said. If Hux hadn’t have gone, Ben would have hit him. And reluctant as he was to admit it, Hux probably would have deserved it. He had stolen money that Ben had earned.

He shook his head, recalling his insinuation that Ben was doing something illegal to earn that money. Ben Solo was many things, but he was not a criminal. The source remained a mystery, though, and Hux couldn’t help but wonder about it. He had no doubt that someone in town knew what was going on, but he would have to be cautious about extracting that kind of information from the gossips without tipping Ben off. He didn’t need another thing to rile Ben. He just needed him to sign the divorce papers so Hux could leave.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he sat up. He could hear the strains of classic rock filtering into his room from outside. Rolling out of bed, he went to the window and looked out onto Main Street. The usual few passing cars were absent, replaced by a crowd of several hundred people in brightly colored coats and hats. A banner hung above them, proclaiming, “Arkanis Spring Festival and Races.”

Hux looked down at his watch, seeing the date: March 20, the first day of spring. In other, more temperate places it would mark an actual progression toward warmer weather, but in Arkanis they still had at least another month of cold temperatures and snowstorms. Still, as a teenager the celebration had been a highlight of the first part of his year. There were carnival games that he could waste the dollar bills his parents had given him on, stands with powdered sugar-covered fried dough, and, of course, the annual biathlon.

The Norwegian immigrants who had settled in Arkanis a hundred years ago had started the tradition of the combination cross-country skiing race and riflery competition. There were races throughout the day: the children’s challenge, the young adults division, and then the adults, both men and women. Hux had always looked forward to it, since he had been a bit of a star biathlete when he was in high school. As far as he knew, he still held the school record for fastest time and shooting accuracy.

Letting the curtain fall back over the window, he went to get dressed. If he wanted to see Ben today—which he certainly had to do—there was no doubt he would be at the festival. There wasn’t a soul in Arkanis who wouldn’t be. Layering a sweater under his jacket, Hux pulled on his gloves and headed out.

True to form, there was a sign on the front desk as he passed through the lobby that said, “Out at the festival. Come join us!”

The music was louder outside, playing over the noise of laughing children and their chattering parents. The DJ was set up in a tent near the courthouse, bobbing to the beat of the song. The midway was set up adjacent, the games stalls already bustling. Hux spotted Finn and Rey at one of them. Finn threw a baseball hard into a stack of bottles, knocking them down. He won a stuffed bear that he immediately gave to Rey. She grinned and kissed him on the cheek.

Ben had won Hux something very similar—a stuffed penguin—at the festival the year they were married, the day after his first double shift at the pumping station. It was almost a tradition, and Hux had had a small collection of the cuddly creatures set on top of the bookshelf in their bedroom in the cabin. He wondered in passing if they were still there.

“Hux! Hey, Hux!” Finn called, waving his hand.

Rey looked somewhat less pleased to see him, but she said, “Hi,” as she fiddled with the ribbon tied around the stuffed bear’s neck.

“How’s it going, man?” said Finn. “You look cold.”

Hux resisted the urge to huff, but Finn wasn’t wrong. The clear skies meant it was bitterly cold. There wasn’t much warmth in the bright sun. “I’m fine. I see you still have a good throwing arm.”

Finn smiled, rubbing his bicep. He had been the shot putter on the track and field team in high school. “It’s not bad. You going to try?”

“No. I don’t have any singles to pay for it anyway.”

“I’ll spot you.”

Hux shook his head. The scent of fry oil wafted over from the nearby food stands, making his stomach growl. “I think I need a funnel cake.”

“Oh, hell yeah. I could go for one, too. Rey?”

She made a face. “I don’t know how you guys can eat that stuff. It’s just sugary dough.”

“And that’s what makes it magical,” said Finn, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

They wove through the crowd to the stand. Hux sprang for the funnel cakes, a plain one for him and a cinnamon one for Finn. They stood by the curb and ate, watching the people go by. Hux recognized a few from his year in school, several of them holding the hands of small children bundled in jackets and scarves. He supposed people did, in fact, have children by the time they were thirty. He had just never considered the prospect.

“Have you seen Ben today?” Hux asked.

“What do you want with him?” said Rey, bristling.

“The same thing I wanted two days ago.”

Finn’s brows rose. “He still hasn’t signed?”

“I wouldn’t be here if he had,” Hux said. “I can’t understand why he won’t just do it.”

Rey shot him a look. “Seriously? I know you can be dense, Hux, but you can’t really pretend like you don’t know.”

“I don’t.”

“You were supposed to be his one and only,” she said. “He wanted forever.”

Hux dropped the piece of funnel cake he had been holding back down onto the paper plate, his appetite disappearing. “He was a kid. We both were. He had no idea what he wanted.”

“Bullshit,” Rey spat. She turned to Finn. “Are you done? I saw Jessika Pava over by the ring toss and I want to see her.”

“Yeah, I’m done,” he said. He gave Hux an apologetic look. “See you later, Hux.”

He watched them go, feeling a little unsteady on his feet. He wasn’t a fool; he knew that Ben was holding out on signing for the divorce for a reason, but Hux couldn’t see how Ben could possibly still have feelings for him. As much as he hated to say it, Hux _had_ run out on him, left him without a backward glance. Ben should have hated him, wanted to get rid of him as quickly as possible and wash his hands of the whole affair. Yet, even after Hux’s stunt with the kitchen, he had still refused to sign the papers.

Hux dropped the remnants of his funnel cake into the trash and, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat, headed back out into the street. He walked for a while, stopping only to buy a knitted hat at Maz Kanata’s booth near the end of the block. He tugged it over his head, feeling immediately warmer. He was just turning away when he bumped directly into a small woman with her gray hair pulled up into a neat chignon.

“Excuse me,” he said. “I’m so—oh.”

Leia Solo looked up at him with the same brown eyes her son had. “Brennan. I was wondering when I was going to see you. Han told me you were back in town.” The warmth Hux had always come to expect in her voice was gone, replaced by a steely indifference.

“For a little while, yes.”

“You’ve been to see Ben,” she said.

“I have. It’s a bit of unfinished business.”

Leia frowned. “Nothing about a divorce is business. It’s very personal.”

Hux swallowed, unable to disagree. “Ah, yes, I suppose it is.”

“He doesn’t like it, does he?”

“No. He won’t sign the papers.”

Leia sighed. “He holds on to things too tightly. Things he should have let go years ago.”

Hux almost flinched. Somehow the thought of Ben’s mother, who had once been very fond of him, encouraging her son to let him go stung.

“I want what’s best for him,” she said, “and it’s time he moves on. You have, haven’t you?”

It wasn’t an accusation, and there was no disapproval in her tone, but Hux still felt his cheeks heating. He wanted to nod or say something, but he found he could do neither.

“I’ll talk to him,” said Leia. “Take care, Brennan.”

“You, too,” he said to her back. He started as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“She doesn’t mean any harm,” said Han Solo, coming around to face Hux. “You know her; she’s just protective. Ben’s the only son we’ve got.”

“I never wanted to hurt him,” Hux said, quiet.

“I know you didn’t, kid. You just had things you had to do. I get that. But I’ve got to admit, you and Benny were good together.” He smiled one-sidedly. “I remember when he first started seeing you, you made him study with you. His grades got a lot better because of you.”

Hux allowed himself a smile as well. Even after they had finished their tenth grade final history project—the one during which Ben had first kissed him—they continued to spend more and more time together. Hux, who had always cared about having good marks, had a habit of doing his homework as soon as he got home from school. Ben, who had wanted to be around him as much as possible, had taken to following him back to his house or the Solos’ and working on his homework at the same time.

Hux had a particularly fond memory of sitting at the kitchen table in his parents’ large, rambling home working on algebra while Ben sat next to him. The more equations Hux solved, the closer Ben got to him, until he was near enough to press a kiss to Hux’s ear.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hux had asked, still looking down at his notebook paper.

“I’m bored,” Ben had replied, his breath warm on Hux’s skin as he trailed his lips down the column of his throat.

“You still have an Earth science report to finish.” Despite that, Hux tipped his head slightly to the side to give Ben better access to his neck.

“It’s not due until Monday.” A touch of tongue at the collar of Hux’s shirt. “I have the whole weekend to do it.”

Hux shivered. “You’ll put it off until Sunday at nine o’clock and you know it.”

“What if I promise to do it before then?” said Ben, sliding his hand along the buttons of Hux’s shirt.

“You won’t.” Reaching down, Hux took Ben’s wrist and lifted it away. “Finish your report, _then_ we can do that.”

Ben had huffed irritatedly, but had obeyed, returning to his work. Hux was certain he did the bare minimum when it came to answering the questions from their lab class, but it gave Hux enough time to finish his own assignment. As soon as he had closed his textbook and tucked the paper with his solutions into the color-coded folder for math, though, Ben had been on him, holding Hux’s face between his hands as he kissed him. They had stumbled their way to the sofa eventually, Ben crashing down heavily while Hux sat across his lap, his fingers buried in Ben’s hair and his tongue in Ben’s mouth.

They hadn’t gone much further than long sessions of making out at that point, though once they had pressed their hips hard enough together that Ben had come. He had been embarrassed, his face flushed bright red, but Hux had taken him by the hand and guided him to the bathroom to clean himself up while Hux went to get him a new pair of pants. They had still been able to share clothes then, before Ben had filled out more between their junior and senior years of high school.

“You made him happy,” Han said as they stood outside at the festival. “Happier than I had ever seen him. He, ah, wasn’t the same after you left.” He shifted on his feet, looking down. “He had kind of a tough time for a while.”

Rey had said the same thing, but Hux had made a concerted effort not the think about it. Ben had always felt things strongly. When he was upset, it was plain as day. If he and Hux had a fight, he would storm off in a snit and wander around town until he had calmed down. When he had come back, though, he had always apologized and pulled Hux into his arms, nuzzling him affectionately and feeling that just as strongly as he had his anger. After they had moved in together, the make up sex had been especially good.

Hux could only imagine what Ben had been like after he had gone away. With his moods, it could have been disastrous. In some ways, Hux was surprised he hadn’t burned the cabin down. He had broken more than one dish during their disagreements, slammed doors and spent hours hacking away at the woodpile for their fireplace. Arson was perhaps a step too far, but Ben did things in extremes.

“I didn’t do what I did lightly,” Hux said.

“I know that, too, kid,” said Han. “And so does Benny.” He leaned back on his heels, glancing over at the stage that was set up by the DJ’s booth. “Looks like Leia’s about to give her big speech. You want to come over there with me?”

“Sure.”

Behind the stage was town hall. It looked the same as it ever had except for a large, abstract metal sculpture that now occupied the lawn outside. It was very striking and shone in the morning sunlight.

Mayor Solo gave a rousing welcome to the festival and announced the winners of the children’s and young adults’ biathlon. She hung medals around their necks while they beamed and waved at their parents and friends.

“And now we’re going to begin with the adults’ races,” Leia said. “The men are up first, so let’s all head down to the field to cheer them on.”

As the crowd began to make its way toward the large sports field next to the school building, Han said, “You should get in on the race, Hux. You used to be the best.”

“Used to be,” Hux said. “I haven’t been on a pair of skis or shot a rifle in ten years.”

“Well, you don’t have to win. You can just get in on the action. I bet someone around here has a spare suit you could borrow.”

“I don’t think so—”

“Hey, Lando!” Han was already calling.

Lando Calrissian, in addition to owning the bar in town, was the coach of the high school biathlon team and had led them to several state championships.

“Han, how’s it going?” he said as they approached. He nodded to Hux. “Hey, Hux.”

“Hello, coach.”

“Hux was thinking about joining the fray out there,” said Han. “You have some equipment he could borrow?”

“Of course,” said Lando, grinning. “It would be damn good to see you in action again, Hux. Come on over and suit up.”

Hux took a long breath. This was seemingly unavoidable, so he followed Lando over to a tent where there were several pairs of skis and poles lying on the ground. There were a couple of rifles on the display table.

“This should fit you,” Lando said, holding out a ski suit. It was skin tight, built for speed and wicking sweat. “Go change, and I’ll get a set of skis for you.”

Taking the suit, Hux went into the tent. It offered little more than a shield from the wind, leaving him to strip down in the cold. Goosebumps rose all across his body as he shed his jacket, sweater, and pants. When he pulled on the suit it wasn’t much warmer, but at least he was covered.

“Here’s some boots, son,” said Lando, his arm passing through the flaps of the tent.

“Thank you,” Hux said. He pulled them on and ventured back out.

Han was waiting with skis and poles in his hands. They looked a few inches shorter than Hux should have been racing in, but they would serve. As he took them, he felt a rush of excitement. He had loved racing when he was in school. It would be enjoyable to do it again, even if he was sorely out of shape.

He belonged to a gym in New York, but he spent most of his time on the treadmill. Phasma had guided him through some weightlifting before, but he hadn’t done it consistently enough to build up any considerable strength or bulk.

Working out brought Ben to mind. There was no way he had gotten his physique without putting in several hours a week at the gym. That was certainly one of the habits he had acquired after Hux had left Arkanis. Ben had run track in high school, but he hadn’t been one of the lean distance runners. He had sprinted, giving him muscular legs that Hux had very much admired when he had finally gotten the chance to see them—and the rest of Ben—bare.

“Here’s your weapon,” Lando said, picking up one of the rifles.

Hux tested the weight and checked the ammunition cartridge before sliding the rifle’s harness over his back.

“You’d better hurry, kid,” said Han. “They’re about to start.”

Giving Han a brief nod, Hux took the last bits of equipment—a sleek hat to keep his ears warm and a helmet—and made his way toward the starting line.

There were twelve competitors checking their gear as he clipped his boots onto his skis. Calling up old memories, he did some stretches and swings of his legs and arms to warm up his muscles.

“Hi there, Hux,” said a young woman with a button on her jacket that read “Official Judge.”

“Hello, Jessika,” he said. Jessika Pava had graduated a year after him and had been a star on the women’s biathlon team in her heyday.

“I didn’t know you were back in town, let alone competing.” She held out an armband with the number 13 on it. “Here’s a number for you. I’ll put you on the list.” She smiled when Hux thanked her.

“All right, gentlemen,” Lando said, his voice coming through the speakers nearby. “We have a five kilometer race for you today with two stops for shooting at the two kilometer mark and the four kilometer mark. The man with the best accuracy and the fastest time will be our winner. So, are we ready?” He lifted a starting gun. It popped as he pulled the trigger.

Hux pushed off on his dominant right leg, getting underway strong. He hadn’t been the one to go to the front of the pack immediately off the starting line. He had to build up to it, approaching the leaders after the first kilometer. He was quick on the skis, but his real strength was shooting. He could fire faster and better than almost anyone he had competed against. Out of practice, though, he wasn’t certain he could mount a challenge against the others.

That frustrated him more than he expected. He had always wanted to win and had fought hard to do so. That drive came rushing back as he rounded the first turn on the track. He’d be damned if he wasn’t going to give this race everything he had.

He paced himself carefully for the first round of the track, but soon he was pushing out of the middle of the pack and toward the three men who currently held the lead. He was warm now, sweating, and he was falling into the movements that were familiar to his body even after a decade.

He grinned as he reached the firing range for the first round of shooting. Tossing his poles down, he lay down on his stomach, his legs splayed to accommodate the skis. Setting the butt of the rifle against his shoulder, he aimed carefully. He was breathing hard from the exertion of the race, but as he set up his shot, he slowed it, controlled it. He blew a long breath out as he pulled the trigger.

The first shot struck the the target, but at the edge, barely making it into the circle. He hadn’t accounted properly for the wind. Adjusting the rifle, Hux sighted down the barrel again. The next shot hit home, as did the one after it, the fourth, and the fifth. Then he was up on his feet again, taking off down the trail.

The leaders who had been ahead of him had finished their shots a few seconds before him and were already skiing on. Hux surged after them, his long legs eating up the ground. As they passed the starting line again, he could hear the cheers and Lando announcing the standings.

“It’s Number Four in the lead, folks, followed closely by Numbers Eleven and Seven, but now out of the back is our sharpshooter, Number Thirteen!”

By the time they were finishing the third kilometer, Hux had overtaken Number Seven, who was fatiguing after a hard start. He arrived at the firing range alongside Eleven and very close behind Four. He shot the five targets in quick succession, almost a full second ahead of the others. This round of shooting was standing, so he only had to sling his rifle across his back and pick up his poles before starting off again. Number Four followed him, quickly catching up so that they were skiing side by side.

“Going into our last lap, it looks like it’s going to be a fight between Numbers Thirteen and Four. Let’s hear it for them, folks!”

Hux’s lungs were burning as they made the first turn, but he pushed through it. His legs were holding up, but barely. He was going to regret this in the morning when he could barely stand.

Number Four set a punishing pace through the final stretch of the track, giving everything he had to keep his lead. Hux kept up with him, though it was a struggle. As they entered the last few meters, he mustered the last of his strength and surged ahead. He crossed the finish line half a meter ahead of Number Four.

“It’s Number Thirteen for the win, folks,” Lando said. “Let’s hear it for Brennan Solo!”

Hux’s chest clenched at that. Even after he had taken Ben’s name for his own, everyone had still continued to call him Hux; they rarely used his full, married name. Hearing it again was strange, but there was a sense of nostalgia, too. He had been so proud when he had become a Solo, joining the family he had grown closer to than his own.

He was going over to the sidelines to take off his skis when he saw Ben standing behind the ropes that marked the trail. Hux tensed, uncertain what to do after the way they had parted the night before, but he skied over anyway.

“Hey,” said Ben. “That was great. Impressive.”

“Thank you,” Hux said.

Ben was silent for a moment, chewing his lower lip, but then he said, “So, uh, about last night...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said...what I said.”

“I’d upset you. What I did was uncalled for.”

Ben looked at him intently. “But I said I’d hit you. I didn’t mean it. I would never hurt you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” said Hux. “I was never afraid.”

Ben shifted on his feet, looking down. “Good,” he muttered.

Hux’s fingers twitched with an odd compulsion to reach out and touch Ben’s cheek. He looked so very uncomfortable. “Well, I should get off these skis. I don’t know why I decided to do this race. I’m about to collapse.”

Ducking under the rope, Ben presented Hux with his back. “Climb on.”

Hux’s brows rose. “And go where?”

“Wherever you need to go. You want to change?”

“I need a shower.”

“Then I’ll take you back to the Millennium.”

“You’re not going to carry me all the way down Main Street.”

Ben looked over his shoulder. “Why not?”

“Because we’d look ridiculous,” said Hux.

“So?”

Hux sighed. He really was exhausted and the prospect of sparing his legs the journey to the hotel was enticing. However, he had his pride. “You can take me as far as the tent where I left my clothes. I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“Okay,” said Ben, crouching down.

Hux stared for a moment, but then put his arms around Ben’s shoulders. Ben took him by the thighs and guided them around his waist. They got quite a few curious looks as Ben walked through the crowd. Hux was conscious of what it looked like: the two of them together again, Hux wrapped tight around Ben as he bore the victor proudly. He felt an involuntary rush of warmth as he breathed in the clean scent of Ben’s hair. It seemed he used exactly the same shampoo he had ten years ago.

As they got to the tent, Ben let Hux slide down. He wavered slightly as he landed, his muscles protesting. Ben kept hold of his arm, steadying him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you back to the Millennium?” Ben asked, eyeing Hux.

“I’ll be fine.”

Ben looked a little crestfallen, but nodded. “If you say so. You’d better hurry up and shower, though. Mom’s got a medal for you.”

“I’ll be back before the women’s race is over,” said Hux.

“Okay.” Ben’s gaze flicked to the tent and then back to Hux. “You, ah, need any help changing? You do look like you’re going to fall down.”

Hux shot him a look. “No, Ben, I do not need your help to dress myself.”

Ben leaned in, his nose almost brushing Hux’s. “You used to like it when I did. When I undressed you, too.”

Hux’s mouth fell open at the deep, suggestive rumble of Ben’s voice. That had always been Hux’s weakness. He loved listening to Ben talk, especially when he was doing his best to coax Hux into bed with him.

“I...no,” Hux managed to say. “No, thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” Ben said, backing off. “I’ll see you later.”

Hux watched him go before slipping into the tent to retrieve his clothes.

The shower he took felt wonderful and much deserved. He was already aching, but at least his legs had recovered enough to take him back out to the festival in time to get to the stage to receive his medal. He had to stoop low for Leia to put it around his neck. She regarded him steadily and gave a single, “Congratulations,” before moving on to the next competitor.

After, he slid the medal into his pocket and went to find something else to eat. He settled on a plate of barbeque the likes of which he hadn’t had in years. He most often ordered Thai or sushi if he ate out in New York. The ribs he had now were tender and delicious, and he went through an entire pile of napkins as he ate them, constantly wiping the messy sauce from his lips.

At one point, Chewie stopped by to thump him on the back and say it was good to see him ski again. Hux thanked him and said, “I had a good time. I’ve missed it.”

“You should come around more often, Hux,” Chewie said, gruff.

Hux had offered a small smile, but had said nothing. Chewie had wandered off after that, in search of a beer. Hux didn’t think that sounded so bad himself. Before he could get to the bar stand, though, he ran into Finn again.

“Hey, buddy,” Finn said. “Nice race. You going inside in a little bit?”

“For what?” asked Hux.

“The party, the dance.”

Hux had almost forgotten about the evening festivities, which mainly consisted of a band playing cover songs in the school gym. They served punch that someone inevitably spiked—Hux and Ben had seen to it themselves one year—and various finger food while half the town took to the floor and danced.

“Are you going there now?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Want to come with me?”

“Please.”

They walked down the center of the street. The foot traffic had thinned out some as people trickled into the school building.

When they got inside, they checked their coats with a couple of teenagers before heading into the gym. The party was already in full swing, the band, led by Wedge Antilles, playing Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run.”

It was mostly kids out on the dance floor, some of them shooting embarrassed looks at the parents and grandparents who were out there as well. Hux and Finn skirted around them, going instead to the refreshment tables. Hux accepted a plastic cup of pink punch and sipped at it. It was almost sickeningly sweet, but it was the same recipe they had been using for as long as he could remember, and it brought him back to the first time he had tried it as a fourteen-year-old boy fresh off the boat from England.

He scanned the crowd idly, recognizing many of the faces around the gym. He spotted Rey dancing with a couple of the girls she had gone to school with, Jessika Pava among them. They were grinning and laughing as they moved to the music. Han and Leia were standing across the way from Hux. They were talking to Lando, Han with his hand resting at the small of Leia’s back.

Hux smiled. Though they bickered fairly often, Han and Leia were dear to each other in a way Hux had never seen with his own parents. It was from them he had learned that you could fight with someone without caring for them any less. Without that lesson he never would have been able to be with Ben for as long as he had.

It made him consider, and not for the first time, why Ben had been so adamant that his and Hux’s relationship be so different from his parents’. They were far warmer and more welcoming than Hux’s parents had ever been. Perhaps Ben had looked at the Huxes, though, and seen that Hux’s mother didn’t keep a job like Leia had to. Somehow Hux had never considered that when it came to Ben’s insistence that Hux not work.

“Hey.”

Hux didn’t have to look to know who it was, but he glanced over anyway. Ben wore dark jeans and a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The soft fabric was stretched taut across his chest, puckering slightly where the buttons were. His hair was down, brushing his collar.

Hux studied his features, their lines much more defined now than they had been when he was twenty, but still familiar. He had grown to be a striking man.

Ben looked back at Hux, his gaze intent. His eyes were lovely, easy for Hux to lose himself in. He remembered staring into them once when they were seventeen, lying face to face in Ben’s twin bed. They had been talking for a while, but at that moment they were just watching each other, their fingers twined together between them.

“Close your eyes,” Hux had said.

Ben had blinked at him. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

As Ben let his lids fall, Hux had pressed a kiss to each of them. Ben had trembled under his lips, his hand tightening around Hux’s.

“What was that for?” he had asked when Hux drew away.

“Does there need to be a reason?”

“No. But…” Ben looked down at their hands and then back up. “Do you love me, Hux?”

Hux’s mother had always said that children—teenagers—knew nothing about love, that it was something they played at, but couldn’t understand. As he looked at Ben’s bright eyes, though, and into his unusual face, Hux wouldn’t have hesitated to tell his mother she was dead wrong.

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Hux said, touching Ben’s jaw. “Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?”

Ben chewed his cheek. “Is that why you said it? Because you thought it was what I wanted?”

“I said it because it’s true.”

“Say it again.”

Hux moved in, until his lips were against Ben’s. “I love you.”

Ben had pulled him close, kissing and touching as much of him as he could get his hands on while the door to the bedroom was open—Leia’s rules.

“Ask me,” he had said when they came up for air.

Hux had brushed a few strands of hair away from his brow. “Do you love me, Ben?”

“More than anything.”

The words resonated in Hux’s mind as he looked at the Ben who stood across from him now, so changed and yet the same. “Hey,” he said, almost a sigh.

“Are you feeling okay?” Ben asked. “After the race.”

“Yes,” Hux replied. “Thank you.”

“Ben, how’s it going, man?” said Finn, stepping between them and offering his hand. Ben shook it.

“It’s good,” he said. “You?”

“Good, good. Ready to dance.” He looked Ben up and down. “Interested, Solo?”

Ben shook his head. “You know I can’t dance.”

Finn laughed. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. But I have seen Hux get you out on the floor before.” He prodded Hux with his elbow. “You guys remember homecoming junior year?”

“Please not this,” Ben said.

Finn continued on undeterred. “The old principal made up that bullshit suit-skirt rule, where every couple had to have one person in pants and the other in a dress, just so you guys and me and Theo couldn’t come together?”

Hux did remember that. Their former school principal had been conservative in the extreme, and had never looked favorably on any relationships among her students, let alone the ones between students of the same sex. She had made things as difficult for them as possible, including inventing rules like the suit-skirt statute.

“I gave up and asked Rey to come with me instead,” said Finn, “but you guys...you really stuck it to her. Where did you even find a dress that would fit you, Ben?”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “Thrift store. Mom altered it for me.”

Hux had resigned himself to going to homecoming alone after the rule had gone into place that year, but Ben had told him to meet him around back of the gym before the dance. When Hux had arrived, he had found Ben in a blue, strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and beading that reflected the light from the lamps in the parking lot. It was about three inches too short for him, revealing the Doc Martens he was wearing under it. Hux had gaped at him.

“What?” Ben had said. “You don’t like it?”

“You’re going to get us suspended,” Hux had said when he had regained his voice.

Ben’s white teeth had flashed as he smiled. “We’re not breaking any rules. We’ve got our suit and skirt covered. So, you going to offer me your arm, or what?”

“You are an absolute idiot,” Hux had said, though he let Ben loop his arm through his.

The principal had been up in arms, of course, and had tried to kick them both out, but the other teachers had stepped up to defend them. Eventually, she had backed off and gone to sulk in the corner of the gym. Ben, who really didn’t like to dance, had danced with Hux that night.

“Man,” said Finn, “I’m pretty sure I still have the pictures of you guys. Ben, blue really works for you.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Well, I’m going to ask Rey to dance. She owes me one after line dancing night at Calrissian’s a couple of weeks ago.” Finn flashed Hux a grin. “See you guys around.”

When he had gone, Hux asked, “There’s line dancing at Calrissian’s?”

“On Wednesdays,” said Ben. “It’s a new thing Lando picked up in Fairbanks. Pretty popular, though.”

“Fascinating.”

Ben cocked a brow. “Seriously? The only thing you hate more than my mom’s meatloaf is country music.”

Hux made a face. “I had done my best to forget that both of those things existed. Thank you so very much for reminding me.”

“No problem,” Ben laughed.

Hux hid his smile in his punch. “This place looks exactly the same.”

“All school gyms look the same.”

“Fair point.” He scuffed his shoe against the wood floor. The varnish was thinning and looked patchy in spots. “This could really use resurfacing.”

“Even the part under the bleachers?”

Hux glanced toward them, where a few people were sitting. Once, he and Ben had hidden beneath them to make out instead of going to lunch. As they took a break to catch their breath, Ben had pulled a penknife from his pocket and begun to scratch at the floor.

When Hux had demanded to know what he was doing, Ben had shushed him and kept working. Soon enough, there were two letters carved through the varnish and into the wood: B and H.

“Shouldn’t you have used my first initial or your last one?” Hux had asked as he traced the letters with his fingertip. “Solo and Hux or Ben and Brennan?”

“Why do you always have to be such a pain in the ass?” Ben had grumbled. Hux had just kissed him.

“No, I suppose not under the bleachers,” Hux said.

They fell silent for a time, both listening to Wedge’s remarkably rousing version of Journey’s “Separate Ways.” As the drummer struck the last beats, though, the stage lights dimmed. Wedge picked up an acoustic guitar and, pulling over a stool, sat at the center of the stage. His fingers plucked out a melody Hux knew all too well.

“ _I’ll be your man_ ,” Wedge sang. “ _I’ll understand. Do my best to take good care of you._ ”

“Hux.”

He turned to see Ben holding out his hand.

“Dance with me.” When Hux hesitated, he added, “Please.”

“All right,” Hux said, sliding his fingers into Ben’s palm.

He allowed Ben to lead him out. The other couples made a small space for them near the center of the floor, casting a few smiles in their direction. Hux hardly saw them, though; his attention was on Ben as he guided Hux’s arms around his neck. Slowly, they began to sway to the soft sounds of the guitar.

Hux had made a point not to listen to “I’ll Be Your Lover, Too,” one of Van Morrison’s best, for the last ten years because no matter where he was or what he was doing, it brought him back to the last time he and Ben had been together in this gym, the night of their senior prom, the night Ben had gotten down on his knees and asked Hux to marry him.

The days of suit-skirt rules were long past by then, so they had both been permitted to come to the dance in their rented tuxedos. They had eaten dinner with their friends, Rey with her date and Finn with Theo, who had been his off-and-on boyfriend throughout high school. They had spent more time talking than they had dancing, of course, but when the Morrison song—a favorite of Leia’s that she had used to play on the Solo’s ancient turntable when Ben and Hux were over at their house—had come on, Ben had taken Hux out to dance. He had wrapped his arms around him and rested his head against Hux’s shoulder.

As the singer had crooned the last line of the song, Ben had looked up and said, “Let’s go.”

It had still been early, but Hux had gone without protest. Ben had driven them out of town to a spot they had often frequented when they needed some time alone, but both sets of parents had been at home. It was just off the road, but hidden by a thicket of trees. Beyond it was a hill that afforded a view of the stars. Still holding Hux’s hand, Ben had led them there.

They had spent the first few minutes with hungry mouths pressed together and fingers in each other’s hair, but soon enough Ben was pulling away.

“Hux, do you love me?”

“Of course, I do.”

Ben had exhaled shakily, grasping for Hux’s hands again. His were shaking.

Hux squeezed them. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Ben. “That’s the thing. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s perfect.”

“I wouldn’t call a shabby prom with a terrible Phantom of the Opera theme ‘perfect,’ but—”

“That’s not what I meant. I don’t care about prom or school or any of it. I mean _you_. And me. Us.”

“Oh,” said Hux.

Ben’s thumbs brushed against the backs of Hux’s hands. “I know we’re graduating, and you keep talking about college, but...I don’t want things to change. I want to stay like this, with you.”

Hux pressed his forehead to Ben’s. “I’m right here.”

“I want to keep you. I _need_ to keep you.”

“Ben, what is this about? You have me.”

“It’s not enough. I want more. Everything.” Sinking down until he was kneeling at Hux’s feet, he said, “Marry me.”

“Oh, Ben.”

“Please, Hux. You told me you’d consider it. Do you remember?”

“I remember.”

“Well, I need your answer now.” He had kissed Hux’s knuckles. “I love you. Marry me.”

Looking down at him tenderly, Hux had nodded. “Yes.”

Wedge’s voice brought Hux back to the present. “ _And so I come...to be the one...who's always standing next to you._ ”

Ben’s hands were resting at the small of Hux’s back, warm even through the fabric of his shirt. With light pressure, he moved Hux closer until they were a scant inch apart.

“Tell me about New York,” he said.

Hux blinked. “Why?”

“Because it’s your life now. I want to know about it.”

“It’s...good. I had my first real show not so long ago. It got good reviews.” He had been checking them online in his hotel the past few nights.

“I know,” said Ben.

“You know?”

“I can Google things. I’ve paid attention.”

Hux’s chest tightened. “You’ve been following my career?”

Ben nodded. “You’re good at it. I don’t know anything about fashion, but people are paying attention to you. I guess that’s good.”

“Yes, it is,” Hux said. “I worked hard to get to this point. I’m proud.”

Ben ran his fingertips up Hux’s spine. “I am, too. Of you, I mean.”

Hux smiled just slightly. “Thank you.”

“So, do you have friends there? What are they like?”

“A few real ones. The rest are acquaintances. You have to network to get anywhere in the industry.”

“I bet you’re good at that, too.”

“My friend Phasma is far better than I am. She’s made more connections than I can count. I couldn’t have done this without her.”

“I’m glad you’re not alone. You should never be alone.”

Hux brushed his palm against the nape of Ben’s neck. “Are you saying you are?”

“You can’t be alone in this town. Someone will always show up at your door with a cobbler if they they haven’t seen you on Main Street in the past week.”

Hux chuckled. “That’s true. God, I haven’t had cobbler in years.”

“Not something they make in New York, huh?”

“Not often at least.”

“You could have made some yourself.”

“I could cook, not bake.” Hux eyed him. “Have you been subsisting on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since…” He trailed off, unable to say “ since I left.” When they had lived together, Hux had done almost all of the cooking.

Ben lifted his chin. “I’ve picked up a few things from Mom. I make a mean stir fry. It’s with frozen vegetables, though.”

“I’d like to try it,” Hux said.

“Come over tomorrow and I’ll make it for you.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “I have a nice kitchen to do it in.”

“I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have spent your money.”

Ben shrugged. “I kind of like it. Now I do. I guess I just needed to get used to it.”

“I wired you the money back already.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I did,” said Hux. The question about where the money had come from in the first place was on the tip of his tongue, but before he could speak, Wedge played the last chords of the song.

Ben gave Hux’s waist a last touch, and then took a step back. Hux’s arms slid down and away from his neck. He felt suddenly cold, Ben’s warmth gone.

“Ben,” Rey said sharply as she appeared next to them. “Can I talk to you for a minute? _Alone_.”

“Uh, okay,” he said. “Thanks for the dance, Hux.”

Rey scowled as she looked between them, then stalked off with Ben on her tail.

Hux could only imagine what kind of scolding Ben was about to get. Rey was a firebrand when she set her mind to it, and she had made no secret of disapproving of Hux. He had the feeling that she didn’t think Ben belonged anywhere near him, and especially not in his arms.

Hux stayed clear of the dance floor for the next few minutes. He faced away from the corner of the gym where Rey was standing across from Ben, but he watched out of the corner of his eye as she spoke animatedly, hand gestures and all. Ben took the tongue-lashing well enough, saying little from what Hux could tell. When Rey finally backed down, her arms crossed, Ben touched her shoulder. She deflated.

Hux hastened over to the punch bowl as he saw Ben starting toward him again. Ben was detained by Jessika, though. Hux drank down half the cup of punch, glancing at the door. If he hurried, he could slip away before Ben noticed. It would be for the best that he got out. Tossing the cup into the trash, he started in that direction, but before he could get there, strong fingers clasped his bicep.

“Are you leaving?” said Ben.

“I’m tired,” Hux said. “I need to sleep.”

“It’s seven o’clock.”

“I...have some work to do back at the hotel.”

“Then I’ll drive you back.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

Ben smiled. “I’d like to.”

“All right,” Hux said.

They both exchanged the numbered squares of paper they had been given at the coat check for their jackets. Before Hux could take his, Ben grabbed it and held it out to help Hux into it.

Ben’s battered truck had been exchanged for a new, black one. It was clean inside, the seats upholstered with leather, which was chilly to the touch when Hux slid inside. However, as Ben turned the engine over, it began to warm.

“Heated seats?” Hux said.

“Mmhmm. Pretty nice, huh?”

“When did you buy it?”

“Last fall.”

“You drove that trash heap of a truck you bought for five hundred dollars until _last year_?”

“Yep,” said Ben. “It held up pretty well until the transmission went. I could have replaced it, but it would have cost more than it was worth.”

“Which was nothing.”

“Yeah. And at least I can listen to my iPod now.” He pulled out of the high school parking lot and onto Main Street, which had been cleared of the festival booths. “Do you drive in New York?”

“No. It’s utterly impractical. I ride the train.”

“Do you like it?”

“I don’t _dis_ like it.”

It took only a few minutes to get to the Millennium, so it soon enough Ben was putting the truck in park by the curb outside.

“Thank you for the ride,” Hux said.

Ben pressed the button to turn on his hazard lights. “Let me walk you inside.”

Hux didn’t bother to refuse this time. Ben would just insist again.

The lobby was empty as they passed through it, the sign on the desk still proclaiming that the staff was out. They walked slowly, but still seemed to arrive at Hux’s door too soon.

“This is me,” he said, pulling the key from the pocket of his pants.

“You could have stayed with me,” said Ben.

“Hardly. You slammed the door in my face and then threw me out the next time I came over. Or do you not remember that?”

Ben flushed. “Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry.”

“It wasn’t the first time,” said Hux. “But you still have an impressive temper.”

He looked abashed, making Hux’s stomach clench. Reaching up, he laid a hand on Ben’s cheek. Ben leaned into it. It would have been so easy to step closer to him, to guide Ben’s lips down as he would have all those years ago. Han was right; they had been good together once. Hux felt an unexpected pang, missing the days they had spent just lying in bed and talking about nothing and everything that came to mind. It wasn’t so late, and maybe a long conversation was what they needed.

“Do you want to come in?” Hux asked.

Ben’s eyes opened wide, searching Hux’s face. The moment dragged on until he finally said, “I can’t.”

“No. Of course not.” Hux drew his hand back, clenching it into a fist at his side. “Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Hux,” he said.

Hux went through the door without a backwards glance, closing it and turning the lock. “Oh, God,” he said as he leaned against the wall. He had to get out of Arkanis, and he had to do it as soon as possible.


	4. Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that took longer than expected. moving is a bitch.
> 
> have fun!
> 
> minze <3

## Ben

_  
There was a knock on his door._

_Ben ignored it. He was sitting on his bed, arms crossed and glaring holes into the blanket. Hux had left a few hours ago. He’d told Ben that he wanted to face his parents alone. But he would call._

_“They are probably going to throw me out now,” Hux had told him. “So I’ll be back sooner than you think. I hope they give me time to pack my things.”_

_Ben’s phone vibrated and he flipped it open. The message was indeed from Hux. He had just sent him a sad face._

_Well then. He would probably packing now._

_The knock came again. Ben sighed. He probably should let his mother in now. Hux would probably come back here sooner or later and Ben didn’t want to fight with his mother during that time._

_“Yes,” he said, looking at the door. The knob turned and Leia came in, looking surprised that he hadn’t actually locked the door. She smiled at him, seemingly testing the waters. Ben just looked at her without smiling back. Leia sighed and came into the room. She crossed the short distance to him and sat down on the edge of the bed._

_They were silent for a while. Ben used the time to type out a message to Hux, telling him that he loved him more than anything and that he should keep him updated. After a quick thought, he added that he would beat Hux’s dad to a bloody pulp if he said something mean to his fiancé._

_“So…” Leia said after some time. She’d been looking around his room, frowning a bit at the state of utter chaos in there._

_“So…” Ben replied, putting his phone away when he realized that Hux was busy with packing and wouldn’t write back any time soon._

_“I’m sorry,” his mother said. That made Ben look up._

_“You are?” he asked, totally perplexed. She was usually too stubborn to apologize. Just like him._

_Leia chuckled. “I am. I’m sorry. I should have reacted…better. More appropriate, I guess.”_

_Ben snorted. “Yeah. Probably. You reaction to us telling you that we’re going to marry was ‘no.’ That hurt.” Ben hated to admit it, but it did hurt. Telling your mother that you wanted to marry the love of your life, and her immediate reaction was a pinched face and a ‘no.’ She’d taken it back of course, had told them hastily that this was a lot to take in and had asked if Hux’s parents already knew. They didn’t know, that’s why Hux had left an hour ago to tell them._

_At least Han had grinned and congratulated them. Hux’s face when Han had pulled him into a bear hug had been priceless._

_“I’m sorry,” Leia said. “Really. I shouldn’t have said that. I…I just worry about you. You’re my only child. And both of you are so young.”_

_Ben rolled his eyes at her, because playing the worried mom card never worked with him. “But I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him,” he said earnestly._

_“I know.”_

_“And you met dad when you were nineteen, mom. You had me only a few years later. Is that any different?”_

_“It kind of is, but—”_

_“You’re my mother. You should be happy for me.”_

_“Ben—”_

_“I can’t believe you said no. As if I need your permission. I am eighteen now. I’ve finished school and I have a job at the pumping station—”_

_“Ben—”_

_“And I will do anything to provide for him. I love him so much. And he’ll want for nothing, I’ll make sure of that—”_

_“Ben, god Ben. I know, I know, listen to me, sweetheart.”_

_Ben stopped talking when she placed her tiny hands on his face. He looked at her and was relieved when she smiled at him._

_“I know all of this, Ben. You’re going to marry the person you hold most dear. This is good. Very much so. Please believe me that even if I may have my doubts because you’re both so young, I am very happy for you and I certainly won’t stand in the way of your marriage. Your dad and I will be present. And everyone else you’re going to invite. I’m sure of it. It’s going to be great.”_

_He looked at his mother with awe. It had been a while since they had talked to each other calmly and without yelling at each other. She didn’t like heart-to-hearts so this must have been difficult for her. He wondered if his father sent her up._

_“...Okay,” Ben said, a bit unsure._

_Leia smiled again and pulled her hands back._

_“I have something for you,” she told him. She reached into her pocket and pulled something out. When she opened her palm, a simple gold band was revealed._

_“What’s that?” Ben asked, looking at the ring curiously._

_“It’s your grandfather’s wedding ring. You probably remember that he wore your grandmother’s ring, too, after she died. Luke and I got them when he died. Luke kept mother’s ring to give it to Rey someday. And I took Dad’s. I thought you might want to wear it one day. But knowing you, you’ll probably give it to Brennan.”_

_Ben carefully took the ring in his hand, regarding it for a few seconds. His grandfather’s wedding ring. It was simple but beautiful. It would look perfect on Hux’s finger._

_“Thank you,” Ben said in a rough voice. “That...this...means a lot to me, Mom.”_

_She laughed; it sounded a bit watery. Leia reached out and rubbed her hand over his arm in a soothing manner._

_“I knew you’d like it. We’ll talk about it later. But how about you come down to dinner now? Your father made his famous chili. Will Brenn be joining us?”_

_“Um…” Ben said, looking at his phone again. There was indeed a new message from Hux from a minute ago. “Yeah, he will,” Ben told her, frowning at Hux’s message. “And he’s not going back to his parents either.”_

_“Well, good,” Leia said. “His parents are... Of course he’s welcome here. He won’t be sleeping in your room until after the wedding, though,” she added, stern._

_Ben laughed. “Yeah. Okay.” He grinned at her, writing a short ‘I love you’ back to Hux. Then he stood up from the bed and wrapped his arm around his mother, pulling her into a one-armed hug. “Thank you.”_

_She smiled up at him and beckoned him to come down so she could kiss his cheek._

Ben was staring at his sizzling steak in the pan, trying not to overthink what had happened the day before and failing miserably. He’d worked the whole day in the garage, trying to get the prototype for the library’s sculpture right but nothing had felt good enough. He had half-trashed his garage in a fit of rage (he had to got his rage under control again; he’d been so good lately, but then Hux came around—).

Hux.

Hux, who was an asshole and so lovely at the same time. Ben’s cheek was still burning with the memory of Hux’s palm there. That simple touch and Hux’s request to come in and probably talk more had Ben thrown off balance.

Ben wasn’t even angry. He was—

He actually had no idea how he felt. Empty, perhaps. It felt like all the energy was slowly draining out of him since Hux had stepped into his life again. This shouldn’t be the reaction when your long-lost husband made an appearance again.

It didn’t stop Ben’s from feeling utterly exhausted, though.

He snapped out of his thoughts when his food started to smell smokey. Shit. He quickly flipped it over and adjusted the temperature. This fancy new stove got hotter more quickly than its predecessor. Ben huffed when he realized that he had to deal with an over-done steak now, and his mood only worsened.

He turned off the stove completely and looked into the oven to see if _that_ food was almost overdone, too.

It was.

He turned off the oven too and was opening his brand new fridge to take out a bottle of beer when his landline rang. He groaned because there was only one person who called on his landline. He was tempted to ignore it and eat his food in peace, but there wouldn’t be any peace. She’d let it ring until he picked up. Because she always _knew_ when he was at home.

He looked at the steak, which would taste like shit anyway, and turned away from it. Ben opened his bottle of beer, relishing the first cold swig.

( _“Goodness. This beer is too strong, Ben. How can you drink so much of it? How did you get it anyway? Do you still have that ridiculous fake ID? And it’s imported. My god, Ben. Expensive and tastes awful._ ”)

Only then, after the sweet taste of the beer filled his stomach, did he pick up the phone.

“Y’ello?” he asked, knowing exactly how his mother would react. Like always, of course.

“ _I’ve told you a hundred times to not answer the phone like that. You’re thirty for Christ’s sake. What if it’s a potential client calling you?_ ”

“My clients don’t have my landline number. You’re the only one who calls here. You know that I have a cell phone, right? You’re probably the only one who still calls via landline.”

“ _Well. You still have it, so why should I change my way of calling you?_ ”

Stubborn as always.

“What’s up, Mother? Is this about that dinner? I thought that was tomorrow.”

“ _It’s about Brennan._ ”

Ben had to put his beer down on the kitchen counter. So that was what the phone call was about. Of course.

“What about him?” he asked, already feeling defiant.

“ _What are you waiting for? Sign those papers so he leaves again. He’s been here for two days and I can already hear the whispers about your well-being going around in town. Do you know how many people have already asked me if you’re back together with that boy again? After what he did to you? They look at me and are silently judging me. Because you’re my son and you should have long gotten that divorce._ ”

“Oh, so it’s about you and your, what? Political career?” Ben scoffed. He eyed his dinner and all of a sudden, he wasn’t hungry anymore. Sighing, he sat down on one of the new two bar stools in the kitchen and glared at the wall. “It’s not yours or anyone else’s business if I’m getting a divorce or not.”

“ _I’m sorry. That came out wrong. Again. I just worry about you. Do I have to remind you how heartbroken you were after he left you? You’ve been doing so well, Benny. And now he’s back and I have to see you and him dancing together again. With a lovesick expression on your face. Don’t do this again, Benny. This boy is no good. He never was. I always thought you were too young, but did you ever listen to me? No. But please listen now. He’s back because he wants a divorce. And do you know why he wants a divorce? Because he wants to marry another person. One who isn’t you. It was never you, Ben. He moved on. And you should too._ ”

“Wow,” Ben spat. “Did you write that down or has this been boiling inside your guts for ten years now?”

“ _Don’t be like that, Benny. I do worry, you know. I am not the bad influence on you. It’s him. Just let him go. Cut him off and finally breathe again, would you?”_

Ben wanted to yell at her and then hang up. And rip the telephone out of the wall. And then throw it in the snow.

“Mother, I’d rather not speak about this. I actually do want to enjoy my dinner.”

“ _In that fancy new kitchen that he bought with your money?”_

“How do you even—no. You know what? I don’t care.He paid me back everything. It was—we’re both in a loop right now, okay? It’s not—fair to him.”

“ _Oh my god. You’re actually defending him._ ” His mother sounded frustrated. Disappointed. Stressed. The usual.

“You know what, Mother? I don’t need to have this conversation with you. Are you even aware that you’re maybe...I don’t know... _hurting_ me?”

“ _Oh Ben,_ ,” she sighed. “ _Don’t be like that. I just want what’s best for you. And clearly you don’t know what’s best for you. I just—worry about you. Think about it. Take your time. Actually read what is written in those papers and just….just think about it, okay?_ ”

“I’m going to hang up now, Mom. Goodnight.”

A sigh.

“ _Yes, okay. Goodnight, Benny._ ”

Ben pressed the button so hard that the phone made a worrying cracking sound. He eyed his dinner, his hunger gone completely by now. He grabbed his beer instead and took it with him to the living room. Pal looked up from the sofa.

“Hey, Buddy. Do you mind?” Ben asked, and Pal wagged his tail, licking Ben’s hand when Ben reached out to scratch him behind his ears. Ben sat down with a huff.

“Whatcha watching?” he asked the dog, turning on the TV. There was some movie about robots fighting each other on so Ben left it on, sipping his beer and lifting his arms when Pal snuggled close. He was soon draped over Ben’s lap.

Ben was trying hard to ignore the whole situation by actually nodding off. He was startled awake when there was a knock on his door. Ben groaned and looked at his watch. It wasn’t even eight yet—but still.

“C’mon Benny, open up.” Han appeared in front of the huge window next to the door and grinned through the glass. He was holding up a sixpack of beer.

Ah. Ben’s mother had sent the cavalry again.

Pal was already bolting to the door and scratching the wood. Ben made a hand gesture to show that the door was open and Han nodded. He turned the knob and stepped in.

“Easy, boy.” He said, grinning at Pal who was jumping up and down, trying to lick his face. Han had brought in a whirl of snow.

“There’s going to be a storm in a few hours,” he told Ben, who hadn’t bothered to move from the sofa. Han shed his coat and hung it up in a hook next to the door. “So you’re lucky. I can’t stay that long. I still need to get home tonight.”

“She’s so angry that she can’t be left alone?” Ben huffed, and Han rolled his eyes.

“I’ll have you know I am here of my own free will. I happened to listen to your phone call and thought it would be a good idea to come by. You know me. I can’t stand the tension between you and your mother.”

“So you must have been unhappy for roughly twenty-four years now.” Ben smirked and thanked him for the beer.

“Still buying the imported stuff, I see,” Han commented on Ben’s empty beer bottle.

“Yeah well,” Ben said. “It is rather good. Your cheap stuff can’t compete.”

Han laughed and opened both of their bottles. “Probably,” he said. “But bear with me here. It was the first drop of alcohol I’d ever tasted and it kinda stuck with me.”

“I know, I know. Cheers,” Ben mumbled. They clinked bottles and Ben could count down the seconds until Han said what he had come to say. He could see how his father was working on the words in his head.

10, 9, 8, 7...

“So, Brennan…” Oh, earlier than expected.

“What about him?” Ben sighed. If his father started with the signing the divorce papers, too—

“He’s a good kid.”

Ben almost choked on his beer.

“He what?” he asked, looking at his father with utter surprise.

“Well, you wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t a good person, right? Your knowledge of human nature is better than you let on. I know that. You’re my son.”

“Oh,” Ben mumbled and took a sip from his beer. “That’s…nice, I guess. Thank you.”

Han hummed and asked for the remote, changing channels. They didn’t talk for a while, just sitting in comfortable silence. Ben wondered if this was Han’s idea; just not saying anything, sitting here with his son and watching some documentary. But no such luck.

“So are you going to sign the divorce papers or not?” Han asked when they were on their second bottles of beer.

“...:Dad,” Ben whined.

Han shoved him lightly. “C’mon. You can talk to me about it. I know your mother is urging you to sign the papers, but I don’t think there’s a rush. I mean, don’t you think that there’s a reason you two aren’t divorced yet?”

“Is there?” Ben asked, sinking further down into the cushions until his head was on the backrest. He stared at the ceiling, wondering why everyone was bothering him today. He squinted sideways and realized that his father was staring at him, obviously wanting him to say something more.

“Oh, Dad,” he groaned, putting an arm on his face, resisting the urge to scream. “What is there to tell? We aren’t divorced yet because I didn’t sign the fucking papers. I don’t want to divorce him.”

“Yes, I know that, kiddo. But he could have tried harder, couldn’t he?” Han nudged Ben’s arm and Ben put it down again, looking at this father.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Han shrugged. “He could have taken some more drastic measures, don’t you think? What was it? A year after your separation, he sent them the first time, and when you didn’t answer, he just let it slide? For years? Why now? Why didn’t he come before?”

“Because he wants to marry the man of his dreams,” Ben sneered, Hux’s words fresh in his mind, still painful.

“Ah,” Han said, taking another sip of his beer. “That’s the thing isn’t it. I think he’s met the man of his dreams years ago. That’s why he isn’t willing to finalize the divorce. Sure, he thinks he’s in love now but I think he’s kidding himself.”

“Why would you say that?” Ben asked.

“Ah, I’m just speaking my mind. But you know what your mother and I are wondering about? _Why_ did he go? Benny, you’re so very clearly in love with him. _Still_. And I think he is too. So that’s why I—we—are wondering why he left in the first place.”

Ben snorted, followed by a long sigh. He put the beer in front of him on the small table and rested his elbows on his knees.

“It, it didn’t work out. That’s just what it was,” he mumbled, trying to remember what exactly he had said to his parents and friends all these years ago.

“Bullshit, Benny. You can tell me. I won’t even tell it your mom if you don’t want me to. Out with it. I am old and wise, kiddo.”

Ben sighed again. He stared at his hands. Han lay his hand on Ben’s shoulder, and Ben felt like the tiny boy again who had fallen from the tree and had cried his eyes out because of his broken arm. Han had never told Leia that Ben had climbed the tree despite her telling him not to. Since then, Ben knew that his father really could keep secrets.

“It’s my fault,” he finally rushed out to say, head sinking down. He buried his head between his knees and gripped his hair in frustration.

“Oh, I don’t think so. I think there are always two involved in such decisions, don’t you think?”

“I forbade him college,” Ben mumbled against his knees.

“What was that?” Han asked, rubbing an aching spot between Ben’s shoulder blades.

Ben groaned and surfaced again.

“College. He wanted to go. I said no.” Because that was the reason, wasn’t it? Ben had had ten years to think about _what_ had gone wrong. And the only answer had been his stubbornness regarding Hux’s wish to go to college. God, Ben had been so _stupid_.

“My god Ben, how can you be so stupid?”

Ben winced and shrugged.

“And I didn’t want him to work. I wanted to…I wanted to provide for him. Alone. Do you see the irony, dad? I wanted to grant him every wish, but _couldn’t_. We didn’t have the fucking money for the schools he had wanted. And I told him so, but—it probably all came out...wrong.”

“How can that come out wrong? Did you say ‘no’ when he asked?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he ask again?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever explain to him why you said ‘no?’”

“I—I said I didn’t want him to go. I wanted to...make a life for us first…”

“Oh. Did you tell him that you had no problem with it as long as he would apply for the schools a few years later?” Han’s voice sounded funny. As if he wanted to laugh and cry out in frustration at the same time.

Ben stayed silent. He stared ahead sullenly and Han groaned.

“Oh, _Benny_ ,” he sighed and pulled his son into a one-armed hug.

“I don’t know what to do, Dad,” Ben said. “I probably should sign the papers and let him be happy. He wasn’t happy with me. He told me as much. I’m an egoistical asshole. Only took me ten years to get it.” Admitting it was horrible. He’d never said it out loud. But there wasn’t a day when he didn’t think about it.

“I’ve never seen two people so much in love, Benny,” Han suddenly said. Ben looked at him, again very irritated. Why would his father say things like that?

"Yeah, well, he doesn't love me anymore."

"You sure about that, kid? When you were dancing—"

"It's over, Dad. I screwed it up, and I can't fix it."

"Have you told him you still love him?"

What a laughable thought.

"I don't."

Han squeezed his shoulder. "If you say so, Benny." Silence.

God, Ben still loved Hux so much. He almost couldn’t bear it. But admitting it out loud—no.

“You never talked to him in New York, did you?”

Ben groaned again and stood up to collect the three empty beer bottles. “Dad, the snowstorm will be here soon. You probably should head home,” he told him, wanting to end the conversation. He had opened up too much anyway and he hoped that his dad wouldn’t tell his mother about it. Ben preferred it if she didn’t know the details.

Han stood up and stretched. Ben could hear his back pop. He wondered if he really went to those yoga lessons Leia had signed him up for. Probably not.

“You know you can talk to me when you don’t know what to do anymore, right? Or Rey. Our sunshine is really worrying about you,” Han told him as he went over to his boots. “Keep the beer.”

“I don’t like the stuff,” Ben complained.

“Well, keep it, in case I have to come over again soon,” Han said, grinning and putting on his clothes, making sure that he was all wrapped up. “You probably should park your truck in the garage. It’s going to be a hell of a snowstorm.”

“Good idea. Thanks, Dad. For...you know…” Everything.

“Don’t mention it, kiddo. I’m still trying to figure out this whole ‘dad’ thing.”

“Ha. Ha,” Ben said dryly but gave his father a small hug anyway. “Tell me when you’re home.” His parent’s home was a bit higher up the hills, overlooking Arkanis. The road up there always iced up fast.

“Will do,” Han said. “Take care, Benny. And don’t forget to call your cousin.”

Ben nodded and watched through the open door until Han’s car rounded the corner to get on the far end of the main street.

They sky really looked sinister. Ben turned to Pal, who was longingly staring outside.

“We can’t go for a walk,” Ben told him. “Just go and finish your business in the front yard, all right? Sorry, Pal.” Palpatine grumbled but darted out of the cabin anyway, sniffing around, burying his head in the snow. Ben used the time to park his truck in the garage and then waited for another three minutes until Pal finally found the right spot to finish his business.

The first snowflakes started to fall when Ben lit the fire in the old fireplace and stared at it for a while, thinking about what his mother and his father had said. Then he wondered if the hotel’s heating was enough for Hux. Hux always had been so cold, sticking his cold feet between Ben’s legs every time he could get the chance. Which was funny considering that he had lived in Alaska.

He wrote Rey and asked her if the heating was working properly. She answered with a _Yes, why_ but Ben didn’t answer, because what the hell. He shouldn’t care if Hux was warm enough.

Ben scratched Pal’s belly for a while. His old dog had stretched in front of the fire, probably dreaming about chasing some squirrels.

He had the sudden urge to go into his bedroom and dig into the depths of his closet. It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for. Ben grabbed the two large boxes and pulled them out of the closet. He knelt down in front of them, blowing the dust away. Staring at the boxes, he wondered why he hadn’t thrown them away yet. Ben opened the lids of the boxes and there they were: all of the thing Hux had left behind, thrown carelessly into the boxes. Ben had thrown away every little piece of Hux’s clothing but he hadn’t managed to throw away Hux’s books, journals, sketches, and few fashion magazines.

He skimmed through the sketches, admiring how he could see the progress that Hux had made during the two years of their marriage. The sketches he had made right before he had left were pretty good. Well, it wasn’t that Ben knew anything about it, but to his untrained eye they looked really impressive.

Ben smiled when he opened the old fashion magazines and saw all the notes that Hux had scribbled down. But the smile soon turned into a frown and suddenly he leaned away from the boxes, staring at them as if they offended him. Why was he doing this? He shouldn’t be doing this. He probably should give it back to Hux or just throw it away. Yes, he should—

Ben got up and opened the window of the bedroom wide. Cold air and snowflakes hit his face. He should throw the stuff out. Really. But instead he just stared into the darkness, eyes roaming over the reflecting white snow. What a beautiful night indeed. The storm would probably hit fully in an hour.

He closed the window again and checked every other window in the cabin, making sure that everything was closed properly and no heat would get out. His thoughts drifted back to Hux and if he was cold.

“God damnit,” Ben groaned. He needed to distract himself. Tomorrow. He should go to Hux tomorrow and sign those papers. Yes. He’d waited for ten years. Ten. Fucking. Years. And Hux did come back. But not for the right reason.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone. Han had texted him that he was home safely and reminded him to check all the windows. Ben rolled his eyes and kicked one of the boxes. That made the things inside the box tumble down and a few brochures flew out. Ben reached down and swallowed dryliy when he saw that they were a decade old information sheets for different design schools.

Ben had never seen them before. There were a few from Alaska, a few from all over the States. And the last one... Ben took it into his hands. It was wrinkly and obviously read through many times. Parsons, the New School Of Design. Ben knew that school. He knew that this was the school where Hux went.

(“ _Hey Benny.”_

_“Hm? Fuck, I was almost asleep.”_

_“What do you think about New York?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“New York. The city. East Coast. 9/11. Remember?”_

_“Don’t be an ass, Hux.”_

_“New York. I think...I want to—I mean, I got into—I want to move to New York, Ben.”_

_“What. Are you insane? Go so sleep, my god.”_

_“Ben, I mean it.”_

_“Fuck, Hux, I have a fucking double shift ahead of me. Let me fucking sleep. And don’t talk about bullshit like moving to New York.”_ )

Two weeks later Hux had been gone. Ben had always shut him down. He’d laughed in Hux’s face when he had told him that he’d applied for college.

And he’d gotten so angry—

Enough.

Ben snarled and put everything away again, kicking the boxes back into the closet.

He wanted to destroy something. Time for a bit of metal bending.

Grabbing his coat (even the short walk to the garage would be freezing), he put it on. His dog was fast asleep in front of the fireplace, so Ben didn’t call him to come with him. He silently opened and closed the front door and stomped through the snow to the garage. Inside, three unfinished projects greeted him. He didn’t even want to look at the project for the library because everything came out wrong. He just didn’t have the right thoughts for it, what with Hux constantly invading his mind.

Ben started the heater. When it wasn’t kicking off fast enough, he rummaged in the back of the garage for the older heater, one that he probably hadn’t turned on since the first year of his marriage. Hux and always, always being so cold.

That heater took a while longer to get warm and Ben stayed in his coat for a while. He looked at one of his projects he’d made for fun, circling it.

“Shit,” he mumbled when he realized that he would get nothing done. He was so frustrated that he rummaged around until he found the axe. It would be a good idea to destroy the wooden prototype and let off some steam, finally getting Hux out of his head—

“What the hell, Ben?”

Ben started, axe still lifted over his head, mid-swing. He looked over his shoulder and there he was. He still had that ridiculously light, but stylish coat (at least he had a hat now) on and was shaking like a leaf.

Ben stared.

Hux stared back.

“You lived here for what?” Ben asked. “Seven years? And you still go out when there’s a fucking snowstorm starting. Did you _walk_ here?” Ben couldn’t believe it. Hux could be such an idiot sometimes.

“Yes, well,” Hux tried to sneer but it didn’t look very wrathful with his blue lips. “It’s not like I can hail a cab here. And I wanted to talk to you. Calmly. About. You know.” Hux patted his bag, and Ben sighed because surely Hux had the divorce papers again. Ben could feel his anger boiling, but Hux gave another pathetic shiver and Ben deflated.

“God, look at you. Come here, you dimwit.”

Hux bristled, but Ben just crooked his finger in an inviting gesture. He was standing between the two heaters. Hux eyed them and then seemed to swallow his pride. He was in front of Ben in three strides. Ben took off the coat he still had on and placed it over Hux’s shoulders.

“There,” he said, rubbing Hux’s arms. “Why on earth did you go out in the snowstorm? How can you be that dumb? This divorce is really important to you, huh?” He even managed a smile when he said that. Hux only huffed and seemed to concentrate on getting warm again.

At least Ben wasn’t cold without the coat. Both heaters were on maximum now and at least this spot in the garage was pleasantly warm, almost too warm. But Hux’s lips were turning a normal color again, so it must have been the right temperature after all.

“You look like you could use something that’ll warm you up a bit more,” Ben said. He turned away and walked over to a dusty shelf. Kneeling down, he put aside a few toolboxes, some rags, and a few discarded half-formed wooden shapes. He found the sorry bottle of whiskey and held it up to the light. Yeah, there was still enough for two people. He showed the bottle to Hux, who raised an eyebrow.

“You hide alcohol in your garage?” he asked, looking a bit ridiculous with Ben’s large coat draped over his shoulders.

“Yes. Sometimes I need inspiration.” Ben winked and opened the bottle. He held it out to Hux, who took it and wrinkled his nose.

“How long have you had this bottle? It looks chewed on. Do you suck on the top of the bottle without actually drinking?”

“Oh, don’t look so disgusted. It’s not the worst thing of mine that you’ve sucked.” Ben shrugged and Hux’s cheeks colored. At least his face looked warm now. Hux sent him a death glare and proceeded to take a long swig from the bottle.

“Huh,” he said after, the whiskey probably still burning in his throat. “That actually doesn’t taste bad.”

“Well, I do have good taste, you know.” Ben took the bottle for himself, drinking from it. His eyes fell on Hux’s bag and he snapped his fingers in its direction. “C’mon, show me. You’re half-dead because of this so the least I can do is read them.”

Hux looked at him with huge eyes, but when he realized that Ben wasn’t joking, he quickly opened his bag and pulled out the slightly wrinkled divorce papers. Ben traded them for the bottle and his heart squeezed painfully when he saw the cover. “Writ of Divorce” was printed at the top. Both of their names were underneath. And their wedding date.

God.

Ben needed to get through this somehow.

He took a deep breath and turned the page, reading the first few lines. Thankfully, Hux left him alone with the reading and didn’t attempt to talk to him. He took a few more swigs from the bottle and looked at the more or less undefined piles of metal with interest.

Ben read the papers two times, realizing that this was a very normal contract and he couldn’t see anything fishy. They’d been separated for a decade now, and Hux wasn’t attempting to get anything in the settlement. They’d leave each other’s money alone. But Hux wanted his old name back.

When Ben read _that_ particular part he could have sworn that his heart just stopped.

When he looked up from the papers, Hux was looking at him rather hopefully and expectantly. Ben sighed, folded the papers and put them to the side.

Hux’s face fell.

“Do you need a pen?” he asked Ben. “I have a pen.” He started to rummage in his bag, and Ben leaned back against the workbench.

“What’s the rush? I certainly won’t sign this here in the garage during a fucking snowstorm.”

Hux made a frustrated noise and took another swig from the bottle. It was almost empty now.

“Why do you always have to be so difficult?”

“I’m not difficult,” Ben hissed. “I just don’t want to sign it right now. I need to _think_ about it. This is a heavy decision!”

“You’ve had time to think for ten years!” Hux almost yelled. He was getting angry; Ben could see it. There were blotchy red spots on his neck, creeping up and across his face. He was lovely.

“Come here, Brenn,” Ben sighed, beckoning him closer with a hand gesture. Hux looked at him suspiciously but came closer as if Ben’s words had still some power over him.

( _”You can’t just order me around like that, Ben.”_

_“Oh, but you follow the rules so well.”_

_“Oh, don’t make this shit sexual again. No, don’t you dare. Don’t kiss me— _hmpf_ —fucking ass— shit, don’t stop._”)

“Just sign them,” Hux said when he was close. Ben looked at him, still leaning against the workbench.

“You want it so bad, Hux,” Ben told him, slipping his big hands under his own coat. Hux was wonderfully warm. Ben’s hands slid down Hux’s sides. Hux’s breath hitched, but Ben was already letting go. He pried the bottle away from Hux’s hand instead. Draining the bottle, he tried not to think about how good Hux’s body had felt. Ben’s fingertips tingled. Hux was still leaning a bit forward, seemingly frozen mid-way.

“This divorce,” said Ben. “You want it so bad. You know I can’t resist in letting you wait a bit longer. You’re so pretty when you’re angry. Murderous thoughts make your eyes sparkle.”

Hux’s eye twitched and Ben leaned forward so they were almost nose to nose.

“This isn’t the time for jokes, Ben.”

“Humor is essential to survive in this town, you know that.”

Hux snorted. “Don’t be daft. You love this town.”

Ben shrugged. He placed the empty bottle next to him on the workbench and leaned back again, leaving Hux’s personal bubble.

“Well, _love_ is such a strong word. I told you once that I loved you, and look where that got me.”

Hux flinched. It was very satisfying for Ben to see that his words still had some effect on Hux.

“So, no,” Ben continued. “I wouldn’t say that I love the town. I just never really thought about leaving, I guess— Well, I thought that one time—” Ben cringed when he thought about New York and seeing Hux there. Seeing his success and how _happy_ he had looked. Surrounded by all of his friends and probably not wasting one thought about his husband back in Alaska.

“You’d actually consider leaving Arkanis?” Hux sounded oddly hurt. “Now?”

“What do you mean ‘now’?” Ben raised one eyebrow. “I never said that I’d like to stay here forever.”

A beat of silence.

“You didn’t want to come with me ten years ago. I fucking begged you!” Hux exploded. Ben was taken aback. Hux really looked furious and he was terrifying and beautiful.

“What are you talking about?” Ben spat right back. “When did I say that? Sure, you were so caught up with your ideas about college, but I only ever said that it wasn’t possible _right now_. Back then. Fucking hell, Hux. Why are you always implying that I fucking forbade you to go to college? I only ever fucking told you that we didn’t have the money back then. If you would only have waited for another two or three fucking years. Then I would have managed most of the cabin repairs and could have concentrated on fucking getting you through your fucking higher education. But _no_. You fucking ruined it all by running away to fucking New York City. You made it pretty clear that you didn’t want me to take care of you.”

He’d been leaning forward again during his rant and noticed Hux’s sharp intake of breath. Hux’s eyes were burning with fury and—

“I can take care of myself, Ben. I don’t need to be coddled,” Hux hissed.

Ben wanted to raise his arms in frustration and then throttle Hux’s delicate neck. He refrained. Barely.

“That’s not the fucking point, Hux. Why are you using everything against me? Why? You do this every fucking time. Always putting words in my mouth. It was never my intention to deny you anything. If you would have let me, I would have given you the fucking world. If you’d have only let me.”

“The only thing I wanted was going to college, Ben. And you said no. Over and over again. Also, you never let _me_ take care of _you._ Do you have any idea how that felt? The man you love always brushing off you concerns, always saying fucking no.”

Ben had enough of this.

“No. Not always. Here you’re wrong again. I think you remember the times I very much said ‘yes.”

Hux looked like he wanted to argue that. Or like he wanted to deck Ben.

Ben smirked and opened his mouth to say something else.

“Shut _up,_ ” Hux snarled and Ben had to. And Hux probably too.

Their mouths crashed together and Ben wasted no time in placing his hands on Hux’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Hux gave a tiny sigh, breathing hot against Ben’s lips. Ben moaned and raked his hands through Hux’s red hair, tugging a few strands. Hux made another sweet noise that turned Ben on more than anything.

He was kissing Hux again. After ten years. Hux still tasted the same, his tongue still managed that special swirl that drove Ben insane. His mouth was still everything Ben had ever wanted. He bit down onto Hux’s lower lip, holding him in place with his hands when Hux wanted to pull away from the short and sharp pain.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Ben growled when he was done with Hux’s lips and turned Hux slightly, pushing him against the wall, trapping Hux between the workbench and the shelf.

“You’re not going. Not again. Never.” He pinned Hux’s wrists against the wall, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Hux’s jaw before biting down, wanting to leave a bruise. Something. Something _visible_.

“Shut up. You don’t own me,” Hux muttered. Ben decided to shut him up again with another bruising kiss.

Soon enough there were long fingers—finally—brushing under Ben’s sweater, cold fingertips stroking Ben’s hipbone and raising goosebumps over his body.

“Yes,” Ben mumbled, forehead falling on Hux’s shoulder. He breathed in deeply. Hux’s scent was intoxicating, always had been. “Touch me. Yes. _Yes._ ”

Hux didn’t hesitate. He caressed Ben, knowing every little soft spot. They both had had four years to fully explore each other’s bodies, finding out what the other one loved most. Ben gasped when Hux’s hand slid into his pants, bypassing his underwear without hesitation. They looked at each other when Hux’s hand wrapped around Ben’s half-hard cock, both of them stunned.

It all felt so natural, as if there hadn’t been ten years of silence between them. As if both of their feelings weren’t hurt.

Before either of them could hesitate or chicken out, their lips crashed together again. Ben moaned into Hux’s mouth, pressing Hux’s shoulders harder into the wall. Hux stroked his cock to full attention (it didn’t take long; Ben was too horny to be embarrassed) and Ben wanted to kneel down before him, worship Hux like he did years ago. He wanted to taste him, suck him, swallow him whole.

Because Hux deserved to be worshipped.

Ben had just forgotten it ten years ago.

He was bucking into Hux’s hand, licking into his mouth and pressing his body against Hux’s.

“Let me suck you off. Please, let me,” Ben breathed. Hux groaned, the back of his head hitting the wall.

“No,” Hux replied looking at Ben with dilated pupils. The answer surprised Ben, but he couldn’t say so because Hux’s hand twisted _just right_ and Ben was sure he went cross-eyed. “No,” Hux said again. “Shut up. Just—” He broke off, but Ben knew exactly what he meant. They’d fucked often enough to understand what the other one wanted only by _listening_.

“You just want to get fucked, don’t you?” Ben murmured, biting the hollow of Hux’s throat and pressing his palm flat against Hux’s stomach, trying to press him harder against the wall. Hux went willingly, and when Ben’s hand slid down, Hux just went boneless and made the sweetest sounds.

_Fuck_ , Ben had missed this.

“Just a proper, thorough fuck. Like you only get with me,” Ben continued and just kissed Hux again when the other man glared at him, because the _I am better than your fiancé_ was definitely implied. Ben didn’t need to think about that person now. And neither did Hux.

Ben decided to shut up and pulled down Hux’s pants instead. The ripping sound Hux’s thin underwear made was more than satisfying.

Hux opened his mouth, probably to complain about expensive clothes, but it faded into a greedy moan when Ben’s hand cupped his erection, Ben’s thumb teasing the slit. Hux moaned again and Ben tapped one creamy white thigh. Hux understood and stepped out of his pants and underwear, both of which were pooled at his ankles.

Ben did the same, though he knew that he wouldn’t have the patience to wait for Hux to get completely naked. It was probably a tad too cold for that. The two heaters could only do so much. Ben did take off his sweater, though.

It was happening.

Ben was going to fuck his husband again. He’d wanted this for so long now, wanted to be close to Hux again, just _feel_ him and forget everything else.

Their kisses were reduced to teeth meeting teeth and bites and Ben loved it.

He fumbled blindly on the shelf next to them while Hux was biting down his lip so hard that they both could taste the blood.

It took him a few seconds but he finally found the little tub of Vaseline that he usually used for greasing some of the metal. When Hux saw it, he spread his legs. That alone was so hot that Ben moaned without Hux doing anything more. Hux’s hands were on Ben’s chest, his eyes flicking between the Vaseline and Ben’s face.

Ben didn’t say anything. He just opened the tub and spread the lubricant between his fingers.

Hux’s gaze was intent, and he followed the movement of Ben’s fingers.

Ben sighed when his fingers vanished into the cleft of Hux’s ass. He circled the tight muscle of Hux’s entrance a few times before he pushed his finger in. They both moaned at the contact, and Ben’s cock twitched when he realized how relaxed Hux was, how he let Ben’s finger in without resistance. Ben knew exactly how to move the finger, and when one finger became two, he knew just the right angle; knew how to crook them to make Hux weak.

Hux’s back arched beautifully when Ben’s fingertips brushed his prostate and Ben had to kiss him again. Hux’s reciprocation was rather sloppy, but Ben didn’t mind. He concentrated on stretching Hux with his fingers, soon opening him up with three fingers.

Hux’s own fingers were digging into Ben’s shoulders; his forehead was on Ben’s shoulder. He was making keening sounds and moaning deliciously into Ben’s ear.

Soon enough, he was moving his hips back against Ben’s fingers and Ben couldn’t wait anymore. He’d waited for ten years. He’d longed for Hux’s body, his soul, everything. Just being able to _touch_ Hux again was everything and more.

When Hux’s noises became impatient and Ben was wincing because of the harsh bites on his shoulder, Ben pulled out his fingers and dipped them into the tub again. He coated his cock with lubricant, looking into Hux’s hungry eyes while he did it, and tapped Hux’s thigh again with his clean hand.

Hux nodded and wrapped his arms and legs around him.

He still weighed nothing, and since Ben had gained a bit of muscle during the last decade, it was almost too easy to lift Hux up against the wall and and guide himself to Hux’s entrance.

He didn’t look into Hux’s eyes when he pushed in. Both of them had their faces buried in the other’s shoulder when they were finally connected again.

It felt like coming home.

Ben squeezed his eyes closed, relishing the feeling of Hux all around him and breathing harshly into his ear. Ben gripped Hux’s hips, holding him in place. They both breathed in, breathed out.

And then Ben started to move.

It was fast, desperate, and everything he could have wished for.

Hux’s noises were music to his ears and the way he was clenching around his cock was addictive but Ben already knew that.

Feeling all of it again was incredible.

Ben moved to support Hux’s weight with his own thighs and pried one hand away from Hux’s hips to stroke Hux’s leaking cock. When Hux threw his head back with a loud moan, Ben latched onto his throat with his lips, not sucking, only kissing the soft skin. He tried to change his angle a bit, still fucking Hux up against the wall in short, quick thrusts.

He knew he hit the right spot when Hux tensed and then urged Ben to go on with an impatient pull on Ben’s hair.

Ben grunted and continued thrusting up into the pliant body. He wanted to complain when Hux tugged again sharply at his hair, but before he could get out any word, Hux was kissing him again. Deeply. Lovingly.

That kiss was enough for Ben and he couldn’t hold back the orgasm washing over him, even if he wanted to. Fortunately for him, Hux was as far gone as himself and came between their bodies when Ben filled him up, still thrusting up weakly.

Ben stopped moving when there was nothing more to give to Hux tensed a bit when Hux gave a weary sigh. Hux didn’t tell him to back off, though. With both of them still connected, Hux released his tight grip on Ben’s hair and laid his hand palms on Ben’s cheeks. Ben looked up and Hux smiled at him.

Ben’s heart stuttered a bit when he saw that smile and let Hux pull him in for another kiss. A chaste one, just lips on lips but feeling lovely nonetheless.

“Brenn,” Ben sighed against Hux’s lips.

Hux shushed him, and they stayed there for another minute, wrapped around each other, sweat slowly cooling their overheated bodies.

When Ben could feel Hux starting to tremble in his arms, he slowly let go of him, slipped out, and carefully set Hux down on the floor. Hux swayed, but Ben held him by the shoulders until he was steady again.

Ben did take off his shirt then, only to guide it between Hux’s legs. He wiped him clean and tossed the shirt away. He could pick it up later.

He actually did kneel down then, pulling Hux’s pants up again, after planting soft kisses on his thighs.

“C’mon,” he said with a rough voice, when Hux was dressed again. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”

He knew he was right when Hux didn’t protest. Ben slipped on his own pants again.

He took Hux’s hands and pulled him out of the garage and into the warmth of the cabin. He wanted nothing more than take Hux into his—their—bed, but instead he opened the door to the newest annex, which had only had been built three years ago, after the _n_ th complaint from Rey about his sofa.

He just opened the door for Hux, not stepping into the guestroom after his husband. Now wasn’t the time. Maybe never.

“Don’t worry. The heating is working in here. It’s the newest. Just crank it up as much as you like.”

Hux didn’t answer him. He just flopped down onto the bed, turning away. Ben knew a sign when he saw one and silently closed the door to the guestroom.

He dragged himself to his own bedroom and after a quick visit to the bathroom, he crawled into his bed (on _Hux’s_ side) and pulled the sheets over his head.

Sleep wouldn’t come for a long time.

His body was satisfied, but his mind wasn’t.

Ben craved more. So much more. He wanted to have it again. All of it.

When the clock read two in the morning, Ben suddenly jumped up, left his room and walked over to the guestroom. But he faltered in front of the door.

What was he even doing?

There was no noise coming from the guestroom. Hux was probably sleeping peacefully. It wouldn’t be in Ben’s favor if he barged in now and told Hux that he loved him still, that he was this close begging Hux to stay with him. Here.

Ben sighed and turned away again.

What a mess.

He probably should try to sleep.

Maybe the next morning would be clearer.

Ben silently walked back to his bedroom, startling Pal who had migrated to his bed during the night, and went to bed. On his side this time.

He fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

He slept so deeply that he missed the noise in front of his bedroom door. Something like a weary sigh and the soft sound of bare feet walking away from the bedroom.


	5. Hux

## Hux

_A few of the large, white bulbs on the marquis outside the movie theater were out, Hux noted as he stepped out of his mother’s Land Rover onto the curb. It didn’t prevent it from proclaiming the title of the movie and the evening showtimes, though. There was only ever one movie showing at a time in Arkanis; the theater only had one screen. It was some comedy that Hux had no interest in seeing, but Ben had asked him here._

_They had just gotten their grade for the history project they had done together—a B-plus—and Ben had wanted to take Hux out to celebrate. As he looked up at the marquis, Hux felt a touch of nervous excitement. He had never been on a date before, and there was no mistaking that that’s what this was._

_“You’ll call when you’re ready to picked up, Brennan?” his mother said from behind him._

_“Yes, Mum.”_

_“Have a good time.”_

_Hux closed the passenger door and watched her drive away. Pushing his hands into the pockets of his light spring jacket, he wandered over to the brick wall beside the doors to the theater. He watched a few people trickle in, most of them going to the concession counter to buy popcorn and soda before heading in to find their seats. Ben had said he would meet him outside and get their tickets._

_“I’m buying,” he had said as they walked out of the history classroom that afternoon. “You carried the project.”_

_Eight long minutes passed according to the clock at the bank across the street and still there was no sign of Ben. Hux scuffed the toe of his shoe along a crack in the sidewalk, a mix of anger and disappointment roiling in his gut. Surely Ben wouldn’t stand him up, not after all the trouble he had gone through to get Hux to agree to this. If he did, though, Hux would never speak to him again._

_The pounding of footsteps on the pavement had Hux looking up. Ben pulled up short next to him, panting._

_“Hey,” he said. “I’m sorry I’m late. My dad had to take the truck and my mom is working, so I had to run here.”_

_Hux cocked a brow. “You ran all the way from your house?”_

_Ben nodded. “You think I’d miss this?”_

_“For a minute I thought you might,” said Hux._

_Ben reached out and took his hand. “Not a chance. Come on, let’s go in.”_

_He paid for their tickets with a battered twenty dollar bill and offered to get snacks with the change. Hux declined. He had already eaten dinner, and he didn’t really want his mouth to taste like buttered popcorn should he end up kissing Ben. He wasn’t going to presume anything, but he liked the prospect of ignoring the movie and focusing solely on Ben’s lips._

_“So, uh, where do you want to sit?” Ben asked as they walked into the theater._

_Normally, Hux would have chosen a couple of seats near the center, not too far from the screen, but not too close, either. But now his gaze was drawn to the back row of seats against the far wall. By choosing a place there, though, he’d be making his intentions clear._

_“I don’t care,” he said. “You pick.”_

_Ben didn’t hesitate. He headed straight for the back corner. Hux had to hold back a pleased grin._

_“This okay?” Ben said as he dropped into his seat._

_“It is,” said Hux. “Have you wanted to see this movie?”_

_Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t even know what it’s about.” He looked over at Hux, a little sheepish. “I didn’t even think about it. I hope you don’t hate it.”_

_“I’m sure I won’t,” Hux said. It was only half a lie._

_The corners of Ben’s mouth turned up and his hand moved toward Hux’s. Before he could take it, though, they heard a cheerful: “Well, hello there, laddies.”_

_Hux turned to see Maz Kanata, owner of the grocery store and knitter extraordinaire, making her way down toward them. She was wearing a canary yellow sweater and green pants tucked into purple ankle boots. Her eyes looked huge behind the thick lenses of her glasses._

_“What are you two doing all the way back here?” she said, sidling up and taking the seat right next to Hux. “The screen looks like your TV at home from here. What’s the point?”_

_“Uh, sitting closer gives me a headache,” Hux said lamely._

_“It’s the racket that gives me a headache,” said Maz. “Can’t they make it so the dialog isn’t whispered and the explosions aren’t deafening?”_

_“The speakers are up here,” said Ben, “so it makes it worse. The balance is better near the center of the theater.”_

_Maz eyed him. “Is that so?”_

_Ben nodded. “Sure is.”_

_“Maybe I should go down there then,” she said, though her gaze didn’t leave him._

_“Well, I mean, you can stay here if you want,” Ben said, “but I promise you’ll like it more if you sit in the center.”_

_“Are you trying to get rid of me, boy?” Maz asked._

_“Of course...not.”_

_Maz chuckled. “You don’t have to lie to me, Ben Solo. I’d want to be left alone if I was with a handsome young man, too.”_

_Hux looked down at his feet, his cheeks burning._

_“Um, yeah,” Ben said._

_“Well, you two enjoy, then,” she said, rising. “I’d ask you to tell me what you thought of the movie later, but…” She trailed off, grinning knowingly._

_“Oh god,” Hux said when she was gone. “If she saw us, the whole town is going to know by tomorrow.”_

_Ben chewed his lip. “Are you embarrassed?”_

_“By Maz?”_

_“By me. Being out with me.”_

_A few weeks ago, Hux never would have imagined willingly hanging out with Ben, let alone coming out to the movies with him, but after the project, it was hard to remember what it had been like_ without _him around. Hux shook his head. “No. I’m not embarrassed.”_

_“Oh. That’s good.” Ben blinked, glancing down at the armrest between them. “Can I...can I hold your hand?”_

_Hux held out his open palm. “Yes.”_

_They threaded their fingers together as the theater lights dimmed and the previews rolled. Hux hardly registered them, though. He was paying more attention to the soft pressure of Ben’s thumb against the back of his hand, where he was rubbing gently. Hux’s pulse was thrumming at the contact._

_As the movie started, Hux tried to watch, but the faces of the actors blurred together, their characters’ names lost in the rush of blood in Hux’s ears. He had to remind himself to breathe steadily as he looked at Ben out of the corner of his eye. Ben was shifting in his seat, sometimes pushing his free hand through his hair. By the third time he had done it, it was mussed and a few strands were sticking to the cloth back of his seat. Hux wanted to smooth them down. But more than anything, he wanted Ben to stop fidgeting._

_Taking the hand he held, Hux guided Ben’s arm up and over his shoulder. The armrest dug into Hux’s ribs, but it brought him close enough to Ben that he could smell his shampoo. Hux leaned over to speak into Ben’s ear: “I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?”_

_“Yeah,” Ben said._

_It was a tentative touch of lips at first, but when Hux moved to deepen it, Ben opened his mouth readily. Neither of them were very practiced, but they worked to discover what the other liked in a kiss. Hux pressed his palm against Ben’s thigh while Ben curled his fingers around Hux’s shoulder to draw him in._

_“I like kissing you,” Ben said as the rest of the audience laughed at whatever was happening onscreen. “I’ve wanted to forever. I don’t want to stop.”_

_“Then don’t,” said Hux._

_When the movie ended, they finally pulled apart. Hux made a surreptitious adjustment at his belt. Fortunately, the hardness had flagged, and he was sure Ben hadn’t noticed. He had been glad for the dark, though._

_“How are you getting home?” Hux asked as they made their way toward the exit._

_“I’ll walk,” Ben replied. He smiled. “I don’t have to run this time. No one’s waiting for me at home.”_

_“My mum’s coming to get me. Why don’t we give you a ride?”_

_“You don’t have to.”_

_“I’d like to.”_

_“Okay.”_

_Hux’s mother picked up on the second ring and told him she would be there shortly. “Is it okay if we drive my friend home, too?” he asked before she could hang up. She gave a slightly irritated huff, but agreed._

_Hux and Ben sat on a bench at the front of the theater while they waited. The girl behind the concession counter came over and offered them a bag of popcorn._

_“We’re just going to throw it out otherwise,” she said._

_Ben took the bag and slid closer to Hux so they could share it. They said very little as they picked at it, but they exchanged a few smiles. When Ben bumped Hux’s knee with his, Hux leaned against him._

_“When my mum gets here,” Hux said, “could you say the rest of our friends left already?”_

_Ben blinked at him. “I guess so. Is that what you told her? That you were going out with a group?”_

_“I had to,” Hux said. “She wouldn’t like it if she knew I was just with you.”_

_“She doesn’t like me.”_

_“No, it’s not that. She doesn’t think I should have a…”_

_“Boyfriend?” said Ben._

_Hux nodded. “She doesn’t know.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Do your parents know?”_

_Ben shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno. I’ve never had a girlfriend.”_

_Hux studied the piece of popcorn he held between his forefingers and thumb. “Would they be okay with it?”_

_“I guess. Your parents wouldn’t be?”_

_“I don’t think so,” Hux said._

_Ben sighed. “So, we can’t really do this, huh? I mean, I want to, but if you’re going to get in trouble... I don’t want that for you.”_

_Hux dropped the popcorn back in the bag and touched Ben’s cheek. “No, we can do this. Let me deal with Mum.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Positive,” said Hux. “Just give me some time, okay?”_

_Ben smiled. “I’ll wait forever if I have to.”_

 

A line of sunlight cut across Hux’s face, flashing into his eyes as they cracked open. He nuzzled his face into the soft pillow beneath his head, hiding from the day. He was cocooned warmly in a pile of blankets on a soft mattress that he wanted to melt into. It was quiet around him, the sounds of honking horns and loud music from his upstairs neighbors absent. He knew he should get up to get to the studio, but he was so very comfortable. A few more minutes of sleep couldn’t hurt. As he glanced over to the bedside table to check the time, though, he didn’t see his digital clock. In its place was a framed photograph of two teenage boys, their arms around each other as they grinned at the photographer: Hux and Ben as newlyweds on their way to the reception.

Hux came fully awake, realizing that he was not in his apartment in Brooklyn, but in the cabin in Arkanis. The cabin, the garage, _Ben_. He rolled onto his back, putting a hand over his face. “Oh my god.”

He was mildly sore, the mark of what he had done yesterday evening. Christ, what had he been thinking? He was engaged, here in Arkanis to secure the divorce he should he gotten ten years ago. And yet he had been up against the wall in Ben’s dirty garage with his legs around his husband’s waist as Ben drove up into him. And, god, he had loved it. Ben was stronger than he had been, powerful enough to bear Hux’s not insubstantial weight. That was something Poe would never have been able to manage.

Hux’s chest tightened with guilt. This entire situation was a mess of infidelity. Technically, he was still married to Ben and had been unfaithful to him by seeing others without being legally divorced. It didn’t work that way, of course, since they were separated, but now he had gone and slept with his husband while promised to another man. Hux should have been ashamed of himself, and he was, but there was a little piece of his heart that relished what had happened.

He picked up his watch from the bedside table, looking at the time. It was only half past seven, but he knew he couldn’t fall back to sleep. As he sat up at the edge of the bed, his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch the day before. It didn’t help much, but he did his best to straighten his wrinkled clothes. He pulled his sweater on over his undershirt and shuffled out of the guest room in his socks.

The snow was still falling steadily outside the kitchen window when Hux walked in. The railing of the porch was lined with at least four inches of it. There was no doubt the roads were a mess despite the best efforts of Chewie and his plow truck. Unless Ben had a pair of snowshoes lying around, there was little chance Hux would be walking back to the hotel either.

Resigned to a day in the cabin, Hux went to the refrigerator and peered inside. It was well stocked with cheap beer and a few bottles of the better stuff. Hux was afraid there wouldn’t be much else, but he found a carton of eggs and a package of bacon stashed in the produce drawer. Pulling both out, he rooted around in the cabinets until he found a loaf of bread. It was on its way to being stale, but it would make for good toast.

Cracking the eggs into a bowl, Hux whisked them. He managed to find a slightly wrinkled bell pepper and a half block of cheddar cheese, which he grated into the bowl. He chopped the pepper and dropped it in as well. He threw in a little salt and black pepper, stirred it all and then poured it into the nonstick pan he had bought when he’d retrofitted the kitchen. He cooked the bacon in the heavy cast iron skillet. He assumed it was the same one he had carefully seasoned after they had received it as a wedding gift from Han.

“Hux?”

He looked up from the stove to see Ben coming through the kitchen door. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily, his hair disheveled. He wore only a low slung pair of sweatpants, the hems frayed and curling.

“It smells good in here,” Ben said.

“Breakfast in a few minutes,” said Hux. “Omelettes and bacon.”

“Mm, you’re a saint. I’m starving.”

Hux smiled one-sidedly. “You eat like a bear in the morning. I remember.”

Coming up behind him, Ben slipped a hand around his waist and pressed a brief kiss to the side of his neck. “You’re too good to me.”

Hux tensed at the contact. He slipped out of Ben’s grip to see to the toast. “It’s still snowing,” he said, searching for something to distract from the heat Ben’s touch had stirred in him.

“It’s supposed to be like this into tomorrow,” Ben said, leaning against the counter, watching Hux.

Hux held back a curse. “I have work to do. I should have brought my laptop.”

“The wireless is probably out in the storm.”

“I don’t need it. I just need to draw.”

“I’ve got pencils and paper,” Ben said. “Probably not what you’re used to, but you’re welcome to them.”

“I don’t intend to stay,” Hux said. “I really do need to go.”

“You know you can’t get anywhere in this mess.” Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “Is drawing really that important?”

Hux frowned at him. “It’s my livelihood, Ben.”

“Yeah, I know that. I just meant...is it that important to do today?”

Phasma had written an email the day before detailing just what she needed in terms of designs to get them through the next show she had lined up. “The collection is taking off, Hux,” she had said. “I need you back here as soon as possible.”

He had promised her he would come back to New York promptly, but in the meantime he’d get her the new drawings. He had more than enough ideas; he just needed to put them on paper. Or on his laptop to send to her.

“It really is,” Hux said to Ben.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll get you that paper.”

The toast popped up, browned and smelling good. Hux pulled it out and tossed it onto the two plates he had found in the cabinet. He pushed one into Ben’s hands as he returned to the stove. He dished up the omelette and put two pieces of bacon on his plate and four on Ben’s.

“Damn,” Hux said. “I forgot to make coffee.”

“I’ll get it,” said Ben. “Go eat.”

Hux pushed the door open with his hip and went into the dining room. He, of course, had forgotten a fork as well, so he returned to the kitchen. Ben was standing at the counter opposite, his broad, bare back on display as he rested his palms next to the coffee maker. Hux looked over him, the smooth taper of his waist down to square hips that the sweatpants were barely clinging to. He was beautiful, powerful in a way he hadn’t been when Hux had left.

“Like what you see?” Ben asked, turning. He cocked a brow.

“I, ah,” Hux stammered. “Well, you look...good.”

Ben grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yes. You’d make an excellent hanger for one of my suits.”

“A hanger?” Ben said. “Is that seriously what you call your models?”

“Not to their faces,” Hux said. “That would be rude.”

Ben huffed. “So, a model, huh? I bet I could do that.” He puckered his lips and gave Hux a ridiculous attempt at a smoulder. He flexed his biceps and posed.

Hux pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “You’d need a little coaching, but Phasma could whip you into shape.”

“I _am_ in shape,” Ben said. “I go to the gym in town five days a week. Two hour sessions.”

“Not exactly what I meant, but…” Hux eyed him. “When did you start working out so much?”

Ben looked down. “A couple months after you left.”

“Oh.”

“I was a good distraction. Better than whiskey. It kept me busy. I ran a lot with Pal, lifted some weights. I just kept doing it.”

“That’s good,” said Hux. “It, ah, paid off.”

“Thanks.”

The coffee machine sputtered through its last bits of water.

“Go sit down,” said Ben. “I’ll bring it to you. You still want half a gallon of milk in it?”

Hux chuckled. “Yes, please.”

Picking up Ben’s plate and a pair of forks, he carried them into the dining room and set them down next to his. Ben followed with two steaming cups of coffee. Hux shook his head as he saw the familiar Darth Vader mug Rey had gotten Ben as a joke for his graduation. He had always loved Star Wars.

“You still make the best omelettes,” Ben said as he dug into the food.

“It could use some onions and mushrooms,” said Hux, “but it’s good enough.”

Ben crunched on a piece of bacon, leaning his elbow on the table. “I miss your cooking. And I’m sorry I messed up the dinner you made before.”

“I didn’t really expect you to eat it,” Hux said. “I was being an ass. I really do apologize about the kitchen. And the dining room table.”

“I told you I like it,” said Ben. “Looks better with you here, though.”

Hux pushed his bacon around on his plate. “You know I can’t stay.”

“What about yesterday?”

“Yesterday was a mistake. I shouldn’t have allowed things to go that far.”

Ben looked over at him. “But you did.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?”

Hux wet his lips. “I don’t know. I just got caught up. It was like it used to be. We were fighting and then it just happened.”

“Nothing ‘just happens’ with you, Hux,” said Ben. “You think too much.”

“This did. I wasn’t thinking at all.”

“But now you’re thinking about it. Regretting it.”

Hux looked sharply up at him. “Did you expect me not to? I’m engaged to someone else.”

Ben reached out and cupped his jaw. “Did you ever think _that_ might be the mistake?”

“Don’t do this,” said Hux. He raised his hand to pull Ben’s away, but his fingers lingered, almost holding him there.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Ben said, leaning in. “I’m your husband. You can have whatever you want from me.”

Hux’s resolve broke. He crossed the distance between them and kissed Ben hard. Ben’s arms came around him, pulling him in. The heat of Ben’s mouth was searing, igniting Hux’s blood and making him hyper-aware of all the places they were connected, from Ben’s hands at his back to Hux’s in Ben’s hair.

“Get over here,” Ben said, tugging at Hux’s thighs until he moved over into Ben’s lap. Ben took a firm hold of his ass, rolling his hips into Hux’s. He nipped at Hux’s jaw, their morning stubble scratching together. “Baby.”

Hux drew in a sharp breath at the rumbled endearment. He clutched at Ben’s back, pressing himself against him. He slid his tongue between Ben’s lips, exploring his mouth in bold strokes. Ben groaned.

“Stand up.”

Hux pulled back, looking at him quizzically.

“Go on,” Ben said. “Please.”

Hux rose, his back to the table. The legs scraped across the wood floor as Ben pushed his chair back. He dropped to his knees in front of Hux.

“Oh, god,” Hux breathed as Ben undid the button of his pants and pulled the zipper down. Hux helped him to push the pants over his hips until they pooled at his feet. Ben grinned as he squeezed Hux’s ass over the soft fabric of his boxer briefs. His fingertips trailed along the waistband before pulling them down as well.

Hux’s cock sprang free, hard and just at the level of Ben’s mouth. Ben curled his hands around the backs of Hux’s thighs, then he bent his head and licked a trail up Hux’s length.

“Jesus,” Hux cursed, grasping the table to steady himself.

Ben hummed and took Hux into his mouth. Hux groaned, his voice already ragged. Ben was gentle at first, teasing as he swirled his tongue along the sensitive underside of Hux’s cock. Hux let him do what he wanted, leaning back against the table. When Ben relaxed his throat and took Hux as deep as he could, though, Hux cried out, fisting a hand in Ben’s hair.

“Like that,” he said. “Just like that.”

Ben redoubled his efforts, making wet, salacious sounds. Unable to hold back, Hux gave small pumps of his hips, pushing himself deeper. Ben gagged.

“I’m sorry,” said Hux.

Ben pulled back enough to speak. “Do it again. I can take it.”

Hux did, thrusting into Ben’s mouth. He was careful not to hurt him, but let himself enjoy the sensations that were building up to his release. He made small noises of pleasure, gave quiet praise. Ben slid his right hand up along the cleft of Hux’s ass and then between the cheeks.

“Fuck,” Hux said as the tip of Ben’s finger slid into him. Ben pushed further until he could crook that finger. Hux gasped and went over the edge. Ben took what Hux gave him, the pull of each swallow sending aftershocks up Hux’s spine.

“Come here,” Hux said when he had recovered. He took Ben’s face between his hands and guided him up. Hux kissed him, tasting the saltiness of his come on Ben’s lips. “Bedroom?”

“Hell yes,” said Ben. He grabbed Hux’s hand. Hux stepped out of his pants and left them lying on the dining room floor. He followed Ben to the room they had once shared.

It was brighter inside than Hux remembered and bigger, too. It seemed it had been expanded during Ben’s renovations. There were two large windows on the far wall facing the woods behind the cabin. The snow was still falling steadily outside.

A touch at Hux’s waist had him turning back to Ben, who pushed his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. He ran his palms up Hux’s chest, pausing to rub his thumbs over his nipples. Hux shuddered.

“You still like that,” Ben said, smiling. “I used to wake you up with it. It always got you hard faster than anything else.”

Hux gave him a look. “Do you want me to congratulate you on remembering?”

Ben nuzzled his ear. “No, I just want to get you off again while I’m inside you.”

“When did you start talking like that?” Hux asked.

“Do you like it?”

“I don’t hate it.”

“Then lie down so I can fuck you,” Ben said.

Hux’s lips parted, his eyes widening. “Jesus, Ben.”

He pushed Hux toward the bed, hands at his waist. He stopped as the backs of Hux’s knees met the mattress and Hux sat down. He dropped the sweatpants, leaving him completely bare.

Hux hadn’t gotten a proper look at him the day before, their coupling had been too frantic. But he looked now, appreciating the graceful lines of his legs and his long arms. His cock was heavy between his thighs, the hair around it neatly trimmed. Hux tried not to compare his lovers’ attributes, but he had never found another to match Ben. And the way he felt when he was inside Hux… No one else had managed to make him feel the same way.

Ben reached over to the bedside table and pulled the drawer open. He produced a small bottle of lubricant.

“Is that all?” Hux said.

Ben’s brows knit for a moment before he understood. “I don’t have condoms around usually. It’s, uh, been a while. And we never used to use them.”

“Neither of us had ever slept with anyone else.”

“I’m clean,” said Ben.

“I know you are,” Hux said. “So am I. It’s just the principle of the thing.”

“Does it really bother you?”

Hux shook his head and scooted back on the bed. He held his arms out. “Come here, Ben.”

Ben crawled toward him until he was hovering just above. He landed a kiss on Hux’s lips, catching the lower between his teeth and biting down. Hux reached between them and wrapped his hand around Ben’s cock. He stroked him languidly, bringing him to full hardness. Hux thumbed the head, and Ben gasped.

“I remember things, too,” Hux said as he trailed kisses along Ben’s collarbone. Sliding his hand between Ben’s legs, he massaged his testicles, pressing his fingers to the space just behind them.

“God, yes,” Ben said.

“If I wanted you,” said Hux, “all I had to do was touch you here and you’d be begging for it.”

“You want me to beg?”

Hux sucked at his neck. “That won’t be necessary.”

Ben caressed Hux’s side. “I would.”

“I know.” Going to the bottle lying beside them, Hux flipped the cap up. “Hold out your hand.”

Ben did as he was told, and Hux poured lubricant into it. Ben spread it around, coating his forefingers.

“Can you take two?”

Hux nodded. His body was still loose from the day before. He parted his thighs, an invitation. Ben, kneeling between them, pressed the fingers into him with little preamble. Hux threw his head back, mouth open.

“Does that feel good, baby?” Ben asked.

Hux gave a soft grunt of assent.

Ben pushed his fingers deep, curling them the way Hux needed. “Say it.”

“It feels good,” said Hux. “Keep going.”

“Touch yourself.”

Hux looked up. “I can’t come again.”

Ben gave a twist of his fingers that made Hux cry out. “Yes, you can.”

The dark timbre of Ben’s voice had Hux taking himself in hand again. He wasn’t yet half-hard, but as Ben worked in a third finger, dragging them out of Hux’s body and then moving back in, Hux filled out in his own palm. He hadn’t come twice since he was a teenager; since he had last been with Ben.

“Turn around,” Ben said as he withdrew.

Hux held back an amused smile. He should have expected this; Ben had always liked taking him from behind. Hux flipped onto his stomach. Ben took him by the hips and hauled him up until Hux could feel Ben’s cock pressed against his cleft.

Ben took the lubricant and slicked himself hurriedly. “Are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Hux pinched his eyes closed as Ben pushed in, filling and stretching him.

“Oh, god, Hux. That’s incredible. Nobody feels like you. Nobody.”

Hux felt the flush rising in his face, burning down his neck and chest in red splotches. Ben touched his back, his hands warm and slightly calloused. Hux trembled beneath them.

“Move, Ben,” he said.

“Not yet. Just let me stay here for a second. Just a second…” Ben leaned down, covering Hux. His breath was humid on the back of Hux’s neck. As he kissed the nape, he rolled his hips, making Hux groan, long and slow.

Ben set a steady pace, each stroke deep. His hands roamed over as much of Hux as possible, finally settling at his cock. He moved in time with his thrusts, bringing Hux to the precipice again.

“Come for me,” Ben said. “I want to feel you around me when you come.”

“Just a little more,” Hux panted. “A little faster. Ah, god. There. There, Ben!” His abdominal muscles contracted as he came across the bedspread below them.

“That’s it, baby,” Ben said as he worked Hux through it.

Hux’s heart was hammering, his breath coming up short, but he managed to say, “You now.”

“Anything you want,” said Ben as he drove into Hux again. It took no more than three more thrusts before he was shouting, hips stuttering as he came. Hux tightened around him, clutching.

When, at last, he quieted, Hux glanced over his shoulder at him. His head was hanging, his hair all around his face.

“Are you all right?” Hux asked.

Ben met his eyes with a wonderstruck expression, as if he were seeing Hux for the first time.

“Ben?”

Drawing out, Ben pulled Hux up to face him. He held his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been better. I’ve missed this _so much_.”

Hux blinked at him. “I missed you, too.”

Ben smiled into the kiss.

“We should clean up,” Hux said when they broke. “I need to draw.”

Ben looked at him as if he didn’t understand for a moment, but seemed to realize what he meant. “Oh, yeah. You said that. Okay, let’s take a shower and then I’ll get you some paper.”

He led the way to the bathroom, turning on the water. Once the water was running hot, he gestured for Hux to go in first. He stepped into the spray, sighing as it washed over him.

“You going to hog it the whole time?” Ben said.

“I’ll take my time. I just let you fuck me.”

Ben wrapped his arms around Hux’s waist. “And I made you come twice. Don’t I deserve a little water?”

“Fine,” Hux said, stepping out of the way. He reached for the shampoo.

“No, let me,” said Ben. “You used to like it when I washed your hair.”

Hux handed him the bottle. Ben squeezed some out and began to work it into Hux’s hair. Hux closed his eyes, enjoying the scratch of Ben’s short nails on his scalp. No one other than the hairdressers Hux went to every few weeks had done this in a decade.

“What are you going to draw?” Ben asked as he scrubbed.

“My new casual line,” Hux replied. “Saks is going to carry the semi-formals, but they wanted something more practical for day-to-day wear, too.”

“Like jeans and t-shirts?”

Hux smiled. “Not quite. Think pressed shirts, blazers, and slacks.”

“So, fancy stuff?”

“Fancy for Arkanis, maybe.”

“Hm,” said Ben. “Well, I guess no one here would be caught in one of those three-piece suits you have in your shows.”

Hux glanced back at him. “What do you know about my shows?”

Ben’s hands fell away from Hux’s head. “Nothing.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” said Hux, turning.

Ben steered him under the water again to wash the soap from his hair.

“You can’t dodge this,” Hux said. “What did you mean? Have you seen my work online?”

“I…I came to New York once,” said Ben. “Right after your graduated from school. It was your final showcase. At least I think that’s what they called it.”

Hux’s jaw dropped. “You came to my showcase?”

Ben nodded, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I mean, why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“I tried, but I saw you with all your friends and I knew I didn’t fit in with them. So, I left. Came back here.” Ben smiled wanly. “But your show was amazing.”

Hux’s chest tightened with a mix of pleasure and pain. He never would have imagined that Ben would have come to see his work or to see him. Right after he had gone, part of him had hoped that Ben would come after him. Hux liked to think that maybe after he saw New York and how much it meant to Hux to be there, he would understand. But he had never come. Or so Hux had thought.

“You should have told me,” he said quietly.

“I know,” said Ben. “But I just couldn’t. You looked so good, so happy. You didn’t need me.”

“But it would have meant so much to see you,” said Hux. “Things might have been different.”

Ben touched his upper arm. “How? Would you have taken me back?”

“Is that what you wanted?”

“Of course, it was. All I’ve ever wanted was you.”

Hux took a deep breath.

“But you wanted more,” Ben said. “I didn’t get it back then, but I do now. You deserved more than I could give you.”

“I wanted more, yes,” said Hux, “but I wanted you, too.”

“And now?”

Hux wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t know. This is...complicated.”

“Do you love him? The guy you’re supposed to marry.”

“I care about him very deeply.”

Ben cupped his cheek. “That’s not what I asked.”

“I think so,” Hux said. “But the only concept of love I have is what I had with you. And there’s nothing else like that.”

“I know,” Ben sighed.

They fell silent then, neither looking at the other. Picking up the shampoo, Hux set to washing Ben’s hair. Ben allowed it. They scrubbed their bodies clean with a bar of soap, passing it between them. When the water finally began to cool, Hux shut it off. Before he could step out of the shower, though, Ben caught him by the shoulders.

“If you still want marry him, I’ll sign the papers,” he said, “but do me this one favor. Think about what this feels like. Will you do that for me, Hux?”

“I will,” Hux said.

Ben gave him a last squeeze and then stepped out of the shower. Hux went after him, accepting the fresh towel Ben pulled from the linen closet. He dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.

“You wouldn’t happen to have an extra razor?” he asked Ben.

Ben produced a disposable one from the cabinet under the sink. “You’d look good with a beard, you know. All bushy and red.”

Hux shot him a sidelong look. “It’s so itchy.”

Ben scratched at his chin as if in sympathy. “I tried to grow a goatee last year. It, uh, didn’t really work. It looked kind of straggly.”

“Have any pictures of that?” Hux asked.

“Hell no. I deleted them all. Leave no trace.”

Hux laughed as he squirted some shaving cream into his hand. He spread it over his face and set to shaving. Ben did as well. Hux couldn’t help but think of the mornings they had spent together doing just this. When Ben hadn’t been pulling double shifts at the pumping station, of course.

“When did you quit working at the station?” Hux asked, washing the ruddy hair from the razor.

“About three years ago,” Ben replied.

“And you’re doing what now? You did have a fair amount of money in your account. More that you could have earned at the station.”

“This and that,” said Ben, scraping his jaw with his own razor.

Hux lifted a brow. “Are you certain it isn’t illegal? Working for the mafia or something?”

“The Arkanis mafia?”

“Okay, well maybe not that, but—”

“It’s kind of personal,” said Ben.

Hux could tell when he was being told to drop it. “All right.”

“You seem like you’re doing okay yourself.”

“I got a hefty advance when I sold my collection to Saks,” Hux said. “Enough to buy a bigger studio. Maybe move into Manhattan.”

“That’s exciting, huh?” Ben asked.

Hux nodded. “It is.”

As they finished shaving, Ben offered Hux a toothbrush still in the packaging.

“Do you have guests often?” Hux said, feeling a strange sting in his chest. He had no business disapproving of anyone Ben had been with since he had left.

“Not really,” Ben said. “Razors and toothbrushes were on sale at Maz’s a couple of weeks ago. I stocked up.”

Hux refused to acknowledge the relief.

“You want to borrow something clean to wear?”

“Just a shirt maybe. I don’t think I’ll fit into any of your pants.”

Ben headed out of the bathroom. Hux leaned on the sink, examining his reflection in the foggy mirror. He was admittedly confused. Everything about this should have put him off, made him feel guilty in the extreme, yet he didn’t. Being with Ben again was familiar, comfortable.

“Here you go,” Ben said. He held out a white t-shirt and a sweatshirt that read “Class of 2004” in faded letters. A list of names was on the back, Hux’s and Ben’s included.

Hux pulled both over his head, but wore the towel out into the dining room to retrieve his pants and underwear. Ben was dressed when he appeared again, and he was carrying a stack of printer paper and few pencils.

“You want to sit at the table?” he said.

“That will work,” said Hux.

“Okay. I’m just, uh, going to watch a movie. Will that bother you?”

“No, it’s fine.” He took the paper from Ben. “Thank you.”

“Sure. I’m going to light a fire.” He smiled. “I don’t want you to be cold.”

Hux smiled in return. “I appreciate that.”

“I’ll just get some wood and let Pal out.” With that, Ben headed for the door. He pulled on his boots and jacket and headed out into the storm.

Hux watched him out the large windows until he disappeared around the corner of the house to where the woodshed was. Sitting down at the table, Hux tapped the end of the pencil against the wood. Then he began to sketch. He drew the form first, the rough representation of a model to hang the clothes on.

He was halfway done with the first design when Ben came stomping back into the house carrying an armload of logs. His dark hair was dusted with snow, the still-damp ends crusted with ice. He toed his shoes off before making his way across the living room to the fireplace. He set the logs in place and packed newspaper around them. He struck a match, blowing on the paper until it caught fire. Soon enough the flames were crackling pleasantly.

Ben kept the volume on his movie fairly low to keep from disturbing Hux. He sprawled out on the sofa, his feet propped up on the arm and a throw pillow behind his head. Pal was sleeping on the floor next to him. Hux cast the occasional glance at them as he worked, though he kept most of his attention on the drawings.

Several hours later, when the credits of the movie were rolling, Ben got up and stretched. “You hungry?” he asked Hux.

“I could eat. Do you want me to cook something?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. Are sandwiches okay?”

“Absolutely.”

It only took a few minutes for Ben to assemble the sandwiches. He set one down beside Hux. It turned out to be ham with lettuce and tomato. Hux thanked him.

Sitting next to him, Ben leaned over to look at the drawings Hux had finished. “These are new the collection, huh? They’re really good.”

“They’re just the rough outlines. I’ll refine them later when we actually have to start putting them together.”

“Do you do the sewing yourself?”

“Not anymore. My assistants take care of it. Mitaka and Thanisson are very good.”

“Did you go to school with them?”

“I met them at a school function, but they aren’t designers themselves. But they can make a fine suit.”

Ben slid one of the sketches over, one of a button-down shirt with a design on the breast pocket. A loose jacket hung over it. “I think I could pull this off.”

“You could,” said Hux. “Easily. I was, ah, thinking of you when I drew it.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’d very much like to see you wear some of my work.”

Ben grinned. “I’d like that, too.”

They ate, then, saying little. Hux polished off his sandwich, wiping his fingers and lips with the paper towel Ben had brought out.

“I’d like to show you something,” Ben said when they had taken their dishes to the kitchen and put them in the new dishwasher.

Intrigued, Hux said, “All right.”

“Grab your coat. We have to go out to the garage.”

Bundled up in his coat, hat, gloves, and an extra scarf that Ben gave him, Hux followed him outside. Pal trotted along beside them. The snow had let up a little, but there was no doubt that roads were still impassible. They could see their breath in the garage.

Hux glanced around at the scattered pieces of metal, wondering what they were. Ben had been welding some of the them together when Hux had first arrived. Maybe he was building something. He was about to ask when he spotted the snowmobile parked in the corner. Irritation flared up in his gut.

“You have a snowmobile,” he said.

“Yeah,” Ben said. “Everyone in this town does. It’s the only way to get around when it really snows. You know that.”

“Yes, I do. And what is it doing right now? Snowing.” He gestured to the snowmobile. “You could have taken me back to the hotel on this hours ago.”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I could have.”

Hux glared. “You knew I need to get back, that I had work to do.”

“I know, but…”

“You wanted to keep me here.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Ben snapped.

“Yes! I had things to do. I have a deadline.”

Ben threw his arms up angrily. “It can’t wait a single day? Dammit, Hux, I just wanted to spend some time with you before you leave again. And I _know_ you’re going.”

“Of course, I am,” said Hux. “I have a life in New York. I’m never going to stay in Arkanis.”

Ben flinched as if struck. “So, you’ve made your decision. You pick him.”

“I...I still have to think about things. But you know I couldn’t come back here. If I want to design, I have to be in New York.” He searched Ben’s face, his hard expression. “Would you leave if I asked you to?”

“I don’t know,” Ben said. “This is home. Everything is here. Family, friends, work.”

“Then you know we couldn’t be together.” Hux sighed. “Take me back to the hotel, Ben. I can’t be here anymore. Not right now.”

“Okay.” Going over the garage door, Ben raised it. Snow and bitter wind blew in. “Go get your stuff. I’ll take you.”

Hux went back into the house to retrieve his bag and the sketches. He pulled the slightly battered divorce papers out and set them on the table. Ben had said he would sign them if Hux wanted him to. Knowing now that Hux wouldn’t consider leaving New York, he had to.

When Hux got back outside, Ben had moved the snowmobile out into the driveway and was already sitting astride it. He handed Hux a pair of goggles as Hux got on behind him. Ben turned over the engine and they were off.

Hux’s face was stiff with cold when they finally pulled up outside the Millennium. He slid off the snowmobile and gave the goggles back to Ben.

“I’ll...see you later,” he said over the noise of the idling engine.

“Yeah,” said Ben. “See you.” He shifted into gear and sped off, leaving a track in the fresh fallen powder.

The hotel was blessedly warm as Hux walked in. Rey was at the front desk. She scowled at him as he approached.

“Was that Ben?” she asked.

“Yes,” Hux replied.

“You were with him last night. You didn’t come back here.”

“It was snowing too hard.”

“Please. You could have come back. What were you doing with him?”

Hux frowned. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Oh my god. You slept with him.”

“Piss off, Rey.”

“Hux, how could you?” she said. “Don’t you know what that’s going to do to him? You’re giving him hope. When you leave it’s going to destroy him. _Again_. God, you’re so selfish; it’s unbelievable.”

Hux held back an outward wince, but just barely. It wasn’t at the insult; he was certain she was right. What he had done with Ben was self-indulgent and cruel. But it had felt so good.

“I’m going to my room and I don’t want to be disturbed,” he said.

“Fine by me,” said Rey. “I don’t want to talk to you anyway.”

“Likewise. I’m sure you’d just see fit to tell me off again.”

“You’re damn right. You’d deserve it, too.”

Hux shook his head. “Goodbye, Rey.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Hux’s room seemed sterile and cold compared to the hominess of the cabin. As he took off his coat and hung it up, he realized he was still wearing Ben’s sweatshirt and that he had left his sweater. It didn’t matter really, though; it was replaceable.

Hux picked up his phone, which he had left on the table beside the bed. There were four missed calls, two from Phasma and two from Poe. Hux’s stomach clenched. His fiancé had been trying to get ahold of him while he had been in Ben’s arms. Dropping down at the edge of the bed, he tapped the screen to return the call.

“Honey,” Poe said when he picked up. “There you are.”

“Hello,” said Hux. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer before. Things have been busy here.”

“I figured that. Though I still don’t know where ‘here’ is.”

Hux sighed. “I’m in Alaska. My hometown.”

“Wow,” Poe said, sounding surprised. “Are you there to see your family?”

“Some friends, really. There were some things I had to take care of.”

“Sure, honey. What’s it like up there? You’ve never said much about where you’re from.”

“Well, there’s not much to tell,” Hux said. “It’s a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I was lucky to get out.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Poe said. “I kind of wish I had grown up outside the city.”

Hux smiled. “Liar. You love Manhattan. You’d never leave.”

“Okay, you’ve got me there. I’d like to see your hometown, though.”

“Maybe you could,” Hux said, an idea coming to him. Rey was right that he was jerking Ben around, doing things he shouldn’t do, pretending he was back with him again when he was only going to leave. Ben was his past. He was too tied to Arkanis. Hux belonged with Poe in New York, he was certain of it now. And the faster he sealed the deal, the faster he would be free of whatever lingering feelings he had for his soon-to-be ex husband.

“I was thinking,” he said, “that maybe you could come out here and we could get married now. A kind of elopement. We can still have the big ceremony in May, but we could make it official sooner.”

“You’re serious?” Poe asked.

“Ah, yes, I am.”

“Oh, honey, yes. I’d marry you tomorrow; today if I could. When do you want me to fly out there?”

“The end of the week?” said Hux.

“Absolutely. I’ll be there.”

Hux explained to him about catching the local plane from the airport in Fairbanks. Poe booked his ticket as Hux talked him through it.

“I can’t wait to see you, Hux,” Poe said. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Okay, honey. Call me tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“Great. I love you.”

Hux hesitated for a moment, but then said, “You, too.”

He dropped the phone on the bed as he fell back onto it. This was a good thing. It would solve everything. Ben would sign the papers and Hux would be free to marry Poe. Yet, as he stared at the ceiling, all he could think about was what Ben had wanted to show him in the garage. Hux regretted that he hadn’t gotten a chance to see it.


	6. Ben

## Ben

_  
“She likes you, you know.”_

_Ben opened one eye and immediately closed it again when the bright sun threatened to burn his retina away. He sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around Hux. They both had skipped P.E. and were lounging on the bleachers in the sun. Three more weeks and junior year would finally be done. Ben couldn’t wait for the summer; he’d already made plans. He definitely wanted to go hiking with Hux. Or at least take him across the border. He’d saved up enough to invite Hux on a three-day Anchorage trip at least. He hadn’t asked Hux yet and they probably would have to lie to Hux’s parents because of that but…he really wanted to._

_“Who?” he finally asked, kissing Hux’s temple._

_“Jess. She’s swooning and worshipping the ground you walking on. Didn’t you notice how she always refilled your cup or brought you the BBQ during Rey’s birthday party?”_

_“Hux, what on earth?” Ben chuckled and played with the soft, golden hair on Hux’s left forearm. “What brought that up? Since when are you jealous? In case you didn’t know, you’re the more popular and prettier one.”_

_“Shut up, Ben. You’re so blind. You never notice shit.”_

_“What the hell. You’re like a hissing cat. You’re behaving like I’m going to run away and fuck the next fucking girl.”_

_“Language, Ben.”_

_“Language, my ass.”_

_“Looking forward doing that.”_

_“What.”_

_“What.”_

_Ben laughed, opened his eyes, and placed his hand under Hux’s chin to gently turn his head so he could kiss his soft lips. They were warm from the sun and the tea Hux had been sipping. Ben sighed happily and looked into Hux’s eyes, their foreheads touching._

_“Don’t be jealous. I only love you. Forever you. You could leave me and it’d still be you. Promise,” he said quietly._

_Hux frowned. “Don’t say that. I’m not going to leave you.”_

_Ben smiled. “Good,” he said, and kissed him again.  
_

Uncle Chewie had worked miracles that morning, Ben thought as he made his way through the streets, cursing because even he and his truck struggled to not slide off the road and land in a snowbank. It had stopped snowing the night before but even for this month it was an unusually large amount of snow. He needed half an hour longer to get to the the mini cargo airport his dad ran. There was a plane with some cargo that Ben needed due in an hour. He hoped it got the permission to land. He wasn’t interested in driving for five hours just because he was snobbish enough to work with only this particular type of metal. 

His dad’s plane wasn’t on the field when he pulled up, so there was a good chance that the recent shipment had already been brought here and Han was already en route for his next tour.

Ben shivered when he got out of the car. Pal jumped from the passenger’s seat and ran over to the big, closed doors of the hangar, starting to scratch at them. Ben followed him, knocking on the white doors. When there wasn’t an answer, Ben realized that not even Uncle Chewie was here. He fumbled in his coat pocket for the spare key that Han had given him and wrenched it into the slightly iced-over keyhole. He sighed in relief when the key worked quickly and he could slide one of the hangar doors to the side. Pal squeezed inside before even Ben could open it completely.

Ben slipped inside behind the dog and quickly closed the doors again. He looked around, seeing Chewie’s plow truck and Han’s second plane parked. Ben followed Pal through the hangar and looked through the windows of the small room at the other end. Nobody was here. There was a Post-It pinned to the door, though.

_Ben—_

_Got a call to jump in for Bill and take some passengers. I’ll change the route and pick up the cargo you ordered._

_Flight plan says I should be back at 11._

_Dad_

 

Ben looked at his watch. 10.36. He snatched the Post-It and opened the door to the small room. Pal immediately sniffed at the cupboard that always held Han’s dog treats. Ben crouched down and pulled out the box with the treats, feeding Pal three of them. Pal munched away happily and then flopped down on the old blanket that was lying in one corner. He had been sleeping on it since he was a puppy. 

Ben walked over to the ancient coffee machine and managed to make himself a decent cup of coffee. He snorted when the only clean mug was the one he gave his dad ages ago. The way Leia’s lips had pinched when she had seen it had been hilarious. The cup read: _My cockpit is enormous_. 

( _”You’re not seriously considering giving that to your father, are you, Ben?”_

_“Babe, I know that Dad will appreciate the humor.”_

_“This is terrible.”_

_“Just like this whole family is.”_

_“Hey now, you forget that_ I _am a Solo now, too.”_ )

He sat down on his dad’s executive chair behind a chaotic desk covered with flight and cargo plans and sipped the coffee, wondering what passengers his dad had talked about. It was rare that he took passengers with him, so it must have been rather spontaneous. There only was one event in Arkanis this week that could bring tourists out to bumfuck nowhere.

Ben winced and took a rather large gulp of his coffee that burned down his throat and watered his eyes.

He coughed and put the mug down on on the table. Groaning, he closed his eyes and leaned back in the old chair. It creaked with a worrying tone. Ben thought about what Rey had told him the night before. She’d visited him in the evening, saying snidely that Hux had admitted that he’d spent the night. Ben had just told her to spare it, he was fine, and Hux had decided anyway.

“That he has indeed,” Rey had said. “He’s going to marry in a few days. Here. As if he wants to rub it into your face. I can’t believe he’s a worse asshole than a decade ago.”

Ben’s heart had broken at the news and he had invited Rey for a drink. Drinks. Many of them.

Hence the much needed coffee right now.

Sighing, he opened his eyes again and stared at the white ceiling. 

Typical Brenn.

Always punching Ben right into the face with his actions. But this was a low blow even for Hux. Having exquisite sex with him (as always), then getting angry again (as always), running away (as always), and then apparently inviting his finacé here to marry him in front of the town’s eyes. To rub it in Ben’s face.

This was one of the few times when Ben regretted ever falling in love with Hux. 

Because Hux would always bulldoze through until he had his way.

Always.

Hux marrying his guy in a panic told Ben another thing, though.

Hux panicking always meant that he was hiding his feelings. Ben _knew_ that Hux still felt something for Ben. How could he not? He could have easily bullied Ben into signing the divorce papers during the last decade but he didn’t. And usually Hux was a decent guy. He wouldn’t have slept with Ben just like that.

But it wouldn’t do anything good to dwell on that now.

His feelings for this other guy were stronger. And Ben had waited for him for ten years. He did have some hope when Hux had come back to town, but Ben apparently wasn’t worth more than a nostalgic fuck.

Ben could do better. He _had_ to do better

He was so fucking _done_ with hurting.

Fiddling with his phone, Ben tried to distract himself from the thoughts of Hux’s upcoming wedding. But his mind always wandered back. 

Shit.

Maybe he should get out of here. Drive to Anchorage, indulge in a nice hotel room for the weekend. Just relaxing and ignoring what was going on back in his hometown. 

He looked up when he could hear the hangar door open. He had been so lost in thoughts that he hadn’t even heard the plane landing. Han looked straight to the room where he was sitting and gave him a wave until he vanished again. One minute later, his plane rolled in and parked in the indicated spot. Ben got up from the chair and whistled for Pal to follow him. He walked over to the plane and helped Han unload the cargo. He could see two people climbing out of the plane out of the corner of his eyes, but ignored them. 

Well, he wanted to.

“Benny,” Han told him when Ben inspected the cargo intended for him. Everything seemed all right and he could load it on his truck. “Let me introduce you to Poe and Phasma. They are friends of Brenn and are here for…”

Han trailed off and Ben briefly wondered if Han had told them that he was technically Hux’s father-in-law. Probably not. Han may not be the best conversationalist, but he _was_ married to Leia and that had taught him to not barge into...inconvenient topics.

These Phasma and Poe people looked at Ben neutrally enough, so Ben mused that Han had done the right thing and stayed mum. 

“Anyway,” Han continued, “could you give them a ride into town? I have stuff to do here and Chewie isn’t coming by for another couple of hours. And I guess they don’t want to walk into town. That probably would take them a while…” Han looked at the woman’s killer heels and the man’s designer shoes that definitely weren’t made for walking around in the snow. Ben tried not to sneer at them. He thought that with Hux in town Arkanis had its fill of snobby New Yorkers, but now these two were here.

Instead, he just nodded and held out his hand to them.

“Ben Solo, nice to meet you,” he told them.

The man beamed at him. “Poe Dameron. It’s so nice of you to drive us into town. I suggested an Uber but your father said that isn’t a thing here.”

“Yeah, no,” Ben said awkwardly, shaking his hand. “That definitely isn’t a thing.”

He turned to the woman—Phasma—and shook her hand, too. 

“Thanks,” she said.

Ben nodded and then asked them to wait for a second. He drove his truck into the hangar then, so he could load it up. Interestingly enough, Phasma helped him load the material into the back of his truck. She killed it, in fact, more boxes than Ben and not even swaying in her heels. Poe was chatting up Han about Arkanis and if there was any sightseeing possible. _And_ if there were any nice houses on sale since his husband was from here.

Ben almost dropped the last five boxes and only didn’t break his foot because Phasma grabbed the boxes for him with one hand and steadied him with the other, asking him if he was okay. Ben ignored her and turned around to Poe and Han. Poe was smiling easily and Han looked like he’d rather much be elsewhere right now.

“You’re the groom?” Ben couldn’t help but ask. _This_ guy was Hux’s...choice?

Poe shrugged, looking humble and proud at the same time. 

“Yes. I believe I am. I know, I’m a lucky guy, right? I can’t wait to marry him.”

Ben could only stare at him. He couldn’t help but compare himself to this man immediately. Poe looked rich. He was smaller. He looked like he had an easy going and _friendly_ nature. 

He didn’t look like Hux’s type at all.

But how would Ben know Hux’s type? Hux had only ever been with him before he’d left. He never really had a variety of boyfriends before they started to date and eventually married. Maybe _Ben_ wasn’t Hux’s type at all. 

He did decide to marry Poe after all.

_Fuck_ , that hurt. 

“Congratulations,” was all Ben could grit out as he closed the the back of the truck with more force than necessary.

“Get in then,” he said to them, taking Phasma’s small suitcase and placing it on the backseat. He let Poe struggle alone with his suitcase while he rounded the car. He opened the passenger door for Phasma who smirked and got in.

Ben was this close telling Poe that he couldn’t take him with him since Pal and the suitcases would be in the backseat, but Han—knowing his son—had just told him he wanted to spend the day with Pal and he would bring him in the evening.

“Bring him directly to the bar,” Ben told his father, watching Poe get into his truck and ignoring Poe’s comment about that it being rather nice and if it was the kind of car that was driven here. “I need a few drinks tonight.”

Again.

He really needed to leave town. His coping mechanism wasn’t the best.

He gave his old dog a scratch behind his ears and sat behind the wheel. 

Since the roads were still rather slippery, he had to drive at snail speed, but both of his passengers didn’t seem to mind. Poe was looking out at nature, ooooh’ing and awwwww’ing at the masses of snow. Ben tried to ignored him and made conversation with Phasma, who sounded like she was Hux’s best friend. Ben almost scoffed at that. Because she also didn’t know that Hux was actually married to Ben and how quickly had Hux ignored his whole past anyway? Did _nobody_ know that he was married to Ben?

His knuckles turned white where he gripped the wheel hard as Poe began telling the story of how he got Hux to date him.

And this Hux they talked about—the Hux _Poe_ talked about—didn’t sound like _Ben’s_ Hux at all. Sure, Hux had always been kind of a snobbish asshole but...he really had changed.

Everyone had.

Everyone but Ben.

He was glad when the hotel came into view after half an hour. He was _not_ so glad when he saw Hux standing in front of the hotel, phone in his hand and dressed in many layers. He looked the warmest since he’d gotten here. Ben looked into the rearview mirror and saw that Poe had his phone in hand, too. That’s why he shut up ten minutes ago, it seemed.

Ben stopped in front of Hux by using the brake a bit too harshly, and Poe’s face made a satisfying sound when it connected with the back of Phasma’s seat. 

Ben had to close his eyes for a moment when Poe scrambled out of the car and hugged Hux tightly, planting a kiss on Hux’s lips.

He opened his eyes again when Phasma, smiling, laid her hand on his arm. She thanked him for the ride and got out of the car. Without sliding in the snow, she got both of the suitcases out. A nanosecond after she had closed the door, Ben was already accelerating and driving away from that scene as fast as possible. 

He cursed when he realized he couldn’t drive home immediately but had to do some grocery shopping instead. He had used the last of his fresh food when Hux had been over and since then...he more or less only had consumed alcohol. Or coffee.

So he had to make a turn at the end of the road, driving back and parking in front of Maz’s, which was opposite of the Millennium Hotel where the group was still standing.

Talk about awkward.

Ben got out of the car, ignored everyone around him as much as he could and went to Maz’s shop. Which was just as bad because everyone there, including Maz, was watching him with pity. Because everyone knew by now that Hux was getting married here and the guy out there was his fiancé. 

Ben quickly walked to the aisles with his cart and put in groceries and other necessities without looking much, without comparing the prices or looking for recent sales. When he dumped all of his items in front of Maz, she gave him a smile and started to scan the items. Jessika Pava was there too, packing everything away into shopping bags. Sometimes Ben wondered how many jobs she had. She seemed to be everywhere, always helping out when needed. 

“Hey, Ben,” she said, smiling. Ben tried to ignore her but when Maz cleared her throat, he gave Jess a tired smile. 

“Hi,” he said, fumbling for his wallet and remembering a coupon he’d found in his mail. He handed it over to Maz. He was just wondering if he should pay with cash or with his credit card when Jess started to talk again, packing the last bag. 

“So, that’s a bummer, huh? I can’t believe Hux is doing this to you. It’s like he lacks every kind of class.”

Ben shrugged.

“He can do what he wants. He’s in love. Who am I to be upset about it?” he said, trying to be as neutral as possible. It wouldn’t do any good to badmouth Hux in public. This town was so tiny and Hux would know in two hours if Ben ever talked bad about him. He briefly wondered how Hux was going to do this, though. It wasn’t like they were divorced yet. Would he come crawling again? Begging? Trying to bully Ben into signing?

Well, he wouldn’t have to do any of that, because he’d sent enough signals by now. Ben would go home and sign those damned papers and let Hux be free. Or whatever. Apparently, Hux hadn’t been free enough during the last decade. 

Shit, he was getting worked up again. He took his change from Maz, trying his best to not let her see his shaking hands, and Jess helped him load his bags into the truck. Ben could see she was trying to say something else. He really didn’t want to hear another word about Hux. So he just nodded at her and sat behind the wheel, slamming the door shut When she moved around the car and knocked at his window, he refrained from rolling his eyes and pressed the button so the window would roll down.

“Yeah?” he asked, and Jess smiled at him.

“If you ever need to talk to someone who isn’t family,” she said, blushing a bit. “I have some evening shifts at Lando’s for the next few weeks, so…I’ll give you a beer on the house or something…”

That was very sweet, but Ben had no intention of doing that. He never wanted to date anyone in this fucking small town again.

“Thanks, that’s nice,” he said and started the car.

Jess got the hint and stepped away from the car. Ben took a deep breath and wanted nothing more than to drive home, unpack his newest materials, and rage a bit against everything in his garage. He couldn’t even drive a fucking inch before Rey stepped in front of his car, however. Ben hit the brakes hard.

“What the _fuck_ ,” he yelled, glaring at her through the windshield. Rey was unimpressed and told him with one hand gesture to get out. She then walked across the street and back into the hotel. Ben considered driving home anyway, but she turned around at the hotel’s entrance and looked at him. Just looked.

Ben turned the key and got out of the car again. 

“What?” he asked her in a flat voice, when he reached her in the hotel. She was leaning against the reception desk and sighed.

“C’mon, we’re going to have some tea,” she said.

He followed her through the door that said private. Ben squeezed himself behind the small table and watched Rey turn on the kettle and look for the tea bags.

“Black?” she asked. “Earl Grey?”

Ben nodded.

( _”Ben, this is more milk than Earl Grey, you’re doing it wrong. You…god dammit, you won’t be able to taste the bergamote that way, Jesus.”_

_“Well, it tastes like shit without milk.”_

_“Heathen.”_ )

They didn’t talk while Rey was preparing the tea and he winced when she only put in a splash of cream into his tea instead of...how he preferred it. He didn’t want to be whiny, though and took the cup.

He took a sip, ignoring how Rey stared at him, as if he would voluntarily say his piece. They’d talked _yesterday_ , wasn’t that enough? Could they please all leave him alone and let him wallow a bit?

He was almost finished with his tea when she finally broke.

“You _can’t_ be okay with this,” she cried out, worry written all over her small face. “He’s marrying another guy right in front of your nose, and you’re just sitting here, drinking tea. And you fucking brought _him_ to the hotel, out off the kindness of your heart—”

“Well, they would have frozen to death and this Phasma lady seems nice enough—”

“Ben, you still _love_ him. Everyone knows it, I bet fucking _Hux_ knows it, so I _beg_ you; do something about it. I may hate his arrogant ass but you’re clearly too stubborn to get over him in a decade...so at least _try_ and fight for him. This fucking asshole can’t just marry another guy in front of your eyes. You’ll break. I don’t want to see this...again.”

It was probably nice to have someone who cared about him. But she was family. She probably had to worry and to care. Ben would have preferred it if someone _else_ would care about him. At least in a degree that would prevent him from marrying someone else right in front of his eyes.

Wishful thinking, Ben. Can’t be changed.

“Rey,” he said, feeling tired and drained. “It’s over. He doesn’t want me. He never wanted me to begin with. I was the only one available in this fucking town and we rushed into this fucking marriage and... It’s probably better he makes a clean cut like this. He marries the guy he wants and goes back to New York. He’s _happy_ in New York.”

“Oh, did he tell you that?” Rey sneered. “He’s so happy that he fucked you despite being engaged, hm?”

“Rey, no. I don’t want to talk about this,” he said, leaving the half-full cup and getting off the chair. “I just want to go home and sign those papers.”

“You’re not even divorced yet and he wants to marry someone else?”

Probably shouldn't have said that.

“We will be tomorrow. So…”

“Benny….just think. Talk to him. I can call him down. Or you go to his room, it’s—”

“No. Just leave it be. Thanks for the tea, cousin. I appreciate that, but…I just don’t want to anymore.”

“You’re really going to lose him? I don’t want to see you like that. I...you deserve to be happy, Benny.”

Ben actually snorted and looked over his shoulder, already half out of the door.

“I already lost him ten years ago, Rey. He’s decided. He always knew what he wanted. It’s this Poe guy. Nothing will change that, not even some rebound fuck with the ex. He’s moved on. I also have to. I’ll be happy, don’t worry.”

“I don’t want you to be alone tonight, if I’m being honest. Come by the bar tonight? Just...how about a distraction? If Hux can have another person, so can you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Just don’t...drink yourself stupid again. Come over and…see what Arkanis has to offer.”

“Are you talking about Jess? Because that’s not exactly subtle, you know.”

Ben needed to go before his cousin could talk him into dating some other people. Despite her opinion, he was _fine_ , thank you very much. He also didn’t need to have some cousin-approved dates. 

“She’s very nice. And she’s single right now. _And_ she’s liked you since high school, you know. Not even you can be so stupid and not see her moves.”

“No, I’ve noticed. But I chose to ignore it.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Probably, yeah.”

Rey gave a frustrated sigh and then looked at him with her big brown eyes.

“Please. Just hang out with me if you must. I can kick your ass at pool and you won’t have to think about ginger assholes.”

“That’s what she said.”

Rey stood up too and punched him in the shoulder.

“Just be there at eight. Or I’ll come over and drag your ass through the snow and everyone will have a laugh at you because you can’t defend yourself against me.”

“Yeah, fine,” Ben said, just so she would shut up and because he could hear voices coming their way. He didn’t need to have others listen in on what they were talking about. It was bad enough that he and his apparent heartbreak were Arkanis’s number one topic at the moment. 

“I’ll see you tonight then.” He dropped a kiss on top of her head because she deserved it, and she squeezed his biceps.

“See you,” she said and followed him out to stand behind the desk again.

Ben looked into the direction of the big doors that led to the rooms and swallowed dryly because of course that trio was coming through, led by Hux. Hux avoided eye contact and Ben fled the scene before Poe or Phasma could grab him and pressure him into some _conversation_.

He quickly left the hotel before them, got into his car, and _finally_ managed to get home. He unloaded the metal from his truck but once it was all neatly stacked, he could only stare at it and wonder what to do. 

“Shit,” he muttered. Wasn’t the saying that heartbreak was inspiring?

Inspiring, his ass. Ben was sure the library didn’t want some dystopian apocalyptic shit on their front lawn. 

Well, it _was_ an university library so the students would probably appreciate it.

His phone vibrated with a text message. It was from Han telling him that he’d like to take Pal home with him today. Leia hadn’t seen the dog in ages. Ben just texted back an affirmative, then stared at the lumps of metal a bit more. His gaze wandered to the space of wall between the shelves where he and Hux had—

No.

Nope.

He turned around and walked straight out of the garage. 

Because his coping mechanisms hadn’t gotten any better, he went straight to the fridge and opened a cold beer. He emptied that way too fast and took another one out. With that in hand, he walked over to the dining area where the divorce papers were lying. He stood in the middle of the room, staring at the papers, somewhat hoping they’d go up into flames when he glared long enough.

They didn’t.

Ben bit his lower lip than called himself an idiot and sat down. He knew every word of these papers by heart now, having read them often enough. It was fair, it was normal. One signature and twelve years of marriage would be over.

Who was he kidding?

Two years of marriage and ten years of separation, if he was being honest.

Or maybe just one year of marriage. The second year had already been shit.

He took another sip of his beer and played with a creased corner of the title paper. 

He was still waiting.

But he didn’t know what for.

Hux knocking at his door and telling him this whole New York and Poe thing was a mistake and he’d like to live with him in that cabin now. Happily ever after?

Ben sagged on the chair and buried his face in his hands, trying to take a deep and calming breath. 

A million _what if’s_ popped up his head.

What if he would have said yes to everything Hux had wanted, costs be damned?

What if he would have packed their things and had accompanied Hux to New York?

What if he would have had the courage in New York and gone to Hux, to greet him, congratulate him? What if he would have told him how _proud_ he’d been that moment Hux had come out after his show had been over?

What if he would have just gotten his head out of his ass?

“Fuck,” he muttered against his sweating palms and looked up, back at the papers again. 

Hux deserved to be happy. Ben loved him too much to keep him bound to him, if he found his happiness elsewhere.

As long as Hux was really happy, Ben would do anything for him. Even if it meant going through heartbreak all over again.

Hux needed his signature to be happy, to be free from Ben. He needed Ben to sign this so he could be with the man of his dreams. 

Sometimes love meant taking a step back.

Ben drained his second bottle and then stood up to get his favorite pen from the small desk in his bedroom.

( _”Waterman? Who calls a pen waterman? What’s so special about some pen?”_

_“I like that brand, Ben. Will you stop complaining and say ‘thank you, husband, that’s such a nice gift?’”_

_“Thank you, hubby. That’s such a nice gift. I will cherish it forever and sign every check with it.”_ )

He returned to the living room and before he could think about it, he turned the papers to the last page and signed them.

Three times.

He held his breath while doing it and the last _o_ of the _Solo_ had an ugly blot of ink next to it. Ben didn’t wait for the ink to dry and closed the papers. He didn’t look at them again, just left them on the table. He got a text message from Rey reminding him about tonight. Ben decided to take a nap and then decide if he really should do this, or not.

He didn’t even walk over to his bedroom, just fell onto the couch and grabbed a blanket since Pal wasn’t here to warm him up.

At least his body still knew how to deal with stress in the most perfect way.

Sleeping like the dead.

He woke up three hours later, with a terrible headache, a full bladder and two unread messages from Rey to _wear something nice_. 

He didn’t feel any better about attending this not-date. But he didn’t want Rey to drag his sorry ass there, so he decided to take a quick shower and...find a nice shirt or whatever.

An hour later, he was sitting in his truck, the divorce papers tossed on the passenger’s seat. He hadn’t even put them back into the envelope. 

When he reached town after five minutes, he managed to find a parking spot close to Calrissian’s and sat in the car for a few minutes, staring at the divorce papers. 

“Let’s do this,” he muttered to himself, and checked the buttons on his coat because it was awfully cold again. How was this spring? He wondered what kind of weather Hux would return to in New York and immediately chided himself for it. 

Whether Hux was freezing or not shouldn't be important to him.

He groaned, angry at his stupid self, grabbed the papers and got out of his car. Bypassing the bar and Maz’s Market, he crossed the street, awkwardly slipping because the road had iced over during the last hours, and entered the hotel. Rey looked up from the computer, beaming at him. She grabbed her bag but Ben shook his head.

“I’ll be with you in a minute, I’ll just…” He waved the divorce papers and before she could say anything, or tell him he shouldn't have to do this, letting Hux get the easy way out without explaining, he rushed past her and knocked at Hux’s door. He hoped that his fiancé wasn’t there. Or maybe he hoped for it a bit. Wouldn’t that be wonderfully embarrassing for Hux to explain divorce papers right in front of the man he intended to marry?

Ben didn’t have such luck.

When Hux opened the door, his eyes widened. The room behind him was dark, except for the glowing light of his tablet.

“Hi,” Ben said. “Can I come in for a second?”

Hux stared at him quietly, before he nodded and held the door open wider. Ben stepped in and saw no evidence of this Poe guy living in that room too. He didn’t comment on it, just held out his hand and basically pushed the divorce papers against Hux’s chest. Hux looked at him than down at the papers and back at him again. He blinked slowly. 

Ben wanted to ask something snarky, but he realized he couldn’t utter a word. 

When Hux didn’t take the papers quick enough, Ben sighed and took them back. He rounded Hux and placed them on the desk next to the tablet which showed the design of a coat that looked like it had shoulder pads.

Suddenly, Ben found his voice again.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t ask me again to sign it. Pretty bold planning everything like that. Good move, though. You know me too well. I caved. You have what you wanted.”

He turned around and Hux was still just staring at him. Ben wondered if he was so speechless because Ben listened to his pleas for a change.

“Congratulations. This is officially the end. Sorry, it took me ten years. I was dumb enough to hope that you might still come back to me or at least continue to love me. But...if this is what makes you happy. I’ll have to deal with it. Because despite your complaints I always cared about your well-being, Brennan.”

“Ben…” Hux started to say, but Ben raised his hand, shaking his head.

“I don’t want to hear anything, really. We’ve talked enough. Or rather not-talked. Communication is the key, but not with us. Have a great wedding,. I hope this one’s the better option for you. I don’t think we’ll see each other again before you go, so…”

He stepped forward, close to Hux, and pretended he didn’t see how Hux slightly raised his chin. 

A rather big part of Ben wanted to yell and scream and shake Hux, begging him to not do this, to try and start again. He wanted to go on his knees and plead with Hux, tell him that he would go back to New York with him, as long as he was _with_ Hux. 

Ben ignored it and leaned down to give Hux a soft kiss on his bright red hair that he loved so much.

“Goodbye, Brennan Solo,” he muttered and in an act of defiance, he touched his left ring finger, felt for the simple gold band and pulled it off. He’d never done this before, not even after Hux had left him. Under the watchful eyes of Hux, he rolled the ring between his fingers and then slipped it into the his jeans pocket.

Without looking back, Ben left the room.

When he reached the lobby, Rey was waiting, looking rather anxious. Ben lifted his head and nodded when she asked if he was okay.

He was.

For the moment.

But that moment was enough for him to think that maybe he could start a new life again. 

“So…should I take over Jessika’s shift, or…?” Rey asked when they stepped out of the hotel and headed to the direction of the hotel. 

“Yeah,” Ben said. “Please do.”

Rey smiled. 

“Awesome,” she said and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She pressed against him and told him she was proud. Even if she wished that it would have been an outcome with a happy end for him.

Ben just shrugged and held out Calrissian’s front door for her.

“Things can always change,” he told her, feeling more sanguine than he probably should and stepped into the bar after her. He sat down at the bar after Rey told him she’d go and look for Rey, and ordered two beers from Lando. 

Five minutes later, he had a smiling Jess next to him on a bar stool. 

“You took off your ring,” she commented. Ben could practically feel every head in the bar snapping his direction. He straightened his back and took a sip from his beer.

“I did.”

Jess smiled wider and they ordered some nachos with cheese and fries. 

It was probably a bit awkward because well...the only dates he’d had...were with Hux, and this was a weird _non_ date anyway. But Jess didn’t seem to mind. She was talking about her jobs, her friends, some high school stuff Ben could remember, too. 

He tried to laugh at the right places and not look like he’d just signed his divorce papers, or was still pining for a guy who’d left him a decade ago. He probably did a good job with that, because she wasn’t running away screaming or crying.

The more they talked, the more he realized that he really wasn’t ready for this yet. Especially not under the watchful eyes of the whole town. He might have jumped into this a bit too fast. But before he could make some lame excuse that he had to go, because of some family emergency, her phone vibrated anyway and she apologized, because she had to take this. When she hung up after a few words, she looked resigned.

She sighed and told him that she had to head home, back to her grandmother who wasn’t feeling very well tonight.

Ben just nodded; relieved that he could _discuss_ this with her later. He offered to escort her home and she laughed and told him he was the sweetest. 

Ben winced because he was everything but that.

They both got up from their chairs and Ben laid his hand on the small of her back when they both had to lean over the bar to talk to Lando, because it had gotten louder. Some bachelorette party had entered the bar a few minutes ago. One girl yelled an especially loud ‘whooooop’ and he turned around to look for the source of the annoyance. He met Hux’s eyes. He hadn’t even noticed that he, Poe, and Phasma had come in. 

Okay, he would not stay here, watching Hux and Poe actually interact.

Luckily enough, Jess was done discussing the _too many tips_ argument with Lando and Ben helped her into her coat and led her out of the bar. As soon as they were outside, Ben took a deep breath and didn’t want to think how Hux’s fiancé was sitting in that bar, probably holding hands with Hux, kissing Hux, and be all lovey-dovey because they’d marry tomorrow.

“So, this was a bit weird.”

He looked at Jess who’d started walking into the direction of his car and couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Yes, shit. _Sorry._. I…you’re nice and all, but—”

“Nah, I get it,” she said. “You literally just pulled off your wedding ring and your ex is marrying tomorrow and…I get it. The thing is, I don’t want to be a distraction.” 

Ben opened the car door for her and she got in. He quickly rounded the car and got in too, turning the key so the heating would start. 

“Sorry, I would have stopped this...not-date anyway,” he mumbled. “It’s just totally—”

“The wrong time, yeah. But worth a shot. I get it.”

“You’re not angry?” Ben asked. Jess snickered.

“I’ll live,” she told him and they were already in front of her grandmother’s house. “Just take care, Benny. If you feel better, I’ll probably still be here, you know me.”

Jess winked at him, and Ben mumbled a small thank you before she got out of the car. Ben watched her go inside the house and then drove home.

At least he intended to.

Right behind the main road and before the cross section up to his cabin, he just stopped the car and leaned his forehead against the wheel and took a shaky breath. And another one. And another one.

This was it.

He’d drive home alone and Hux would never step into his cabin, or his life, again. While they’d been married, Ben still had clutched that thin thread of hope that Hux would come back one day. To talk it out. To forgive each other.

Hux did come back.

They didn’t talk it out.

And Ben would _never_ forgive him for marrying some New York guy right in front of his nose.

_Never._

Straightening, Ben blinked away the tears and continued driving.

“Enough,” Ben whispered to himself. “Enough now.”


	7. Hux

## Hux

_It was quiet inside the small retiring room beyond the main foyer of the courthouse, though Hux could still hear the muffled voices from outside. The rented suit he wore was almost too warm and didn’t fit exactly right, but as he looked at himself in the mirror, he decided it was acceptable enough. His parents might have taken him to Anchorage to have a suit fitted had they approved of any of this, but they had refused to acknowledge that it was happening. Han and Leia had paid for everything, and their pockets weren’t that deep._

_Hux should have been embarrassed by his parents, he supposed, but he was too caught up in the moment to even think of it. He was about to take the biggest step of his life, changing it irrevocably. But he wasn’t afraid; he was ready for this. He wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything before._

_“Hey. Are you ready?”_

_Hux’s heart jumped as Ben appeared behind him, sliding a hand around his waist. He was wearing a suit, too, and there was a white flower pinned to the lapel. It matched the one on Hux’s. His hair was brushed until it shone, hanging in rich waves around his neck, and there was a small smile touching his mouth. He was breathtaking._

_Hux turned to him, reaching up to touch his face. “Yes.”_

_Ben leaned into his hand, pulling Hux close. “I can’t believe this is actually happening. That you’d have me. Forever.”_

_“No doubts,” Hux said. “No regrets. Ever.” He caressed Ben’s cheekbone with his thumb. “I love you, and I’m going to marry you. Today. Now.” He moved in and pressed his lips to Ben’s. “One last kiss for my boyfriend. Next time it’s for my husband.”_

_Ben stroked his back. When he spoke, his voice was thick. “I love you, too. I always have, and I always will.”_

_“I know. Come on. I’m done waiting for this.” Threading his fingers together with Ben’s, he led him toward the door._

_Six people were standing outside in the foyer: Ben’s parents, his cousin Rey, their friend Finn, Ben’s uncle Luke, and the justice of the peace. They were all dressed up, Leia wearing a robin’s egg blue frock and even Han had on a tie. Their smiles were radiant as they watched Hux and Ben walk toward them._

_Hux held tight to Ben as they went to the justice, his hand a solid comfort that made this whole thing concrete. He was marrying Ben, taking vows that would tie them together for the rest of their lives. His chest burned with elation and pride. The people around him loved him and were about to welcome him into their family._

_The decision to take Ben’s name had been an easy one. They hadn’t really even needed to discuss it. Hux, though he went by the name he would be giving up, wanted to be a Solo. They had welcomed him when Ben had brought him home. They had cheered harder than Hux’s own mother and father when Hux had walked across the stage at graduation two weeks earlier. They had hugged him and invited him to join them to celebrate. He had gone there rather than to a restaurant with his parents. Dinner in the Solos’ small dining room had been far better._

_Hux and Ben stopped a pace from the justice, a round-cheeked woman who was new to Arkanis. She smiled at them and lifted the black leather binder she held._

_“Friends and family,” she said in a rich alto voice, “welcome. We are gathered here today to witness the union of Benjamin Solo and Brennan Hux, who stand before me now. Benjamin, Brennan, are you prepared to take your vows?”_

_“Yes,” Ben said, squeezing Hux’s hand._

_“I am,” said Hux._

_“Today you are swearing yourselves to each other, to love and care for one another in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as you both shall live.” She turned first to Hux. “Brennan, do you promise to devote yourself to Benjamin, to cherish and honor him as a husband from this day forward?”_

_Hux looked into Ben’s face, studying the familiar angles, the deep brown of his eyes. They were bright with hope and love, making Hux’s heart swell._

_“I do,” Hux said._

_Ben closed his eyes, letting out a gentle breath, but his grip on Hux’s hand never wavered._

_“And do you, Benjamin, promise to devote yourself to Brennan, to cherish and honor him as a husband from this day forward?”_

_“I do,” he said. “I_ really _do.”_

_There were a few chuckles from behind them. Hux recognized Han’s voice easily. He smiled, warm with affection for his father-in-law._

_“Then with these vows, you pledge yourselves in matrimony,” said the justice. “Do you have the rings?”_

_Hux released Ben to reach into the pocket of his jacket, where he had tucked the simple steel band he had saved up for months to buy. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was strong and beautiful, just like Ben was._

_The band Ben pulled from his pocket was gold, with squared edges. It was plain, but the sight of it made Hux’s breath catch. His hand trembled just a little as he held it out to Ben. The ring was cool against his skin, but warmed quickly. Hux welcomed the new weight and the feeling of belonging that came with it._

_When Ben presented his left hand, Hux gently slid his own ring onto his finger. It caught the light and winked._

_“Will you seal this union with a kiss?” the justice said._

_Hux felt as though his heart would burst from his chest as Ben leaned in. Hux looked at him for a long as he could, before Ben’s lips touched his. It was a brief, light kiss, but it carried more love than Hux had ever known. Ben was his, and he was Ben’s. For always._

_The voice of the justice sounded muffled in his ears as she said, “By the power vested in me by the state of Alaska, I now pronounce you legally wed.”_

_The witnesses burst into applause, which echoed around the small foyer. When Hux drew back, he saw the light in Ben’s face. Smiling, he mouthed, “I love you.”_

_Ben lifted Hux’s hand and kissed the ring. “I love you, too.”_

 

Though the door to his hotel room at the Millennium closed softly, it fell like a blow to Hux’s chest. He looked into the empty space where Ben had just been, where he had stood and pulled away the steel ring Hux had put on his finger twelve years before. The packet of papers in Hux’s hand crinkled as he tightened his grip on them, seeking something to ground him and allow him to breathe again.

He had expected to be relieved. At last, Ben had signed for the divorce, giving Hux the freedom he needed to move on with his life, move on to— _with_ —Poe. And yet his knees were shaking and his chest burned with some mix of pain and shock.

There had been a line of pale skin on Ben’s finger where the ring had sat, a stark reminder that in all the years since Hux had left him, he had never taken it off. Hux rubbed at the inside of his own ring finger, the mark of his wedding band long since gone. It was foolish, but he suddenly craved its weight again, the ability to spin it when he need to fidget.

Soon there would be another in its place. Poe had told him over the phone before he arrived that he had chosen a pair of matching bands for them. Hux would have preferred to choose the one he would give Poe, but in his hurry to get his fiancé to Arkanis, he hadn’t had the opportunity. It didn’t make that much of a difference in the end, he reasoned. Poe would be happy with whatever he had picked for them, and that was enough for Hux.

 _Poe_. He was in the next room over, presumably still napping after his long flight. He knew absolutely nothing about Ben Solo, nothing about Hux’s first marriage. He had ridden all the way from the airfield into town making small talk with the man Hux was technically still married to, and he was none the wiser.

Falling back against the wall, Hux rubbed his forehead. By all accounts, the situation was unfathomable. The two men he loved had been suddenly drawn into close orbit, making the differences between them clearer than ever. Poe had arrived dressed in a thick wool overcoat and black shoes that had been recently shined. The slushy snow and salt on the sidewalk would certainly ruin that within a few minutes, but Hux wasn’t sure Poe had brought anything else with him. He was so clearly not a native that it almost hurt to look at him.

Ben, on the other hand, had been in his worn old parka and scuffed boots, tucked into his black truck. He was all Arkanis, so familiar. Hux was sure if he had gone up and sniffed him, he would have smelled of woodsmoke and coffee rather than Poe’s designer cologne. Hux remembered so many mornings in the cabin when he would wake to those scents mixed with the warmth Ben’s body left in the bed even after he had gone.

Hux winced, feeling his chest constrict. That was his past. The documents he held made it official, real. It was the right thing to do. He belonged in New York. His career was there, as was Poe, the two things that would shape his future. With that to bolster him, he patted his pocket to make sure he had his keycard and then reached for the handle of the door.

The lobby of the hotel was empty when he walked through, making his way to the business center where there was thankfully an antiquated fax machine. He was sure the paperwork wouldn’t be processed completely by the next day, but for all intents and purposes he was legally divorced and free to remarry. His lawyers could deal with the rest.

The fax machine made a terrible grinding, dial up sound as he sent each page, of which there were quite a few. As he was waiting for the last of them to go through, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw a banner across the lock screen that indicated a new text.

 _Hey, honey,_ Poe wrote. _I went to your room, but you weren’t there, so I’m going for a drink in the bar. Meet me there._

Hux had to admit that he could use a drink. A good, stiff whiskey. Poe, no doubt, would be having a martini. If they could make one at the tiny hole in the wall that Luke considered a bar at the Millennium. It would be good to return to their favorite place at home in Manhattan, where Hux could get Scotch instead of whatever Tennessee swill Luke kept.

When he was finished with the papers, he keyed himself back into his room and tucked them into his laptop bag. He fought off another pang, going into the bathroom and splashing some warm water on his face. Then he headed off for the bar.

It was around the corner near the front of the hotel, where there was a narrow counter next to a couple of windows that afforded a view of the slushy street outside. There were three people in the cramped space, two sitting on the wooden stools and one behind the bar. Hux recognized Ben’s uncle, Luke, in his khaki button down and jeans. He was never one to dress up, even for a tour of duty at the bar. Hux almost smiled.

Poe was at the bar, holding a martini glass, as expected. It was a surprise, though, to find Finn sitting beside him. They appeared to be conversing, Poe laughing at something that Finn said. Finn grinned toothily back at him.

“Hello,” said Hux as he stopped beside them.

“There you are,” Poe said, beaming as he slid an arm around Hux’s waist and squeezed. “I was just hearing some old stories about you from Finn here. He says he’s known you a long time.”

Hux shot a suspicious glance at Finn. There were any number of compromising tales he might have been sharing, many of which Hux probably would prefer Poe didn’t hear.

“Yes, he has,” Hux said.

Finn looked anything but contrite. “I was about to tell him the one about senior year when you and Ben almost crashed Han’s old truck into the ravine.” He turned to Poe, though he hitched a thumb at Hux. “This one was learning how to drive a stick shift and, boy, was he bad at it. Ben had been trying to teach him for weeks, but it just wasn’t working. So, finally, one day Ben decides he’s just going to take Hux out on the road and put him to the test. They picked me and Rey up to be witnesses, I guess, and Ben took us out to the country where Hux wouldn’t hit anything.” He smirked. “Presumably.”

Hux rolled his eyes, but allowed him to continue.

“So, Hux gets in the driver’s seat and he does okay for a couple of minutes, cruising in third gear, but they we come up to this curve in the road. It’s enough for him to downshift to get around it, but instead of shifting down, he throws it up into fourth and hauls ass.” Finn took a sip of beer, stifling a laugh in his glass. “We’re all yelling at him to slow down because there’s a drop on the other side of the road. I mean, a real drop. Like, fifty feet down into a creek bed.”

“It’s more like thirty,” Hux said.

Finn waved him off. “It sounds more dramatic this way. Anyway, we’re all whipping around the corner and the truck pretty much lurches up onto one side. Hux tries to shift down, and the clutch is grinding like a stone. Ben is trying to talk him through it, but Hux can’t seem to figure it out. So, Ben reaches out for the wheel to steer us away from the drop. Hux panics and tries to keep a hold of it.” Finn acted this out for effect. “We go lurching toward the drop and I swear we’re about to go over, but then there’s this old bent over tree in the way. We hit it _hard_. It shakes the whole truck. I almost went through the windshield.”

“You did _not_ ,” said Hux, affronted. “We weren’t going any faster than fifteen miles an hour at that point.”

“Maybe not,” Finn said, “but it was a hell of a shock.”

“I’ll bet,” said Poe, winking at Hux.

“And it doesn’t end there,” Finn chuckled. “The right front tire was right over the side of the ravine and the whole thing was leaning into it. Ben yells for everyone to bail out, and me and Rey are out of there in a flash, but Hux won’t leave. He just sits there grinding his teeth and telling Ben he won’t leave him to fall with the truck. Ben thought he was the only one who could get it out of there, so he was going to take the wheel. But Hux won’t let him.”

Hux pressed his lips together. He remembered the fear surging through him at the thought of falling into the ravine, but even more than that, it had been the sheer terror at the prospect of Ben getting hurt. It had been the first summer they were together, and Hux had fallen so hard that being apart was physically painful. To consider losing Ben was unimaginable, and Hux was determined not to leave him in the teetering truck. Of course, that meant if it fell, both of them would be seriously hurt, but self-preservation was not Hux’s primary motivator at that point. He cared about Ben.

“Ben is telling Hux how crazy he’s being,” Finn said, “and Hux is yelling back at him how he needs to shut up and tell Hux how to get the truck in reverse. I swear I could hear the axles creaking as they thrashed around in there, fighting over the wheel, but somehow they managed to get the damn thing in reverse and back out.

“There was this moment of real silence after they got away, the truck just idling there while both of them were catching their breath. Rey and I had been holding ours the whole time. And then...they burst out laughing. Like, crazy, maniacal laughter.” Finn shook his head. “It was ridiculous. They were just slapping each other on the back and hugging. That was until they started ki—”

Hux cleared his throat loudly. “Yes, yes, it was quite the adventure.”

“Sounds like you and this Ben were quite the duo,” Poe said. “Best friends?”

Hux swallowed, unable to look Finn in the eye as he said, “Yes, we were.”

“Bet there isn’t a story I can think of that doesn’t have the both of them in it,” said Finn, guileless. “They were inseparable.”

“Does he still live around here?” Poe asked. “I might like to meet him.”

“You have,” Hux replied, though with some reluctance. “He drove you into town.”

Poe’s brows rose. “Really? Damn, had I known, I would have asked him all about these hijinks you and him used to get up to.”

“I’m sure Finn can tell you most of them,” said Hux.

Finn nodded. “I sure can. You want to hear another? Maybe about the homecoming dance junior year…”

“I don’t think so,” said Hux, firm. “I think Poe and I should go and get something to eat.”

“That sounds great,” Poe said, rubbing his hand at Hux’s waist. “But we’d better get Phasma before we go somewhere.”

“What are you saying about me, Dameron?”

Hux turned to see Phasma, in all her bleach blond glory, walking toward them. She was still wearing the high heeled boots she had arrived in, though she had changed into a sweater dress and silver leggings.

“Only that I figured you could eat,” Poe said.

“Hell yes,” said Phasma. “I haven’t had anything since that pathetic bagel sandwich we picked up in the airport.” She eyed Hux. “There’s bound of be something good in this town. Local specialty? Reindeer?”

Poe perked up. “Finn recommended the burgers at...what was it? Calrissian’s?”

“That’s right,” said Finn. “Best in town.”

“Sounds perfect,” Phasma said. “You coming along, Finn?”

He shook his head. “I’ve got dinner at the house. But it was _really_ nice to meet you, Poe.” He offered his hand and Poe shook it. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Poe smiled. “That’d be great. Have a good night, Finn.”

Finn waved to Hux, drained his beer, and left them. Phasma looked after him.

“Cute,” she said. “Single?”

“Not your type,” said Hux.

Phasma sighed. “He’s gay, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Poe and Hux said together. They shared an amused look.

“Pity,” she muttered. “Anyway, burgers? Should we call a cab?”

“What cab?” said Hux. “No, we’ll walk.” He cast a brief glance at Phasma’s boots, but he knew she was more than capable of managing in them. “Let’s go get our coats.”

Calrissian’s was busy when they arrived, patrons filling the bar and a number of the tables. Classic rock from the old fashioned jukebox in the corner accompanied the pleasant chatter and sound of glassware clinking. Hux spotted an empty booth near the back, and led Phasma and Poe toward it. He removed his jacket and hung it on the small hook on the wall.

“Is there a menu we should get?” Poe asked as he slid into the booth.

“It’s just burgers and fries,” Hux replied. “I’ll take your order up to the bar. Lettuce, mayonnaise, onions, and tomatoes, right?”

“You know me too well, honey.”

Hux smiled and touched Poe’s shoulder. “Phasma, what do you want?”

“Cheeseburger with everything,” she said. “Tell them not to skimp on the tomatoes.”

Hux nodded and headed to the bar to order a round of drinks and the food. Lando was behind it, uncapping a bottle of Molson for another patron.

“Hey, Hux,” he said cheerfully as he set the bottle down. “Nice to see you. Can I get you something?”

Hux rattled off the order. Lando didn’t write it down; he had a memory like a steel trap. Once Hux was finished, he went to the kitchen window and spoke with his wife, who was manning the grill. She waved her spatula at Hux.

“What are you drinking?” Lando said when he came back. “Besides the Scotch, of course.”

Hux huffed a laugh. He had been drinking the same thing since he had been old enough to buy alcohol. The taste came from his father, who had always had a bottle around. Hux and Ben had gotten completely drunk on it once when they were sixteen, laughing like fools and shoving each other around Hux’s room until they had collapsed on the bed. They had proceeded to spend an hour making out before Hux reached for Ben’s pants. It had been a sloppy, drunken blowjob, but Ben had been fairly close to screaming into the pillow while Hux’s parents slept on the other side of the house.

“A dry vodka martini,” Hux told Lando, “and a beer. Molson is fine.”

“Looks like your friends are settling in just fine,” Lando said as he mixed the martini. “For city folk anyway. You taking them out snowmobiling or anything? It’s the season for it.”

Hux could imagine the look of utter disdain Phasma would have for a snowmobile. Poe might have done along with it, but Hux wasn’t about to make him. They wouldn’t have time after all. The wedding was tomorrow and then they would be going to Anchorage for the night before they flew back to New York.

“Maybe next time,” Hux said, though he knew there was no chance they were ever coming back to Arkanis after this. He had a new life to begin. This was the final chapter of his time in Alaska.

“Here you go, then,” said Lando, handing over the drinks. “I’ll bring the burgers over when they’re ready.”

Hux thanked him and managed to juggle the martini glass, tumbler, and Molson bottle back to the table. He took the seat next to Poe while Phasma sat across from them.

“This place is...rustic,” Phasma said as she took a swig of her beer. “Please don’t tell me it’s the only bar in town.”

“Oh, it certainly is,” said Hux. “If you don’t count Maz Kanata’s farmhouse still, of course.”

“Bootlegger?”

“She calls herself a distiller these days, but I’m sure there’s a part of her that would be quite pleased to hear that.”

Poe laughed. “There are some real characters here, I’m finding out. Growing up here must have been an experience, honey.”

“It certainly was,” Hux said, truthful. He glanced around the familiar bar, taking in the neon signs, which had dimmed just slightly with dust, and the grimy light over the pool table. The bathroom doors tastelessly had pictures of bears on them that read “Boars” for the gentlemen and “Sows” for the ladies. Hux had been appalled as a teenager and still was.

As he was watching the Sows side, he saw Jessika Pava come out with her phone in her hand. She walked over to the bar where a tall man with dark hair was sitting. He flashed her a smile and set his hand at the small of her back. Hux felt a stab to his chest. Ben was impossible to miss, and so was the bare left hand that was now settled just inches above Jess’s pert ass.

Certainly he couldn’t be out with her on a date. No, that was impossible. Jess had been chasing Ben for years, but he had never once expressed any interest in her. He had, in fact, assured teenaged Hux more than once that he wouldn’t ever do anything with her even if he hadn’t been seeing Hux.

But then they left the bar together, walking out side by side and talking all the while. Hux’s stomach roiled, his appetite quickly dissipating.

A hand landed on his thigh.

“Are you all right, honey?” Poe asked. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“I’m fine,” Hux replied. He picked up his Scotch and downed it all. “I’m just hungry. Low blood sugar.”

Poe took his hand and squeezed. “Well, that’s good because here comes the food.”

Hux only finished half of his burger, leaving the rest on the red and white checkered paper in the plastic basket. He dragged a couple of his fries through the ketchup he had poured, creating a starburst next to the remnants of his burger, but never eating them. He did, however, finish off another Scotch, which Lando had brought with the food.

“That was great,” Poe said as he patted his stomach. “I’m stuffed. Now I could go back to sleep.”

Hux was still feeling to unwell to sleep, but it was getting stuffy and hot in the bar. He was craving fresh air more than anything. “Let’s go, then,” he said.

“Fine by me,” said Phasma. Hers was the first coat on the hook, so she pulled it on before handing Poe and Hux theirs. Once they were dressed, they ventured back out into the cold night air.

The chill was enough to sting Hux’s lungs, but he welcomed it. It cleared his head as it always had. He remembered a few nights after he had fought with Ben that he had gone out to stand in the trees around the cabin to calm down. It helped, and soon enough he was back inside making his apologies and kissing his husband.

Ex. Ex husband.

“Okay, kids,” said Phasma when they got back to their block of rooms at the Millennium. “I’m going back to sleep. See you both in the morning.”

Hux kissed both of her cheeks and told her to sleep well. Disappearing into her room, she left Poe and Hux standing in the hall. A strange uneasiness settled in the silence, and Hux didn’t immediately reach for his room key. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to stay up or plead exhaustion.

“Mind if I come in for a couple of minutes?” Poe asked. “I’ve barely seen you since I got here.”

“Of course,” said Hux. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, having to slide the plastic card three times before the light flickered green and the lock opened. Hux almost ran inside, though he wasn’t sure what kind of refuge it was. He couldn’t help but look at his laptop case, where the divorce papers were tucked. He needed another drink. But before he could get to the minibar, arms slid around his waist and and strong chest was pressed to his back.

“Hey,” Poe said in his ear.

Hux tentatively put his hand over Poe’s, trying not to stand straight and tense as a board. “Hello.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The question was punctuated by a kiss to his neck.

“I’m fine,” said Hux. He lifted Poe’s arms free and made his escape for the minibar. “Would you like something else to drink?”

Poe stood where Hux had left him, one brow raised. “No thanks. Hux?”

“Mmhm?” was Hux’s answer, half muffled as he shoved his face into the small refrigerator and pulled about a single shot bottle of whiskey.

“Something’s going on,” Poe said. “You’re acting...nervous. Are you worried about tomorrow?”

Hux stood, cracking open the bottle. The wedding itself hadn’t shaken him up. It was everything: Ben, the papers, Jessika, Poe and Phasma in Arkanis where they didn’t belong. Everything seemed off and strange, but he didn’t know how to set it to rights again.

“Maybe a little,” Hux said. “It’s just a bit crazy to have hauled you and Phasma all the way out here for something as small as a civil union ceremony. I should have just come back to New York.”

“I think it’s great you wanted to get married in your hometown,” said Poe, taking a step toward Hux again. Hux had a fight himself not to retreat. “It didn’t really seem like you since you never talked about this place, but I loved the idea of eloping. My mother will have a heart attack when she finds out the big ceremony will just be for show.”

Hux felt his spirits fall further. He had met Mrs. Dameron just once and she had been a terror. He was not looking forward to displeasing her further.

“Ah, yes,” Hux said, though he really had nothing to add. His thoughts were going unbidden back to the smiling faces of Leia and Han Solo on the day he and Ben had told them they were getting married. Mrs. Dameron had not been half as pleased when Poe had brought home a “starving artist.”

Poe reached out and touched Hux’s arm. “I’m ready for this, honey. I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me, too,” Hux said, his voice tight.

“Do you want a massage?” Poe asked, coming yet closer. “I know how tense you can get.” He lowered his voice suggestively. “I’ll loosen you up.”

Hux offered a watery smile. “Thank you, but no. I’m all right, I promise. And...don’t you think we should save anything for the wedding night?”

Poe chuckled. “You want me to be the blushing virgin?”

“Hardly,” said Hux. “I just...it should be special. Don’t you agree?”

“Of course,” Poe said. “I guess I’ll say goodnight, then?”

Hux offered his cheek to be kissed. “Goodnight.”

Poe gave him a chaste peck before going out. He closed the door as softly behind him as Ben had, and once again Hux was alone in his room.

He went through the motions of washing his face and brushing his teeth by rote. He was numb, his thoughts a flurry of confusion. Memories of romantic dinners with Poe would clash with eating burned chicken in front of the TV at the cabin with Ben. Going to the theater in New York were juxtaposed against movies half-seen from the back row as he and Ben made out. They hadn’t stopped doing it even after they had married. Images were racing through Hux’s mind’s eye as he stared at himself in the mirror, leaning against the counter. He hardly recognized himself anymore, inside and out.

As he collapsed on his bed, he was trying not to think of what the next night would bring. Sex with Poe was nothing new, and Hux had always imagined that wedding nights for couples who had been sleeping or even living together before were a bit of an anticlimax (no pun intended). He certainly wasn’t advocating waiting until marriage for anyone, especially not himself, but he had for all intents and purposes been a virgin on the night he went to bed with Ben.

 

_“According to my research,” Hux said, “we have to—"_

_“Wait, you did research?” Ben asked, sitting up on his elbows in the big hotel bed in Anchorage. They had taken a cab from the airport to the hotel, where they had checked in as Mr. and Mr. Solo and then gone quickly up to their room to share the bottle of champagne Han had smuggled into their luggage._

_When both of them were pleasantly buzzed, they had fallen into each other’s arms. Hux’s breath had come up short as the button of his shirt caught on his ring when he had tried to pull it off. Ben had helped him get it loose and then kissed the ring again._

_When they were naked, they had crept onto the bed together. Hux had peppered lingering kisses along Ben’s neck and chest before reaching for the small bottle he had purchased at the drugstore in Arkanis. He had been blushing profusely as the clerk checked him out, but when the older man had handed him his bag, he had said, “Congratulations on your wedding, Hux.” Hux had thanked him and gone out with his head held high._

_“Of course I did,” Hux said from his place between Ben’s spread legs. “There were logistical concerns. And…” He set a hand on Ben’s knee. “I want to make it good for you.”_

_Ben smiled. “It’s going to be. I’ve been waiting for this for two years. I want it.”_

_Hux looked over Ben’s body, taking him all in. “I want it, too.”_

_“Then what are you waiting for?”_

_Hux nodded mutely, reaching over to the bedside table to retrieve the lubricant. He fumbled a bit with the cap, his hands sweaty._

_“Baby, relax,” Ben said._

_Hux’s nerves settled somewhat at that, and he was able to get the bottle open. He poured the lubricant onto his forefingers, spreading it around with his thumb. “Just one first.”_

_“Okay.” Ben lay back onto the pillows, hitching his legs up. He let out a soft, “Oh,” as Hux touched him._

_“Does that feel all right?”_

_“Mmhmm. Keep going.”_

_Hux’s exploration was tentative, but at Ben’s insistence that it was good, he slowly pressed a finger inside. Ben’s breath hitched._

_“Are you—”_

_“I’m fine, Hux. Go on.”_

_He did, gradually working in a second finger and then, at Ben’s request, a third. Ben was shivering under Hux’s hands, but the sounds he was making, the quiet pleas for more, were assurance enough that Hux was doing well._

_“I’m ready,” he said after a few long minutes of Hux watching his fingers move into and out of Ben’s body._

_Carefully, Hux drew away. He slicked himself before tossing the lubricant aside. Bracing his left hand on the mattress beside Ben’s middle, he guided himself with the other. Ben had to shift his hips slightly until they found the right angle, but then Hux was sliding into him._

_“Oh, God, Ben,” Hux said as he stilled, the tight heat all around him._

_“Hux.”_

_“Is it still all right? Am I hurting you?”_

_Ben lifted a hand to rest against Hux’s neck. “No. It’s good. Really good.”_

_“Can I...move?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_The first strokes were cautious, but as Ben drew Hux down to him and wrapped his legs around Hux’s waist, they grew more confident. Hux was breathing hard, fighting to keep control of himself, but the sensation of being inside Ben was almost more than he could take._

_“Will you touch me?” Ben said, his lips against Hux’s ear. “Please.”_

_Hux reached between them to grasp him. This was familiar; he knew exactly what Ben needed. Hux slowed his own thrusts as he worked, concentrating on bringing Ben off first. It wasn’t long before he was gasping, his back bowing as he came. Hux watched him, awed and aching to follow. A roll of his hips brought him deep again. Ben cried out._

_“I’m sorry,” Hux said, freezing. “I didn’t mean to—”_

_“No. God, that’s incredible. Do it again.”_

_They groaned together as he moved, Ben clutching at Hux’s back._

_“I’m close,” Hux said. “So close. Do you want me to...”_

_“Stay. Right there.”_

_Hux pinched his eyes closed and, pushing once more into Ben, lost himself._

 

They were each other’s first that night and both had expected to be the other’s last. And yet they were divorced now, and would never share a bed again.

As he lay there in his room, Hux curled in on himself. If anyone would have asked him why his pillow was wet, he would have told them his eyes had just been tired and runny.

 

* * *

 

The dawn of the next day came with a radiant display of reds and oranges along the horizon. Hux had woken early enough to see it, and had stood at the window sipping the coffee he had made in the sputtering mini pot in his room. He hadn’t settled over the course of the night, sleep eluding him for a good part of it. The shower he had taken at around seven o’clock had washed some of the haggardness from his face, but he still looked drawn. It was fortunate, then, that they would only have a few quick photographs taken at the courthouse. He certainly wasn’t ready to face a professional with a blinding flash.

He had met Phasma in the lobby of the Millennium for breakfast shortly after he had cleaned up and dressed. Though Hux never would have thought she would be one for superstitions, she said that Poe wouldn’t be making his appearance until the ceremony.

“It’s bad luck,” she had said as she munched on a half-toasted bagel buried in strawberry cream cheese.

Hux didn’t argue. He picked at his food in near silence, trying to fortify himself with something other than caffeine.

When they were finished, Phasma had taken Hux to her room, where she had his favorite suit—one of his own design. She had picked it up from his apartment in New York before coming to Arkanis. He was once again glad he had given her the spare key. Poe, he noted, didn’t have one.

Phasma helped him into the suit, checking it over for wrinkles and lint before declaring him ready.

“You _are_ ready, aren’t you?” she asked, eyeing him.

“Of course,” Hux replied. “Why would you think I wouldn’t be?”

She frowned, crossing her arms. “Because you’ve looked like you want to throw up since we got here. Something is off about this whole thing if you ask me. You hate this place. Why would you want to get married here?”

Hux refused to look her in the eye, instead pulling at the sleeves of his suit jacket to straighten them again. “It just felt like the right time.”

“Tell that to someone who believes your bullshit, Brennan,” she grumbled. “Now get out. I have to get ready. I’ll see you at the courthouse.”

Hux had considered going for a drink to steady his nerves, but the bar wasn’t open at nine o’clock in the morning and he had finished off the bottles in his room the night before. So, he bided his time on his laptop, scribbling the beginnings of a gown for his formal collection. He tried not to think of the pages of printer paper he had drawn on at the cabin while Ben had been watching a movie. He tried not to think of the cabin or Ben at all.

Finally, when ten thirty rolled around, Hux ventured out to the lobby of the hotel again to catch the ride he had arranged to get him to the courthouse without sullying his shoes. Luke was sitting in his battered, blue Subaru just outside the doors. Hux went around the passenger side and tucked himself into the seat.

“Big day, huh?” Luke asked as they rolled out of the slush-filled parking lot. “You must be excited.”

Hux gave a mute, thin-lipped smile. His stomach was still tight, leaning toward the pressure of anxiety. He wrote it off as pre-wedding jitters that anyone would have, but he hadn’t felt this way when he had married Ben. He had been nervous then, but it was more excitement than fear. Hux wasn’t afraid of marrying Poe, though. He wasn’t.

They arrived at the courthouse only a few minutes later, but Hux didn’t open the door as soon as they stopped. His gaze was drawn to the abstract metal sculpture that sat out in front of the building. It was at least ten feet tall and all sharp angles and clean lines, really very striking.

“When did the town buy that sculpture?” Hux asked.

Luke leaned on the wheel to get a better look at it. “Well, no one bought it. It was a gift.”

“From the artist?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And who is that?”

Luke raised his shaggy brows, glancing over at Hux. “You don’t know?”

Hux shook his head. “Is it someone famous?”

“He’s getting a bigger reputation these days,” said Luke, “but I wouldn’t call him famous. Yet.” He smiled. “It’s Ben’s work.”

Hux’s chest constricted with the sudden realization. That’s why Ben’s garage was full of pieces of metal, why he had been welding when Hux had first found him just a few days ago. He had used to play around in metal and woodshop during high school, but he had never really expressed an interest in making actual sculpture.

“When did he start doing this?” Hux said, continuing to admire the work.

“Oh, a year or so after you left,” Luke said. “He didn’t want to work in the pumping station anymore, so he started making these and selling them. He’s been doing pretty good. Supports himself on it now. He, ah, said he wanted to make something of himself.”

Hux felt his eyes stinging. Those words were his own; they came from a fight he had had with Ben near the end their marriage.

 

_“I don’t want to stay in this nowhere town for the rest of my life!” Hux shouted, slamming down the plate he had been carrying. “I want to make something of myself.”_

_“You are something,” Ben cried. “You’re my husband.”_

_Hux crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s not enough. And it shouldn’t be enough for you, either.”_

 

Ben had looked so hurt, so crestfallen. Hux had been too furious to care, but as he recalled it now, it pained him. He had done so much to hurt Ben the pursuit of what he wanted: leaving and then reappearing just to demand a divorce; sleeping with him despite the fact that he was promised to someone else; inviting Poe here and marrying him right in front of Ben’s face. It was reprehensible and selfish beyond measure, and for the first time in a long time, Hux was ashamed of himself.

“You okay, Hux?” Luke asked. “You look a little—”

Hux cut him off: “I’m fine. Fine.” He reached for the door handle. “Thank you for the ride, Luke.”

“Sure thing. You enjoy your special day, now.”

Hux’s knees were trembling as he stepped out onto the frosty, but clean sidewalk. His body was hot with guilt, his heart in his throat. Everything about this was wrong. He never should have brought Poe here. He should have gone back to New York and had his big, elaborate ceremony with his future senator fiancé. Arkanis was not Poe’s place any more than it was Hux’s. At least, not anymore. He was mixing his past with his future and making a mess of it all.

A wave of heat washed over him as he walked into the courthouse. Phasma was standing in the vestibule conversing with a woman in the robes of the justice of the peace. They both turned to see Hux, and the justice smiled.  She was grayer down than she had been when she married him and Ben, but she was the the same woman. Hux couldn’t bring himself to return the smile.

“There you are,” said Phasma. She was looking at Hux oddly, clearly reading that something was amiss. She was altogether too perceptive when it came to his moods. Taking him by the shoulder, she guided him toward the retiring room. He almost winced as they walked through the door, his memories of this place rushing back.

“Okay,” she said, hands on hips. “What’s wrong? You’re as white a sheet and your eyes are red. Are you going to cry? Tell me they’re happy tears.”

Hux swallowed, but it did little to loosen the tightness of his throat. “I’m all right,” he lied. “I’m just a little...overwhelmed. This might have been a bit sudden.”

“You think?” Phasma said. “I had to drop everything to come to Nowheresville, Alaska to watch you marry Poe a week or two after he asked you. You’re not the kind of person who does things on impulse, Hux.”

“I know,” he sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. “But I just need to have it done. There was something I need to put behind me.”

Phasma lifted her brows. “You mean your first husband?”

Hux snapped his head up, shocked. “How did you find out?” he asked.

“Everyone in this town knows about it,” she replied. “All I had to do was ask around a little. They said you came back here to see him. And that you were in some kind of skiing race and there was dancing involved.” She shook her head. “I do not understand this place.”

“I came to divorce him,” Hux said. “We’ve been separated for years, but we never finished the paperwork. Until yesterday.”

If Phasma was surprised or offended, she didn’t show it. Instead, she said, “That’s a long time to put off a few signatures.”

Hux hung his head. “I should have finished it years ago, but…”

“You didn’t want to.”

The truth hung like a hundred pound weight around Hux’s neck. He hadn’t wanted to end it with Ben because part of him still wondered if he would come for him. Practically, he knew it wouldn’t happen after the first year, but there was still the flame of hope. He had eventually accepted that it was all over, and that’s why he had finally started seeing other people, but then he had come back to Arkanis and without any forethought, he had fallen right back into Ben’s arms. There was still something there. Hux was certain there would always be something there.

“Are you still in love with him?” Phasma said, ever to-the-point.

Hux turned toward the window, looking at the sculpture again. “I don’t know.”

Phasma sighed behind him. “Well, I guess you had better figure it out in the next ten minutes because Poe is waiting for you out there.”

“Yes,” Hux said, closing his eyes. “Yes, I know. I’ll be there. I just...need a minute. Can you give me that?”

“Sure, Hux.”

The door closed behind her, leaving him alone in the room. The green carpet was soft under his shoes, so familiar and yet alien in this new circumstance. It was worn where many had tread in front of the full-length mirror in the corner. Hux had stood there himself twelve years ago, with Ben’s arms around his waist and his lips against his ear.

“Oh god,” Hux whispered.

He was feeling utterly lost, searching for what to do and finding no answer. But Poe was waiting. His future was waiting…

His train of thought was interrupted by the sharp trilling of his cell phone in the pocket of his jacket. Out of habit, he fumbled it out and looked down at the screen. It read “First Order Associates.” Hux’s law firm. He hit the button to answer the call.

“This is Hux.”

“Mr. Hux,” said a woman on the other end of the line, “I hope I’m not calling at a bad time.”

There likely couldn’t have been a worse time, but he said, “I only have a minute, but please go ahead.”

“Very well,” she said. “We received the divorce papers you sent us this morning. Everything is in order except for your signature.”

Hux’s breath stuck in his lungs. “What?”

“There’s a signature for Benjamin Solo, but yours is missing, sir,” she said.

“I...didn’t sign them?” Hux said, the words sounding tinny in his ears, as if he wasn’t the one saying them.

“No, Mr. Hux.”

It barely registered in Hux’s mind; it was spinning in a sudden frenzy. Somehow he had managed to not to sign the papers himself. He had thought he signed them years ago, and they were only waiting for Ben’s signature, but...he had been waiting and then he had forgotten to sign them.

For a moment he couldn’t fathom how that had happened. He was never forgetful, not of something as significant as signing the papers that would end his marriage. But he had.

“Nothing ‘just happens’ with you, Hux,” Ben had said just days before, when they were in the cabin together after sleeping together again the night before. “You think too much.”

_Nothing just happens. Nothing just happens._

Everything—Hux’s head, his eyes, his heart—cleared all at once. The room around him came into sharp relief.

“Would you like to come sign them at the office today?” the woman on the phone asked. “We’re available until five PM.”

“No,” Hux replied. “I won’t be signing them. I’d like them destroyed.”

There was a pause and then: “I can do that, Mr. Hux, but I’ll have to consult Mr.—”

“Do it, then,” he said sharply. “I am not finalizing the divorce. My husband and I have...reconciled.” It wasn’t altogether true, especially after Ben had signed, but Hux knew what he had to do now, what he wanted. He wanted Ben, and he would do whatever it took to show him how much.

“Very well, sir,” the woman said. “I’ll have the associate handling the case call you tomorrow to make sure this is what you want to do.”

“Fine,” said Hux. “Thank you. Goodbye.” He hung up with finality, looking down at his own reflection in the blank phone screen. Then he dropped it back into his pocket and went to the door.

Phasma was standing outside. He gestured to her, and she walked over.

“You look better,” she said. “You made up your mind.”

“Yes,” Hux said. “Will you bring Poe here?”

She looked a little sorrowful, but nodded, going to retrieve the man Hux was about to leave at the altar.

Poe looked resplendent in his suit, with his dark, full hair combed into stylish disarray. He smiled as he approached Hux, but there was concern his eyes. Hux held the door open for him and then shut it behind them.

“Everything okay, honey?” Poe asked when they were alone.

Hux took a steadying breath, trying to choose his words carefully. “There’s something I need to tell you. About why I came here.” He took a step closer. “Twelve years ago I married the boy I had loved since I was sixteen years old. We were eighteen and had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, but I loved him more than anything and that was what mattered. We stayed together for two years before I left for New York. I wanted to design and Arkanis is not the place to do that. He didn’t want to come with me, so I left him.”

“That must have been hard,” Poe said quietly.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” said Hux. Slowly he looked up to meet Poe’s eyes. “Until now.” He tried to breathe around the lump in his chest. “You see, when I left, I never got a divorce. I just got out of town and put it all behind me. Eventually I filed, but Ben wouldn’t sign the papers.”

Poe looked surprised. “Ben? The best friend you talked about? The guy that drove Phasma and I into town?”

Hux nodded. “I came here to make him sign so I would be legally free to marry you. It was over between him and me. I came here to put an end to this once and for all. But...I’m afraid I can’t.” His voice was thick with tears he found he wasn’t actually able to shed. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done this to you, brought you here like this. I just...I can’t marry you, Poe.”

The silence descended like a fog, creeping between them ominously. Hux continued to look at Poe, willing himself to keep eye contact. He owed him that much. He couldn’t run and hide from ending this engagement in such a terrible, cruel way.

“Okay.”

Hux’s heart seemed to stop. “O-Okay?” he stammered.

Poe reached out and grasped his hands. His expression was sad, but there was understanding there, too. “Hux, I care about you, and I want you to be happy. I’m not going to say this doesn’t break my heart, but if it’s what you need to do… If you need to be with him, I won’t stand in the way of that.”

Hux’s eyes sank closed, and the tears finally spilled over and down his cheeks. “I never deserved you,” he said. “You were too good for me. Too good _to_ me. I’m doing an awful thing to you. I am so, so sorry.”

“It hurts,” Poe said, wiping away a tear with his thumb, “but I promise, you deserve everything. You’re an amazing person, Hux. That husband of yours is a lucky man.”

Hux gave a wet, desperate laugh. “I’m going to miss you.”

“You’ll see me around,” said Poe, with a forlorn smile. “Unless you’re not coming back to New York.”

“Maybe not for a while,” Hux said, uncertain. “There are some things I need to sort out here.”

“I understand.” Poe gave Hux’s cheek a last touch. “Well, I guess you’d better get going, then.”

Hux squeezed his forearm as he lifted Poe’s hand away from his face. “Goodbye, Poe.”

Poe gave a small, hesitant farewell smile, a testament to his kind nature. “Goodbye, Hux.”

Hux slipped past him and into the main foyer of the courthouse. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get himself to the cabin, but he would walk if he had to.

However, fortune somehow decided to smile on him, and he found a familiar face just near the front doors. Han Solo, in his usual jeans and sweater, was standing there. Hux didn’t hesitate to go to him.

“Hux?” he said, brows rising. “What’s going on?”

“I need you to take me to Ben,” Hux said, fervent.

“For what, kid?” Han asked. “You’re supposed to be getting married, aren’t you?”

“I’m married already. To your son.” Hux reached for Han’s hand, clasping it between his. “Please take me home, Han.”

An earnest smile spread across Han’s face. “It’s ‘Dad’ to you.”

Hux laughed once, wild with relief. “Dad.”

Han nodded and pulled up the zipper on his jacket. “Come on, then, kid. Let’s get you to Ben.”

He led them out to the parking lot, where his battered truck was waiting. Hux pulled open the passenger door and slid into the seat. Han cranked up the heat to full blast as he turned the engine over.

“I knew you two were forever,” he said, shooting a look at Hux.

Hux smiled softly. “I think I’ve always known it, too.”


	8. Chapter 8

## Ben

_Ben came into the cabin, not even taking off his clothes, but calling out for Hux. Hux took his time answering. Ben could hear him puttering around in the kitchen rather loudly. Their latest argument had been only a few hours before, and Hux liked to take out his post-fight aggression on the unsuspecting cutlery and plates. He listened to the dishes being tossed into the sink unceremoniously, until there was finally an answer from Hux. It came in the form of an annoyed “What?”_

_“Can you come outside for a moment? I want to show you something.”_

_“I’m busy.”_

_Ben sighed, closed his eyes and counted to seven, until he opened them again, squeezing Pal’s leash in his hands. Pal sat next to him happily, albeit a bit confused as to why Ben hadn’t unleashed him yet. Ben looked down at him, thinking that the leash training was going rather well. Pal had only choked himself three times today._

_“Please,” Ben finally said. That was when the loud puttering around in the kitchen stopped and Hux walked out, looking at him. He wiped his wet hands with a dish towel and asked why Ben was still dressed._

_“Just put on your boots and coat. Come outside.”_

_Hux shook his head. Ben said please again, and Hux relented._

_“Fine,” he said in a long-suffering voice. Ben chose not to comment on his tone and patiently waited until Hux was dressed. He gave Ben a stare before he passed him, opened the door, and stepped out into the cold night. Pal let out a delighted bark when he realized they were going out again and started to pull on the leash, wanting to go after Hux as fast as possible._

_“Pal,” Ben said in his most authoritative voice, and Pal whined, but stopped struggling. He waited until Ben was next to him before he started walking again. Hux was already by the mailbox, arms crossed, foot tapping on the frozen ground impatiently._

_Sometimes, Ben wanted to bend him over something and spank his attitude out of him._

_Their relationship was fragile enough now though, so Ben just walked a bit faster and told him they were going up the hill behind the house._

_“But there’s so much snow there,” Hux complained._

_“We can take a hot shower after. Honestly, you’d think you’ve gotten used to living here. You know winter sometimes lasts until the end of April,” Ben replied, lifting Pal up and cradling him in his arms. He didn’t want him to fight his way through high snow since they’d already taken a long walk._

_“That’s not…” Hux started, but he didn’t continue the sentence. He just shook his head and walked ahead, stomping up the hill at an impressive speed, as if he wanted to show his husband that he didn’t give a damn about sinking into the snow knee-deep._

_Ben followed him quickly, and, after a few minutes, they reached the top of the hill. Ben could see Hux’s red cheeks because there was a full moon tonight. He wanted to reach out and touch it, but instead, he just buried his fingers deeper in Pal’s fur, checking if he was all right._

_“And?” Hux asked. “What was so important that I had to interrupt the dish washing?”_

_“Look around you,” Ben said, putting Pal down and then spreading his arms. Hux followed the direction of his arms,looking rather confused. He looked at the snow around them, the big trees that were heavy with it._

_“Look up,” Ben said, a bit exasperated._

_Hux did and stared at the sky blankly before hint of a smile curled at the corners of his mouth. Ben looked up, too, and smiled, because the view of the stars was breathtakingly clear._

_“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Ben asked, stepping a bit closer to Hux. Hux continued looking up at the night sky and nodded._

_“Yes, it is.”_

_Ben hesitated for a moment, before he wrapped his arm around Hux’s shoulders and pulled him closer to him. Hux let him, and Ben counted it as a minor victory._

_“Have you ever seen a better night sky?” Ben asked. “You love the stars. If you were born in another world, you’d probably be aboard a starship your whole life.”_

_Hux snorted. “What’s this about? I’ve seen the night sky here numerous times…”_

_“Well,” Ben said. “You don’t get to see a gorgeous night sky or nature like this in big-ass cities like New York, you know—“_

_He couldn’t even finish his sentence; Hux had already stepped away from him, glaring._

_“The nature doesn’t help me getting educated, Ben,” Hux said angrily. “That’s what it’s about again? Your stubbornness about never leaving this town? I get it, Ben. I get it. God, that’s why you pulled me out here? To prove a point? To tell me again and again that you’re not supporting me?”_

_“I just wanted to show you—“ Ben started, but Hux waved him off. He was already turning away and stomping down the snow._

_“Leave it. I’m tired and cold. I don’t want to discuss this. I don’t want to discuss this with you anymore. This isn’t what I wanted. This is not what I wanted at all…”_

_Ben stared after him, hearing his angry mumbling until Hux was swallowed by the darkness. When he was alone with Pal, he sighed and, picking him up again, buried his nose in Pal’s fur._

_“That’s not what I meant…”_

_Pal licked his eyebrow, and Ben shook his head._

_“Why is he so angry at me?” he asked the dog. Pal wagged his tail and licked at his chin this time._

_Ben sighed and started to walk down the hill too, the beauty of the night lost to him._

_When he reached the cabin, and entered it, everything was dark and there was no sound coming from the bedroom._

Ben sat on the cold floor of the garage, nipping at the whiskey in the bottle. He hadn’t even bothered with a glass. He never did. And he’d just gotten started. Just a few sips, trying to get into the right headspace for his newest piece. But no amount of forced concentration, or liquor, could keep his mind from the fact that Hux was currently in town — _their town_ — to marry a guy who was so much better than Ben in every way.

Ben’s heart squeezed, and he huffed, falling back. His head connected with the hard floor, and he closed his eyes. His world was spinning and definitely not from the alcohol. He moved his left hand, touching his left ring finger with his thumb, rubbing over the skin. He felt completely exposed and naked without the ring. He wished he hadn’t pulled the ring off in front of Hux. He wished he could still wear it and pretend he was still married and that they were just having a rough phase that resulted in Hux living on the other side of the continent for a decade.

Ben never had given up hope that Hux would come back to him after realizing they were made for each other. They belonged to each other. Some treacherous part of him still thought so. But Ben was sure he would forget about Hux. Not soon. Not in ten years. But maybe his last thought on his deathbed wouldn’t be Hux.

Chances were 70:30.

Ben groaned and tried to take a sip from the bottle. The whiskey sloshed all over his face. He didn’t want to deal with shit like that. Not now. So, he placed the bottle down. He didn’t manage it quite correctly, so the bottle swayed, tipped over and rolled away, splashing the whiskey on the floor on its way. Ben sighed and wiped his face with the rag that was stuffed in his pocket. He probably should go upstairs and take a shower or he’d reek as if he was an alcoholic, but moving felt like too much work right now.

He lifted his head a bit, glaring at the piece of metal that was glinting at him. On impulse, he put on his welding mask, as if it could hide from the world like this. He groaned, head falling back on the ground. It was becoming uncomfortable to lie here, even with the two heaters on. The cold was seeping into his bones, and he only felt colder when he thought about the fact that right at this very moment, Hux was saying _I do_ to a person that was not him. Hux smiling at this person, hugging him, looking happier than during his previous wedding.

Ben bit his lip, refusing to let the tears that were pooling in the corners of his eyes free. 

He had no idea how long he lay there, feeling pathetic and like a stupid teenager. It could have been minutes, an hour, days. But then the garage doors burst open, and he shivered at the gust of snow and wind blowing in. 

He wondered if he’d just fallen asleep, or frozen to death, because surely that couldn’t be Hux’s face in front of him suddenly, looking down at him with a mixture of concern and excitement.

“What.”

Hux reached out and lifted Ben’s welding mask from his face before he grabbed Ben’s hand and helped him up. Ben simply followed, distracted by the warmth of Hux’s palm and the fact that he was in a very nice tuxedo. Shouldn’t he be in town and cutting a cake by now?

“What,” he said it again, confused.

Hux smiled and then he was in Ben’s arms, pressing his face to Ben’s shoulder, his hands clasped together between Ben’s shoulder blades. Ben stood there, arms uselessly at his sides. He was afraid to lift them and touch Hux because Hux might as well burst like a dream bubble. Hux was holding him tighter, making some broken noise at the back of his throat. 

Ben’s hands shot up, and he curled them around Hux.

Hux was real. And solid. And he didn’t vanish. He let out a content sigh when Ben hugged him back, and Ben pressed his cheek against his head, wondering what was happening.

“What are you doing here?” he asked after a while of them just standing there. “Shouldn’t you be marrying someone?”

“I am already married,” came the muffled reply. Ben squeezed Hux’s shoulders. Hux got the hint and pulled away slightly, so they could look at each other. Hux was smiling.

“So?” Ben asked. “You got married and came back here for…what? To rub it in? To show me your ring? Is he outside, waiting to come inside too, so you two can laugh at me?” He didn’t mean to get louder at the end, but he couldn’t help it. Hadn’t he just yesterday left Hux for good? Hux ran away ten years ago, fucking begged him forever to finally get his divorce so he could ride into the sunset with his new lover. And now he was here. Still in his tuxedo, and _hugging_ him. 

No.

This was too much. What did he expect? A fucking congratulations card?

Hux looked taken aback at his outburst, and then he looked ashamed. His cheeks were tinted pink, which was a rather rare occurrence with Hux. Ben clenched his hands to fists, his nails digging into his palms. It hurt, but not enough.

“Why are you here?” he asked again. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? You have _everything_ , Hux. I signed it. You’re divorced. You’ve gotten rid of me. _Why are you here?_ ”

Ben shook his head and pushed Hux away. Or rather, he attempted to. Hux’s fingers dug into his biceps and Hux refused to let himself be pushed away. He clung to Ben and shook his head.

“You don’t understand,” he finally said, looking at Ben with wide eyes. Such green eyes. 

Ben had to look away. Hux raised his hand and touched Ben’s cheek, pushing gently. Ben looked back at him.

“I couldn’t go through with it,” he told Ben in a soft voice. “Ben, I know how much I’ve hurt you. All these years. I thought I wanted to be away from you. But now that I was with you for these few days again. I…I didn’t sign the papers, Ben. I didn’t even realize it. _I_ didn’t sign them. Do you understand that? I don’t want to be divorced from you.”

Ben’s head was reeling, and he slowly shook his head because that couldn’t be true.

“You tired _everything_ to get me sign those papers and all of the sudden you realize you don’t want to? What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you let me make a clean break already? Why are you always _taking_? Expecting that everyone does what you want, which everyone eventually _does_. What’s suddenly wrong with this rich New Yorker guy? Why are you—“

“He isn’t _you!_ ” Hux interrupted, loudly. “I’m sorry. I’m _so sorry, Ben_. I just…I was too stubborn to realize… God, we were so young, Ben. Why didn’t we ever learn that communication is the key?” Hux bowed his head and shook it slightly. “I didn’t sign them.”

Ben stiffened and his treacherous heart tried not to hope. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say anything. Afraid this might be one of those dreams he’d had about Hux. About Hux returning to him, telling him that he’d made a mistake, could he please forgive him and could they please have their own happily ever after?

But this was not a dream. Ben tried to subtly pinch his own elbow, but Hux continued talking, as if he wasn’t shattering Ben’s world right now.

“I saw your sculpture. In front of the—“ He didn’t want to say where he’d been, Ben mused. He trailed off so as not remind Ben that he’d been on the verge of marrying another man. A _better_ man, perhaps. To spare Ben’s feelings.

That was a first.

They never held back during their fights.

But this wasn’t a fight, Ben realized. Hux was laying himself bare. He tried to tell him—

“It’s so beautiful, Ben. It really is something. I...that’s what you’ve been doing the whole time? Art? Those beautiful installations of art? I never knew. I mean, I never actually saw you with a pencil when it wasn’t for homework.”

Against his will, Ben had to laugh. He shrugged.

“I…I wanted to burn all of your things. When I was raging…after you’ve left. I found everything: your art equipment, the university programs, everything. But instead of burning it, I just packed it into a box. I did snap one pencil, though. But it felt odd. Not satisfying at all. I carried the two pieces around for weeks. I wanted to know what was so special. About…you know. Why you left me. And I started to draw tiny figures on paper...with that broken piece of pencil. And it felt good. It felt like you were still with me.

“But it wasn’t enough. I was still so _angry_. And instead of trashing the whole cabin and the woods around it, I started to draw more abstract things. And when that still wasn’t enough, I realized that I wanted to see my own creation. Just like you, I guess. I suddenly realized that you also wanted to learn and then see your own creations. _Made_. And I moved on to metal. It was very satisfying to see.”

He shrugged again, feeling awkward about revealing all of this. But Hux stood before him, mesmerized as if Ben was the most precious thing he ever had laid eyes on. Somehow, it made Ben want to continue. But he felt too raw; he didn’t want for Hux to know all of this. Hux had left him. Hux…

Hux was the sole reason he’d started all of this. 

It always came down to Hux, didn’t it?

He opened his mouth, not really knowing how to continue. He shivered. But it wasn’t because Hux had left the garage door open.

“When I showed Rey a few pieces…she loved it. She encouraged me to try and sell it, and I couldn’t believe that people wanted to give me money for this. Something I had created. More money than I made back at the pumping station. With all my double shifts. So…I kind of stuck with it.”

He waited for the punch line, waited for Hux to laugh at him now, but it didn’t come.

Instead, Hux stepped closer and took Ben’s hands into his. He raised them up to his lips, kissed his knuckles while he held Ben’s wrists between his hands. Ben’s breath hitched, and he didn’t pull away.

“I’m so proud of you, Ben,” Hux told him. He looked so earnest and suddenly so much like the boy Ben had fallen in love with. With those bright, smart eyes that seemed to burn Ben through to his core. Hux was proud of him. That was it. That was the thing he’d been craving all along.

“I did it all for you,” Ben said, punching the words out, almost stumbling over them. It was true. It was an epiphany, like a slap in his face. “I wanted to make myself a better man. For you. I wanted to be worthy of your love. I thought if I make something of myself, something real, something serious...I thought that maybe you’d come back to me.”

He started when Hux reached out and touched his cheek. His _wet_ cheek. He hadn’t realized he’d started crying.

Out of relief.

“You never should have thought like that,” Hux said, looking shaken himself. “I never should have run away. We should have talked more. We should have worked through it. But _God_ , we were so young. Too young—“

Ben was suddenly tired of being angry at Hux. 

And he didn’t want to get angry at him again because he talked like that. If anyone was to blame for the shitshow that had been their marriage, it was him. Him and his idiotic views of a good marriage, his stubbornness. His _anger_.

He wrapped his arms around Hux and hugged him tightly, pressing his cheek against Hux’s hair. Hux took a shuddering breath, gripping Ben’s shoulders for support.

“Will you forgive me?” Hux asked, quietly, into his ear.

Ben almost sobbed, and buried his nose in Hux’s hair, inhaling his scent.

_Fuck_ , he’d missed this.

“Will _you_ forgive me?” he asked, and Hux laughed wetly against his shoulder. He pushed away from Ben to look at him. Ben stared back, cradling Hux’s face between his hands. Hux mirrored him, and Ben moved his head to snuggle into Hux’s warm palm. He pulled away from Hux’s face to curl the fingers of his left hand around Hux’s wrist, turned his head a bit more and kissed Hux’s palm. Hux looked at his hand and bit his lip.

Before Ben could ask what was wrong, Hux asked, “Where’s your ring?”

Ben smiled and beckoned Hux closer. When Hux was right there in front of him, Ben leaned over to place the softest of kisses on Hux’s lips, just a small peck. Hux gave a full body shudder as if Ben had just kissed the breath out of him. Ben could hardly believe that Hux still reacted to him like that. Because this was something else than their frantic coupling days ago; Ben’s pathetic attempt to win Hux back.

“It’s upstairs in the bedroom. In your bedside table. Right next to your ring,” he told him, and Hux’s eyes widened. 

“You still have my ring?”

“Of course, Hux. I told you I couldn’t get rid of your stuff.”

Hux was quiet for a few seconds, taking in this new information. 

Ben waited, heart beating fast.

“Take me there,” Hux eventually said, and Ben slowly breathed out.

“Come,” he said, taking Hux’s hand in his. He turned off the heaters and then the lights in the garage and brought him up to the cabin. He didn’t bother to turn on the lights in the living area. He just tugged Hux along to the bedroom. He only turned on the light on the chest of drawers because it was nicely dim and walked over to the side of the bed where Hux usually slept. Ben had never managed to sleep on Hux’s side of the bed. 

Even after ten years, he still slept on _his_ side, not even daring to roll over in the middle in the night, in fear of being swatted.

He opened the top compartment of the table and pulled out the ring he’d tossed in there. And after some rummaging, he eventually produced Hux’s ring. The simple gold band that had belonged to grandfather. He blew at it, before rubbing over the smooth surface with his finger to get rid of the dust of a decade. He’d never dared to look at the gold band again.

“Here,” he said, holding the ring out to Hux. Hux looked at it, almost in awe, and didn’t move.

Ben faltered a bit.

“Brenn,” he said, begging him to not leave now. Or tell him he’d changed his mind once again.

“Put it on me, please,” Hux said softly and held out his left hand. 

Warmth flooded Ben, and his hand was shaking slightly as he slipped the wedding ring on Hux’s finger. It still was a bit too big for Hux, but once it had settled before the third knuckle, Hux’s hand finally looked _right_ to Ben again. It had irked him seeing Hux’s left hand naked. 

“Now yours,” Hux said. He took Ben’s wedding ring from him to slip it on Ben’s finger. Ben had missed it in the twenty-four hours he hadn’t worn it. 

Something eased in his chest when Hux slipped the ring on. Something _big_. Something that had been eating its way from Ben’s core since the day Hux had left. 

“Hux,” he muttered, feeling broken and mended at the same time. “Hux. _Brenn_ , please.”

He didn’t even know what he was begging for. Hux seemed to know, though because he was in front of him in an instant, rubbing his hands over Ben’s biceps before pushing him down onto the bed.

“Shhh,” Hux said. “I’ve got you. I promise.”

“Do you?” Ben asked, feeling like a helpless child as he was spread out on the mattress, Hux’s hands roaming over his torso before they slipped under his sweater to touch the skin of his stomach. Ben bit his lip when they moved up, brushing his nipples. Hux pulled his hands away then, and draped himself over Ben. He was warm and solid on top of him. Ben wrapped his arms and legs around him, pressing him closer. 

He was _real_.

Ben wouldn’t cry now. He wouldn’t.

Hux kissed his neck, licking over the faint stubble right under his jaw before he grazed his teeth over it. 

“Hux,” Ben said again, gripping Hux’s ass. He tried to bring him even closer, he wanted them to melt into one body. He _wanted_.

“Sshh,” Hux muttered again. He leaned away to smile down at him. “I told you I’ve got you, right? Trust me. Please trust me.”

Ben nodded, biting down a whine because Hux was too far away again. Hux stroked over Ben’s lips with his thumb, and Ben opened them slightly to suck it in. He swirled his tongue around it, groaning slightly because he wanted more. Hux pushed his thumb farther and sighed happily.

“I missed your lips,” he told him. “Your plump lips. They are _obscene_ , do you know that? I missed them. On my lips. On my body. On my cock.”

He pulled out this thumb only to push his index and middle finger between Ben’s lips. Ben moaned when the fingers pressed down on his tongue. He sucked on them greedily, lifting his hips to make Hux feel how hard he already was. He grumbled when Hux withdrew his hand again and tried to chase it. Hux tugged at his sweater, and Ben sat up to get rid of it. Hux sat in his lap and did the same. It was a bit more difficult to get out of a suit though. Ben wanted to rip the fucking tuxedo off him.

Eventually, Hux made it out of his suit jacket and the dress shirt.

Ben touched his freckled chest, pinching one pink nipple and relishing the sound Hux made. 

“So, my plan worked?” Ben asked as they both fumbled to get out of their pants. “Blowing you on the dining table? Did that tip you off? That you missed me and my lips too much?”

He licked his lips when Hux’s cock sprang free, just as hard as Ben’s was. He still couldn’t believe that this was happening. That Hux came back to him on the day he was supposed to marry another man.

“Fuck,” Ben said, gripping Hux’s hips. “Fuck, tell me it was my lips. My sex skills. My hands, whatever—“

He stopped babbling when Hux captured his mouth with his. His tongue slipped past his lips, and Ben moaned when Hux licked into his mouth. Ben spread his hands over Hux’s lower back, holding him there on his thighs. When they broke apart, Hux smirked because he’d shut him up rather effectively.

“It was _you_ , Ben. Just you.”

He said it in such a soft voice that Ben blinked. Warmth filled his body, spreading down to his toes. But the warmth was soon replaced with heat pooling in his gut when Hux pushed him back and made himself comfortable between Ben’s slightly spread legs. 

Their cocks rubbed together, and Ben scratched his nails over Hux’s back. He hooked his ankles together behind Hux’s legs and pressed him closer. They rubbed against each other, breathing into each other’s mouths, sharing kisses that were heated and lazy at the same time. 

“Lube,” Ben panted when the dry of Hux’s finger padded against his hole. Hux teased him by pushing slightly, and Ben wished there was a way to have Hux like that. This whole preparation thing took so much time. Too much time when you were trying to _reconcile_ with your runaway husband.

Hux chuckled and licked over his nipple before he clamped his teeth down on it. Ben hissed, and Hux licked over it apologetically. He kissed it before he moved over to the other nipple, doing the same thing. Ben’s nails were leaving red marks on his back by now.

“Get it then,” Hux told him, and Ben stretched under him, managing to get to his drawer, barely. He fumbled for the bottle of lube, dropping it two times because Hux used the stretch of his body to shuffle down and leave small bite marks on the inner sides of his thighs. 

“Fuck,” Ben muttered. He only was capable of only speaking one word it seemed. “Fuck, stop.”

Or two.

He gripped Hux’s hair, pulling him away from his bruised skin and pressing the bottle of lube into Hux’s hand. Hux took it, but stayed shuffled between Ben’s legs, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed so far that he could almost kneel on the floor. Hux didn’t seem to mind the rather uncomfortable position. He nudged Ben’s legs apart with his hands, even spreading Ben’s asscheeks apart to look at his hole.

“You’re so full of want,” Hux said in awe, and Ben bit onto his own finger when Hux pressed his face between his cheeks and gave his rim a short lick. He kissed the tight ring of muscle and only pulled away because Ben begged him to _get on with it_. 

“I want your cock, please. One fucking _decade_ , Brennan.”

Hux looked a bit dazed.

“All right, all right,” he said. He kissed Ben’s navel and then proceeded to squeeze lube ontop his fingers. Ben watched him, a bit mesmerized because he hadn’t seen this sight in a long, long time. Hux between his legs, lube on his fingers and about to push them into Ben. 

Ben hadn’t lied.

It _had_ been a decade for him. 

That way.

Only Hux was ever allowed _there_.

Hux seemed to realize that, too, when he pushed into him with one finger and moaned because Ben was so unbearably tight.

“Jesus,” he said. “How long has it been since…” Hux asked, trailing off. He frowned. Ben could guess that Hux didn’t want to think about past partners doing what he was doing.

“Ten years,” Ben said, trying to relax. He hoped that muscle memory would take over soon, because he wanted nothing more Hux’s cock. He made a frustrated noise when Hux’s finger just stilled in him.

“ _Hux_ ,” he complained. He looked down between his legs. Hux looked up at him, a flush across his cheeks. He looked so lovely. 

And yet, Ben wanted to strangle him with his thighs because he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to do. 

“Hux,” he repeated, and wrapped his thighs around Hux’s head, squeezing lightly. Hux snapped out of it and was spurred into motion. Once again, Hux was on him, kissing the life out of him. It was rough, almost too aggressive. Hux propped himself up on his left hand, right next to Ben’s head and fucked his finger steadily into him. 

“More, Hux. More. Please.”

Hux bit down on his lower lip, pulling at it with his teeth. 

He added a second finger, scissoring them lightly before he crooked them. Ben sighed happily, arched his back and welcomed the pleasure that was mixed with a slight ache. Hux released his lip and sucked a bruise right under Ben’s left ear. Ben shivered and moaned when Hux’s fingers brushed his prostate again.

“Fuck me, yes. Fuck me. Just like that. Get me ready for your cock, Hux. Fucking give it to me.”

“Were you always that talkative?” Hux mumbled. Ben could feel his hot cheek pressed against his own.

“You just pushed it at the back of your mind, or else you’d have come running back to me after your first nights in New York…” Ben muttered.

Hux huffed, but didn’t deny it. He kissed his way down Ben’s body, sucking a bruise on his chest, right over his heart. The noises that his slicked fingers made were lewd, and Ben could feel the heat: first in his ears, then spreading over his cheeks, and when Hux was three fingers in, Ben’s chest was outright burning and he was half sitting up, his arms around Hux’s shoulders and moaning into Hux’s ear as Hux was doing everything to make this prep feel good. Hux’s fingers always had driven him mad.

But having them again after ten years was unbearable. 

“Hux…Hux… _Hux_.” 

He was so sure he sounded worse than during their wedding night. Hux licked away the sweat from his temple and bit into his earlobe. Ben winced, and his cock twitched.

“You’re going to come, aren’t you? I just need to touch you there. Or maybe even _breathe_ against your lovely cock and you’re done for.”

Fuck, he was right.

“No,” Ben slurred. “No…want you in me, please…fuck…”

Hux sighed, kissing Ben’s dry lips before he sat up, pulling his fingers out. Ben’s hole clenched around nothing pathetically, and Ben groaned in frustration.

“Patience, love,” Hux said. 

Ben propped himself up on his elbows and watched Hux slicking himself up. Hux’s cock was leaking, a nice angry red, and if Ben weren’t so desperate for it, he would have swallowed it down in an instant, sucking on it until Hux gave him all he got.

_Later._

It baffled Ben that there would be a _later_.

They both were at a loss for words when Hux finally nudged his entrance with the tip of his cock and pushed into him. Slowly but steadily. 

This was different than before.

Before had been desperate. Ben’s desperate tries to win Hux back, to show him that they were right for each other. Now it was just…

Completion.

Because Hux was back.

_He_ had Hux back.

Hux was silent, too, the playfulness gone from him. Hux stared down between them, watching how his cock was slowly pushing into Ben. Ben’s whole world spun a bit when Hux muttered _“Perfect”_. Ben made a small sound, and Hux’s lips were immediately on his again, capturing his mouth in a bruising kiss. 

“Fuck me,” Ben panted against his mouth when they pulled apart. Hux nodded, grabbing one of Ben’s legs to guide it over his shoulder. He slid in deeper, and they both moaned. Hux set a steady rhythm then, not too fast and not too slow, just enough to drive Ben slightly insane. 

“Touch me please. I need to come, fuck…” Ben begged him after a short while because as good as this was, knowing that he would have it _again_ made him quite desperate to come now and drag other rounds out later. Hux’s answer was a grunt, and he did as he was told, wrapping his hand around Ben’s aching cock, rubbing the precome over the tip with his thumb. He changed his angle slightly, looking for—

“Ah,” Ben cried out. It only took Hux a few more thrusts and stroking Ben in the same rhythm before Ben came all over Hux’s hand, clenching around him.

Hux moaned, hips stuttering, and Ben sighed happily when he could feel Hux’s hot release spilling into him. Hux made a choked-off sound and rode out his orgasm with a few lazy thrusts until he toppled down on top of Ben.

He breathed heavily into Ben’s ear, and Ben stroked his back, grinning at the ceiling like an idiot. Hux gave him a slow kiss, and they both sighed when he pulled out. Ben watched Hux get up from the bed while he felt the warmth Hux had left behind dripping out of him. Hux moved around in the bedroom as if he never had been gone. Ben grinned when Hux needed a while to find the light switch for the bathroom, though. It had moved with the renovation.

He almost nodded off then, lulled by the sounds of Hux walking around in the bathroom, turning on the tap and humming to himself.

Fuck, he’d missed this.

Ben opened his eyes again when a warm washcloth was slipped between his legs. Hux looked thoughtful as he cleaned Ben up, almost afraid. 

“What is it?” Ben asked, wondering what could be wrong in a moment like that.

Hux turned to him, smiling reassuringly and then shrugged. He folded the used cloth and put it on the bedside table.

“I’ve just been thinking if there’s any possibility of getting better internet here so I can talk with everyone in New York every day once I’ve moved back. I can draw my designs everywhere, but a fast connection is rather helpful for Skype conferences with the atelier and such…”

Ben sighed, heart pounding because _moving back_ were the words he’d longed to hear for so long now. 

“I appreciate the thought, Brenn,” Ben said, slowly sitting up and ignoring the ache between his legs. He brushed Hux’s damp hair out of his face before he kissed his temple. “But it’s more convenient if you’re in New York, right? There’s no use creating New York’s newest fashion if you’re sitting in bumfuck nowhere. Where would you get your inspiration from? Maz?”

Hux chuckled but then shook his head. 

“I don’t want to leave you ever again. I can work from here. I’ll just have to go back to get things in order, and then I’ll come right back here…”

Ben smiled, happy that Hux would consider coming back to him like that. But now it was his turn to make sure his husband didn’t run away again. It was his turn to make Hux happy like he deserved.

“Don’t worry like that. As long as I have a studio to work in, I can live anywhere.”

Hux looked at him, clearly surprised.

“But Arkanis is your home, Ben.”

“ _You’re_ my home. Home is a person. _My_ person. I’m not going to lose you again because of my stupidity, Brenn”, he said earnestly.

Hux blinked. “Huh,” he said, and then he smiled at Ben broadly. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“We’re discussing where we’re going to live and there are no raised voices. No fights.”

Hux looked pleased. And giddy.

Ben grinned back and tackled Hux back onto the bed. 

They both giggled like in their wedding night. But Ben could swear that he was even happier than twelve years ago. 

Just a tiny bit.

(Ben realized he had a message from his dad when they were done with a second round. Han had thrown together quick _wedding party_ at Lando’s.

When Ben carried Hux over the threshold of the bar two hours later, Hux didn’t complain or want to be put down.

He beamed and kissed Ben when Han announced _Mr. and Mr. Solo_ under the thunderous applause from their family and friends.)

* * *

**One Year Later**

“Would you _stop_ doing that?”

Ben looked up from his cereal, stopping mid-crunch.

“Stop _what_? I’m eating.”

“Yes, that,” Hux complained. He was going through the program for his show tonight, looking like he might puke at any moment. Ben sighed. It had been difficult getting Hux into their bed last night and he was pretty sure that Hux had snuck out while he’d been dead asleep to fret over his big show today.

Ben left the bowl of cereal where it was and slid from the bar stool. He rounded the kitchen island and walked to Hux, who sat on another bar stool, hands in his unwashed hair, clutching it. 

“Breathe, babe,” he told him. “It’s going to be amazing. You know it. I know it. Your friends know it. Your minions know it—“

“Don’t call them that,” Hux reminded him for the nth time.

Ben talked over him: “And this week will end as amazing as it started.”

“Just because you sold a piece again doesn’t mean my show will be a success. Crazy rich Manhattan folk are thirsting for your stuff; it’s not even funny anymore.”

Ben gave a long-suffering sigh, rolled his eyes, and then pulled Hux from his chair, hugging him tightly. When that wasn’t enough, he dipped Hux and gave him a long kiss as if they were in a 1950s Hollywood movie. Hux looked perfectly dazed and distracted when Ben let go off him and helped him stand up straight. 

“You’ve got this, Mr. Solo. I have my utmost faith in you,” Ben told him.

Hux licked his lips and then a gave Ben a small smile.

“I shall be satisfied with your faith then. Because it’s the most important thing to me.”

Ben raked his fingers through Hux’s hair and smiled. 

“Good,” he said. They both looked down when there was a whine. Pal was whining at them. When he saw that he had their attention, he trotted over to the front door to paw at it.

“How about that?” Ben said. “You take Pal for a walk and when you’re back I’ll have a nice hot bath ready for you. I’ll even wash your hair and do your nails. Preparing you for your grand runway show. We even can dye your hair in some funky color so you can be cool.”

Hux rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his smile. He hummed and nodded. 

“Sounds good. Yes. A bit of fresh air. Right, Pal?”

Pal barked, and Hux laughed. He squeezed Ben’s shoulder and then walked over to slip into his shoes and his jacket. He grabbed his keys and wallet, put Pal on the leash and told him it shouldn’t take longer than half an hour.

“Take your time. And don’t call Phasma!” Ben called after him. Hux jingled with his keys as he raised his hand goodbye and walked out of the apartment.

Ben could hear his _Pal, no!_ after the front door was closed and chuckled because apparently 7A’s little poodle lady was going for a walk, too.

He walked back to his soggy cereal and turned on his tablet. He scrolled through the Alaska news before he opened the New Yorker news sites, reading the headlines and enjoying his coffee. He stopped scrolling when he saw a particular headline and tapped on it. He smiled when he read over the article that featured Poe’s and Finn’s happy faces before he sent a link to the article to Hux. 

Poe and Finn had tied the knot, and the New York gossip sites had gone crazy because they adored that power couple.

Hux’s answer was a string of happy emoji. Hux had been incredibly happy when they had found out that Poe had eventually found his true love in Finn. 

(Ben had just been glad that Poe wasn’t a threat anymore.)

There was another text from Hux, stating that Pal already finished his business. And he demanded that Ben use the _romance_ bath bomb. Ben sent back a smirk, put the phone away and quickly finished his coffee. 

There were things to do. 

Tubs to be filled.

Husbands to please.

Ben smiled to himself, and touched their old wedding picture—it was hanging at the wall—on his way to the master bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with us! We hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow us on our tumblr if you want! come and talk to us [here (Gef)](http://gefionne.tumblr.com/) and [here (Minze)!](http://minzimpression.tumblr.com/)
> 
> **Like sweet tunes? Check out the soundtrack to the fic[here](http://8tracks.com/gefionne/sweet-home-arkanis).**


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